In a couple of days Santa makes his rounds. Norad of course is notified and we can follow his progress on radar on Norads website (this is very considerate of Santa to let them know otherwise they might mistake him for a ballistic missile.)
Anyway, Santa comes down our Chimney and leaves presents.
Is this illegal? Is Santa trespassing?
Could you legally invoke the “Make my day law” of Texas and shoot Santa for breaking into your house?
Could you prosecute Santa if you have a “no trespassing” sign on your property?
What provisions has the law made if any in regard to Santa’s activities?
Is there an implied consent when he comes into your house, or is he engaging in outlaw activity?
A reasonable person knows that every Dec24/25, Santa will pay them a visit, bearing either gifts or coal.
So are we responsible for Santa’s wellbeing while in our homes? Should we lock up the Rottweillers and Ridgebacks? What if the chimney is out of code? If we leave him, say, peanut-butter cookies, and he is allergic, are we responsible? Boggles the mind.
Well, since NORAD can see him, Santa’s days are numbered. 2004, we get our first ABM units online. Then its buh-bye fellah.
I’m thinking he’s okay. IANAL, but I mean, if NORAD knows where he’s at, and he’s not actually stealing anything when he comes by, then he’s gotta be legal.
But, Santa being Santa, he knows who’s naughty and who’s nice. So I’m guessing that he probably already knows who’d pop him for trespassing, and avoids those places. Or just leaves the presents at the end of the driveway.
What assurances do we have from Santa regarding his own security procedures anyway? According to unclassified estimates, Santa’s sleigh attains velocities of up to 650 miles per second and weighs over 353,000 tons. The impact of such a missile under terrorist control could cause MASSIVE devastation.
In these troubled times we clearly cannot allow such a potential Weapon of Mass Destruction into our airspace without very strict security protocols–which I really doubt could be put in place in the next 72 hours. For imperative reasons of National Security, Christmas will have to be cancelled, for this year at the very least.
Generally, consent is a defense to trespassing. Santa seems to only enter the homes of consenting parties who want presents.
If he were to break into your house without your consent you would theoretically be authorized to use whatever force was necessary to deal with him. However, it would be difficult to sell to a jury the necessity of utilizing deadly force, as it is an almost universally known fact that Santa only enters homes for the purpose of leaving presents. Mistaken identity could be a defense if deadly force was in fact used, but again, you would have to sell the court on idea that you reasonably did not expect the person coming down your chimney on December 24th to be Santa Claus. This would likely be nonetheless moot in any event, due to the consensual nature of the entrance into the home. Certainly the fact that we have had several hundred years pass without major incident should tell us something.
I would think that the presence of empty stockings suspended over the fireplace on Christmas Eve would constitute an implied invitation, as would the presence of cookies and milk. And frankly, if the cookies and milk have a little sign wiht them that says “For Santa”, well, then, there isn’t even any grey area.
“Cookies and milk”? This sounds very PC. Anyway, in the UK a mince pie and a glass of sherry is more traditional. Based on MEBuckner’s entertaining link, this now adds the prospect of Santa’s having had 91.8 million glasses of sherry by the end of his work day. No wonder Christmas is just once a year - it must take 364 days to recover from the hangover.
I live in an apartment building, with no chimney or fireplace. So if someone parks their sleigh and reindeer on my roof, I’m gonna have to have it towed and impounded.
Me, I’m not sure whether we’ll be able to serve process on the Big Guy. I bet the elves run some mean interference.
And I don’t think he can be deemed to have consented to jurisdiction anywhere by “doing business” either. From the IRS perspective, he’s probably more a hobbyist.
I’d expect the IRS to treat him as a sole proprietor, so he has to file Schedule C for the portion of his business in the USA. I don’t think they’d consider his gift-distribution efforts a hobby. (Anybody care to check the relevant IRS publication?)
Section 183 of the Code clearly states that you don’t get business deductions unless you have both the potential for profit and the intent to profit; no profit potential, no business! Hell, he doesn’t even have any income (pastries and nips aside). Of course, a lack of income tied to a jet-setting lifestyle…now THAT may interest the IRS…