Chuck Norris Jokes......Why ?

[Just_Asking_Questions]

@Raguleader

A year or two back he got a lot of visibility again for voicing support for the Jade Helm conspiracy theories, and I just couldn’t deal with the fact that there were people out there taking the star of Invasion USA and Sidekicks seriously as an expert on the topic.

I know what you mean.

I like the jokes, but Chuck as a person seems so detestible. It’s not fair.

You can’t transfer the joke to Seagal. He’s too full of himself. Jet Li is too obscure, Vin Diesel doesn’t exude the same take no shit toughness, and Dwayne Johnson just seems too nice. He seems like he’ll kick your ass if he must, but he’d prefer not to.

[running_coach]

@Just_Asking_Questions

I know what you mean.

I like the jokes, but Chuck as a person seems so detestible. It’s not fair.

You can’t transfer the joke to Seagal. He’s too full of himself. Jet Li is too obscure, Vin Diesel doesn’t exude the same take no shit toughness, and Dwayne Johnson just seems too nice. He seems like he’ll kick your ass if he must, but he’d prefer not to.

Hence the weight gain.

[furryman]

@DKW

Hey, everybody, guess what? I’m going to be The Humorless Killjoy Who Ruins It For Everybody again! (What the hell, it’s my vacation, I have the time.)

See, davida03801, there are two key elements in any successful Internet meme: 1. The ability to generate a large, fanatically loyal mega-hardcore base that will repeat the meme over and over and over unto freaking death, and 2. a Mafia-like culture of terror that prevents anyone, no matter how goddam sick they are of the meme, from ever speaking up against it. Once the meme goes unchallenged long enough, the Stockholm Syndrome kicks in, and soon everyone is happily parroting the stupid garbage. If it lasts long enough, it reaches the point where the Pavlovian response kicks in, and just by mentioning the words at all (like you just did), everyone, every-fricking-one (well, except me…I kinda just slipped through the cracks, can’t explain how ), even those who originally opposed the meme, falls right into line repeating the same tedious crap we’ve seen a thousand times before. No, seriously, this is at least the fourth time I’ve seen that “he doesn’t sleep, he waits” one.

So how does a meme reach this status, you ask? What, you think there’s reason to this nonsense? It’s completely random. No one knows. That’s how memes work. IMO, that Zero Wing stuff…y’know, all your base are belong to us, they have set us up the bomb…was a lot funnier, not to mention far more creative in its execution, than this Chuck Norris junk, and it’s gone. Caramelldansen, which actually required making animated gifs? Gone the way of the Macarena. Some of those LOLcats were at least servicably funny; have you seen one anywhere lately?

Therefore, and forgive me if I sound harsh here, I will have to hold you responsible for unleashing this latest round of deader-than-dead unfunny drivel. It’s been over a decade and there has been zero opposition anywhere. That should’ve been your red flag, your warning not to awaken this sleeping abomination again. For crying out loud, this is the Straight Dope Message Board. We’re supposed to be the smart guys, and look how this this thread has been 100% repetition, 100% falling in line, and 100% lemming-sheeplike compliance (yes, yes, except me, I’m the weirdo, we got that, all right?). I know you expect these things to eventually just die, but c’mon, if we’re still hearing the same moronic lame stupid boring pointless crap we’ve been hearing for A GODDAM DECADE, trust me, it is beyond death.

There is no understanding. There is no reason. There is no method. There is no joy, no love, no peace, no goodwill. This Chuck Norris crap is going to outlive him. All you can do is not talk about it, ever.

Oh, and Chuck Norris used to be an invincible omnipotent god who struck terror in all…but then he took an arrow to the knee! HA!

(What the hell, LOLcat’s already out of the bag, may as well take my shot…)

I like memes because I like jokes that you can repeat 1000 times. I don’t consider myself the kind of person who likes things simply because there cool. It just appeals to my sense of humor

[Peremensoe]

@Just_Asking_Questions

I know what you mean.

I like the jokes, but Chuck as a person seems so detestible. It’s not fair.

You can’t transfer the joke to Seagal. He’s too full of himself. Jet Li is too obscure, Vin Diesel doesn’t exude the same take no shit toughness, and Dwayne Johnson just seems too nice. He seems like he’ll kick your ass if he must, but he’d prefer not to.

Again, Chuck Norris was around, and had established the image that the jokes rely on, before any of these people were known (or even grown up, in Rock’s case).

And it’s not actually a complimentary image.

[Raguleader]

@Just_Asking_Questions

I know what you mean.

I like the jokes, but Chuck as a person seems so detestible. It’s not fair.

You can’t transfer the joke to Seagal. He’s too full of himself. Jet Li is too obscure, Vin Diesel doesn’t exude the same take no shit toughness, and Dwayne Johnson just seems too nice. He seems like he’ll kick your ass if he must, but he’d prefer not to.

Vin Diesel’s temperament doesn’t really strike me as the sort that favors this type of joke. He strikes me as the kind of guy who probably could put a guy on his ass for starting something, except that he’d first have to actually give a shit about some punk trying to start something, and unfortunately that punk just isn’t worth the time of day.

[running_coach]

@Raguleader

Vin Diesel’s temperament doesn’t really strike me as the sort that favors this type of joke. He strikes me as the kind of guy who probably could put a guy on his ass for starting something, except that he’d first have to actually give a shit about some punk trying to start something, and unfortunately that punk just isn’t worth the time of day.

One thing to know about him is he’s a huge D&D geek.

[DrFidelius]

Why Chuck Norris? Why not?

Helen Keller probably never tried to read a waffle iron, elephants do not actually hide in refrigerators, and your mama is neither that heavy nor that promiscuous.

Don’t over analyze the jokes.

[Cardigan]

Has anyone heard what Chuck Norris thinks about all the Chuck Norris jokes?

[running_coach]

@Cardigan

Has anyone heard what Chuck Norris thinks about all the Chuck Norris jokes?

He likes them. I think he even put out a book of his personal favorites.
And it was published. Who would dare say no?

[SigMan]

Let’s ask Chuck.

- YouTube

[Doctor_Jackson]

@DrFidelius

…elephants do not actually hide in refrigerators…

Then how in the hell did those footprints get in the butter???

[Johnny_Bravo]

@running_coach

He likes them. I think he even put out a book of his personal favorites.
And it was published. Who would dare say no?

Actually, he got his panties in a bunch and sued a guy who put out a book because he said that some of the jokes made him look bad. Then he dropped the suit about a year later (probably after he realized that he couldn’t win a lawsuit against a parody), then a while after THAT he put out one of his own.

He’s honestly kind of a turd.

[Raining_Facts]

If Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a building together, it would be instantly annihilated. That much awesome can’t be contained.

[Count_Blucher]

@Cardigan

Has anyone heard what Chuck Norris thinks about all the Chuck Norris jokes?

Honestly, I don’t get why some day, when he’s at a public forum, he doesn’t just say, “I wish you people would STFU with these stupid jokes.”
It has to grate on his nerves… they are as funny as bad second grade knock-knock jokes and older than Pokemon/YugiOh/MaxHeadroom.

[msmith537]

@Count_Blucher

Honestly, I don’t get why some day, when he’s at a public forum, he doesn’t just say, “I wish you people would STFU with these stupid jokes.”
It has to grate on his nerves… they are as funny as bad second grade knock-knock jokes and older than Pokemon/YugiOh/MaxHeadroom.

Because “humor” is among Chuck Norris’s nine senses.

[msmith537]

Also funny was Conan O’Brian’s “Walker Texas Ranger Lever”