Chuck Norris vs. Most Interesting Man in the World.

In My Humble Opinion
1

Probably done before, a hundred times, but in case I really AM this clever…

In this corner, Chuck Norris:
[ul]
[li]Boogieman checks his closet for Chuck Norris[/li][li]CAN believe it’s not butter[/li][li]Doesn’t flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it[/li][/ul]

The challenger, The Most Interesting Man in the World
[ul]
[li]Sharks have a week dedicated to him.[/li][li]Bulls refuse to fight him.[/li][li]Once had an awkward moment just to see how it felt.[/li][/ul]

10 rounds. Queensbury rules.

Who wins?

2

Interesting Man is multi-talented, Norris has one talent:KILL.

Norris wins.

3

I’m not interested.

4

They once tried to carve Chuck Norris’ face into Mt. Rushmore, but the granite wasn’t hard enough. Conversely, the Most Interesting Man in the World lives vicariously through himself.

Chuck Norris.

5

Chuck Norris never gets thirsty. He wins.

6

To be fair, The Most Interesting Man in the World once found the Fountain of Youth, but he wasn’t thirsty.

7

But Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice!

8

MIMITW:
“He once traveled to and explored the Virgin Islands, when he left they were just ‘The Islands.’”

On Manscaping: “I have no idea what this is.”

On Wingmen: “It doesn’t take more than one man to talk to a woman.”

On Careers: “Find out what is in life that you do not do well, and then don’t do that thing.”

and the coup de grace:
“He is the only person Chuck Norris has apologized to.”

9

Both memes (well, Dos XX is an ad…) are identical to the Vin Diesel Facts that were first on the scene, but never really that clever. Between the two imitators, Most Interesting wins handily. The quips are, well, more interesting.

10

So? The Most Interesting Man in the World once had a four-day staring contest with himself. Which he won.

11

That’s pretty good, but Chuck Norris challenged Spain to a soccer match and won. Also, Miss Daisy drove him.

12

The MIMITW would show his feminine side, if he had one.

Chuck Norris wouldn’t and doesn’t.

Chuck Norris FTW.

13

The MIMITW is a lover, not a fighter. But he’s also a fighter, so don’t get any ideas.
He can also disarm you with his looks. Or his hands. Either way.

14

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe; he holds air hostage.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Death once had a near-Chuck experience.

Chuck Norris Can hear sign language.

15

Chuck Norris is easier to say than The Most Interesting Man in the World.

The Most Interesting Man in the World is merely interesting. Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris created God so God would create the universe because Chuck Norris had killed reality and was getting bored.

16

The Most Interesting Man in the World doesn’t always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.

Chuck Norris ALWAYS drinks beer.

Point Norris.

17

One is a semi-fictional character who encourages things which lead to poor judgment and life-changing mistakes.

The other sells beer.

18

If there was a rock so large that even God couldn’t lift it, the MIMITW could calculate it’s weight in his head to 29 significant figures. That’s pretty cool, but Chuck could simply smash the rock with his little finger, rendering it weightless.

Much as it pains me to say this, I’d say Chuck wins. Stay thirsty my friends…

-XT

19

On Rollerblading: “No”

20

The Most Interesting Man in the World would win and kill Chuck Norris, and before he struck the killing blow, his entire life would flash before Chuck’s eyes.