Oh, my, oh my. This stuff is so funny, I laughed myself into hiccups. Darn you!!!
If I were you, I wouldn’t worry about whether a mod’ll move this thread. I’d worry about a tear in the space-time continuum!!! 
Last Saturday night, we were coming home from a night out and started throwing around Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris jokes. After my friend and I had gone through the list that’s been circling around, we started coming up with our own jokes. The one that made me crack up the most was:
Chuck Norris knows whether Schrödinger’s cat is alive or dead before the box is opened. This is because he roundhouse kicked the cat to death while it was still in the box. Then he ate the radioactive material.
Of course, alcohol may have had something to do with it, but it was still pretty funny.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris is the only one who knows who Cecil really is, and has roundhoused to death all other witnesses.
If at first you dont’ succeed - Well shit, you ain’t Chuck Norris.
So, you’re saying Chuck Norris is really Ed Zotti? :eek:
Actually, that makes sense. I mean, have you ever seen the two of them together in the same place at the same time?
When Chuck Norris donates blood he forgoes the syringe. He instead asks for a handgun and a bucket.
Chuck Norris fought the law. The law did not win.
Chuck Norris once roundhoused a guy so hard his glasses came out his ass. In one piece.
Chuck Norris once told God to show him something impressive so God parted the Red Sea. Chuck Norris casually round-house kicked God in the nuts so hard that he dropped the Red Sea and changed history.
Chuck Norris Responds to Random Facts
Every time Chuck Norris smiles it saves the life of a dying man. Ironically, Chuck Norris only smiles after he kills someone. 
Chuck Norris has deadly telekenetic powrfdfrtdr3b
“Sorry. Put it on my tab.” said Chuck Norris as he glanced back at the Sphinx.
Luckily, Chuck Norris does not take offense nor take these things too seriously and hopes his new books will be seek out by the Internet folks.
And that leads to:
The infinity monkeys that were supposed to someday type the works of Shakespeare noticed that Chuck Norris was coming, they had his books even edited and set for prepress in a nanosecond.
Chuck Norris snorkeled the Mariana Trench, the deepest part of the ocean. Once. In 1960. For 20 minutes.
“If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.”
This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read about Chuck Norris seeing me.
Psh. Chuck Norris was there twice. In 1980. For 3 hours. Out of spite.
Y’know, now that you mention it, I heard something about that. But the way I heard it he was there in 2004. On the 26th of December. And on the way down he roundhouse kicked a whale, cleared his snorkel, and… :eek:
If a chicken and a half lays an egg and a half in one day, then how long would it Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?