Mordor walks to Chuck Norris.
[Current NFL star quarterback] can throw a football 60 yards. Chuck Norris can throw him farther.
Charles Nelson Riley was a mighty man.
In Soviet Russia… Soviet Russia no longer exists thanks to the commie-busting efforts of Chuck Norris and Ronald Reagan.
I’m surprised someone is just now finding out about the power of Chuck. I don’t remember when I first heard them, but it has to be at least 5 years ago. When did they first show up?
The link on Chuck Norris memes upthread explains it. Mid 2000s.
What? No way. That’s just when the meme of Chuck Norris as [del]Ridiculous[/del] Supremely Tough Guy rose to talk-show and internet prominence. The actual image comes from his cheesy 1980s movies. Then Walker, Texas Ranger was built out of that image, with further tropes embellished from Norris’ background and the kind of TV he grew up on. He’s a Marine out of Vietnam, and a martial arts phenom, and a crusty Old West lawman (with Indian wisdom). :eek:
Rumor has it that Chuck Norris breathed a little sigh of relief the day The Most Interesting Man In The World took off to Mars.
He went to Mars to escape from Chuck Norris. Not that Chuck couldn’t get him if he wanted to.
I was just going to say, if the OP has just heard about Chuck Norris jokes wait a few years until he hears about The Most Interesting Man In The World.
Chuck Norris jokes…Why not?
Seriously. Chuck Norris as an internet sensation peaked 8-10 years ago.
Someday, the OP may even discover rage comics.
Before going to sleep at night, the boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
Hey, everybody, guess what? I’m going to be The Humorless Killjoy Who Ruins It For Everybody again! (What the hell, it’s my vacation, I have the time.)
See, davida03801, there are two key elements in any successful Internet meme: 1. The ability to generate a large, fanatically loyal mega-hardcore base that will repeat the meme over and over and over unto freaking death, and 2. a Mafia-like culture of terror that prevents anyone, no matter how goddam sick they are of the meme, from ever speaking up against it. Once the meme goes unchallenged long enough, the Stockholm Syndrome kicks in, and soon everyone is happily parroting the stupid garbage. If it lasts long enough, it reaches the point where the Pavlovian response kicks in, and just by mentioning the words at all (like you just did), everyone, every-fricking-one (well, except me…I kinda just slipped through the cracks, can’t explain how 
), even those who originally opposed the meme, falls right into line repeating the same tedious crap we’ve seen a thousand times before. No, seriously, this is at least the fourth time I’ve seen that “he doesn’t sleep, he waits” one.
So how does a meme reach this status, you ask? What, you think there’s reason to this nonsense? It’s completely random. No one knows. That’s how memes work. IMO, that Zero Wing stuff…y’know, all your base are belong to us, they have set us up the bomb…was a lot funnier, not to mention far more creative in its execution, than this Chuck Norris junk, and it’s gone. Caramelldansen, which actually required making animated gifs? Gone the way of the Macarena. Some of those LOLcats were at least servicably funny; have you seen one anywhere lately?
Therefore, and forgive me if I sound harsh here, I will have to hold you responsible for unleashing this latest round of deader-than-dead unfunny drivel. It’s been over a decade and there has been zero opposition anywhere. That should’ve been your red flag, your warning not to awaken this sleeping abomination again. For crying out loud, this is the Straight Dope Message Board. We’re supposed to be the smart guys, and look how this this thread has been 100% repetition, 100% falling in line, and 100% lemming-sheeplike compliance (yes, yes, except me, I’m the weirdo, we got that, all right?). I know you expect these things to eventually just die, but c’mon, if we’re still hearing the same moronic lame stupid boring pointless crap we’ve been hearing for A GODDAM DECADE, trust me, it is beyond death.
There is no understanding. There is no reason. There is no method. There is no joy, no love, no peace, no goodwill. This Chuck Norris crap is going to outlive him. All you can do is not talk about it, ever.
Oh, and Chuck Norris used to be an invincible omnipotent god who struck terror in all…but then he took an arrow to the knee! HA!
(What the hell, LOLcat’s already out of the bag, may as well take my shot…)
I prefer the original subject, Vin Diesel, myself.
My favorite Chuck Norris fact was thus:
Chuck Norris once marketed a brand of Chuck Norris toilet paper. It was a commercial failure because it was rough, tough, and didn’t take shit from anyone.
I think a lot of the mileage for this meme came from the fact that Chuck Norris has this duality where he’s the ultimate badass because so many of us remember Walker, Texas Ranger and his 80s movies from when we were kids, and yet, literally the only accomplishments he’s actually known for are Walker Texas Ranger and a bunch of cheesy 80s action films. It’s just the right combination of awesome and absurd.
A year or two back he got a lot of visibility again for voicing support for the Jade Helm conspiracy theories, and I just couldn’t deal with the fact that there were people out there taking the star of Invasion USA and Sidekicks seriously as an expert on the topic.
Chuck Norris talks about Fight Club.
More seriously, recent academic research into internet memes suggests that people who rail against them uniformly suffered from serious deficiencies of bad parental humour and family in-jokes in their childhood.
Humor comes from natural evolution, but there is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
All comedy is based on fear. No one is the source of more fear than Chuck Norris.
QED.
DKW, Chuck Norris hates you.