[deep breaths] All right…I’ve finally calmed down enough to come back here, and I have to say that the responses were…more or less what I expected.
AlsoNamedBort - A massive irritation doesn’t have to be ubiquitous, or even commonplace, to be massively irritating, because the fact that it exists at all is bad enough. It’s like a single random eardrum-shredding firework going off in the middle of a quiet evening, or riding down a peaceful bike path and suddenly slamming into a pothole. And the exact same thing happening every few months afterward…indefinitely. I’m guessing you wouldn’t casually shrug that sort of thing off; heck, you might think you’re cursed. That’s how it is with me and this Chuck Norris idiocy; I still haven’t seen the end. “All your base are belong to us” ended “Hi, Opal!” ended. “Snake! Snake! SNAAAAAKE!” ended. Not Chuck Norris Facts. Every time I thought it was gone, some asswipe resurrected it. Maybe death is the final straw, but I can’t be sure of it. There was a time I thought measles was whipped too.
Joey_P - Ah, yes, I remember that one. I’m actually not too worried because he’s just a goofy comedian and not some bizarre God figure with a whole goddamned book praising his omnipotence. I’m also fairly certain that by the time he dies, nearly all of social media won’t remember what the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics even was, much less what made it so backward or adversarial.
Mean_Mr. Mustard - You’re welcome! 
I’m actually trying to avoid huge tirades now…bad for the blood pressure and all…but when those frigging jokes cropped up again on this board, I couldn’t stay quiet.
solost - You know what, this wouldn’t even have bugged me that much if these people would’ve just come clean about it afterward. “There’s so much stupidity in my life. I knew the idea of an omniscient invisible columnist was out there, but I was so desperate to the idea of supreme intelligence…I just wanted to believe.” I’m human! I’ve been driven to ridiculous beliefs in moments of weakness! I can relate to that! There’s just so long you can keep kayfabe going before it becomes just pathetic, you know?
DWMarch - Y’know, all this time I thought that meant “I’m going to batter you unconscious”. I never thought him the weird non sequitur type.