http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren’t the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
He’s good, but he’s not THAT good.
The reason that it’s in cartoon form is that it could never happen. It’s just anti-Chuck propoganda.
Is that Tobias Funke as a blue man?
as a superhero, or villain?
This has gotta be the funniest thing I’ve read all month.
Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he’s never cried.
Chuck Norris is where babies come from.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the Universe and everything in it into existence. None of this six days and then resting shit.
The world will end when Mr. T pities a foo at the exact same time Chuck Norris is roundhouse kicking him in the face.
I could go on for hours.
My two personal favorites:
When Chuck Norris jumps into water he doesn’t get wet. Instead water gets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once sold his soul to the devil for unmatched martial arts skills. He then roundhouse kicked the devil in the head. The devil laughed at the irony. They now play poker every thursday.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris.
The Dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. ONCE.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris’ shoe. Chuck replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Chuck Norris!” The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
OK, this one made me laugh:
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
My favorite:
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn’t take shit from anybody.
Okay guys.
Hope this isn’t GD.
Who wins?
Chucks Norris vs Bill Brasky.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Made me smile.
In 1969, Neil Armstrong had a pause in his “One Small Step for Mankind” statment. It’s because Chuck Norris was already there, and slapped him when he came down the ladder.
At the Trinity Site in New Mexico, we didn’t drop an atomic bomb. We dropped Chuck Norris.
Tripler
My fav: "Chuck Norris does not know about this site. Otherwise he would have deleted the internet. "
Chuck Norris doesn’t get sick.
Sick gets Chuck Norrissed.
What about Chuck Norris vs. Jack Bauer?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, Chuck Norris hears it.
Chuck Norris built Rome in one day.
Here’s a homegrown one:
Chuck Norris was not born, he was quarried.
My two favourites:
Time waits for no man, unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not go “hunting” as the word “hunting” implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.