Damn bughunter, that’s the funniest damn post I’ve read in quite a while. Kudos on your use of imagery, if I remember that at work tomorrow I’ll probably be fired for causing a disturbance.
That said, perhaps psyllium husks might be less violent than the aforementioned forms of colon-blow. Just a thought.
I very rarely suffer from constipation but some years back I had this incident where I was feeling extremely bad and, after trying hard on the toilet it became clear the clog was just not coming out. With water and lots of soap I inserted a finger in the anus and the feces broke up quite easily and in a few times I managed to expel the clumping clog. My recollection is that the anus is much narrower than the colon so that I was surprised to see that I could get my finger easily around the clump that I could not expel. This method proved extremely easy and at that time I thought I should do it at any time when I was very constipated even if not strictly necessary, but I have never done it again and just suffer the pain when I am constipated. Thank goodness it rarely happens.
Omigod, this is the funniest thing I’ve read in a very, very long time. One of the cats came over to make sure I wasn’t choking.
I laughed until I cried at that, jarbaby, I’m sorry. I feel your pain. I had to see the doctor recently for constipation, after trying to self-treat with every brand of laxative, enema, and suppository available over the counter. I even gave myself a mineral oil enema. I was uncomfortable all the time, and I felt like I had a 50 inch waist. I can’t imagine what it would be like to feel that way all the time. The doctor did a rectal exam (joy :rolleyes: ) but the blockage was, uh, higher up. He prescribed Miralax, which gave me a lot of gas but no relief. We finally resorted to the old standby of magnesium citrate. I didn’t leave the house for two days.
Right- just had one myself. REAL fun :eek: Golyte is a “wonder drug” alright.
You can have an impacted colon. It’s rare, and very uncomfortable.
What kinds of food are good for keeping one regular? Like plenty of vegetables? What about oatmeal?
This claim helps purveyors of laxatives, “colon cleansing” and various quack remedies sell their stuff. But it is a pile of hooey, and forms part of a couple of wacko urban legends.
You could write a lengthy book (and someone probably has) about humans and their obsessions with pooping.*
And if that isn’t bad enough, there is a subculture of people who are convinced that their bodies harbor all manner of dreadful parasites, which cause every known disease. There are quacks who cater to these folks with various noxious remedies. I saw one ad for a parasite cleanse which warned that you’d better follow up with a colon cleanse, lest you wind up with a bowel full of dead parasites.
Nobody wants that.
*This should not be construed as a slam against the OP.
I suffer from ulcerative colitis. Nasty, nasty condition, and I recommend it not. I merely post here because when i was first diagnosed, I was diagnosed by a surgeon who prescribed a full colonoscopy. He was gonna be DAMNED if he was going to get his lilly-whites dirty digging around in my rectum so he prescribed a gallon jug of Colyte, which is similar to the Go-lytely stuff. Well, my nurse also told me to chill and chug, which I did. I didn’t QUITE get it all down - I left about 8 oz. of the stuff in the bottom of the jug, but I just couldn’t do it. Apparently it was good enough, though. Hey, did you know this stuff is basically anti-freeze? Polypropylene Glycol, the bottle says - Prestone is PolyETHYLYNE Glycol - an important distinction, to be sure, but geez…
Anyway, my long-term gastroenterologist has me take Flee Phospho-Soda laxative mixed with Sprite or 7-Up and it seems to work just fine (I have to do this every year for checkups), along with a 24-hour clear liquids diet and 2 enemas the morning of the procedure. Apparently, that bastard surgeon didn’t want to have to “wash out” any “leftovers” with the always-available wash nozzle that’s built into the scope…
Now, if anyone has any suggestions on what best to mix that Phospho-soda with…I’m really SICK of the “Ginger Flavor” variety, and can’t stand to drink lemon-lime sodas anymore…
bughunter, if you ever write a book, I wanna know, 'cause I want to read it. I don’t know when I’ve laughed so hard.
I decided to look at this thread because I have IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), which features alternating between constipation and diarrhea. Some meds I have to take now pretty much eliminate the liquid problems, but exacerbate the solid ones, to paraphrase gently. I must not have a very bad case, because most of the time, taking a daily fibertab keeps me more-or-less “regular” (mostly every day, with occasional skips). When more is needed, I use one of several additional “helps”. Cascara sagrada caps seem to work well for most people (me included). I also occasionally use chromium picolinate, which (for me) works a bit more, um, energetically. And Celestial Seasonings (herbal teas) offers a Laxa-Tea. Very gentle. I hate the taste because it includes licorice; others will love it for the same reason. It’s a combination (read the label) of ingredients.
I would also recommend that anyone with any sort of GI problems add lysine as a daily supplement. I learned about it from a nutrition professor at a university where I used to work. It helps speed recovery from cold sores, canker sores, and even from a “sore butt”. My guess is that mucous membranes (which line large sections of the entire GI tract, from lips to anus) need this particular supplement in greater quantities than it appears in our (processed) diets.
I use the powered instant Arizona Iced Teas with the stuff. Nothing makes it a great beverage but that seems (mix it strong) to be the best bad taste killer I have found.
The two are very, very different things. The ‘poly-’ means that it’s mostly a chain of whatever the second half of the word is - a long chain of styrenes, for example, is called polystyrene, AKA styrofoam. They both have glycol as an accessory, if you want to think of it that way, but that doesn’t make them the same, any more than if my sister and I happen to wear the same skirt. (Of course, such a thing would precipitate a serious crisis, and one of use would have to change right now, but I think we’d manage to maintain separate identities :D) Antifreeze is pretty toxic, BTW - don’t drink it, no matter how imipacted you think your colon is.