I’ve Googled and found information about it, but what is the deal with (or behind) the Church of the SubGenius? Are there any members who are Dopers? None of the sites really explained it, it just looked like a lot of people having fun.
Is this all a joke, or is there a serious side? Does the ordainment mean anything?
** Steelerphan**
Y.O.U. my friend, you are in LuCk. I happen to be The High Episkopos, (T.H.E.), Ignitor of the Illuminati,(IoI), Simon W. Moon 523, KSC, Illuminati UNLTD inc. (EIEIO).
For the newly reduced and greatly rewarded small price of 99.99 (USD) I will gladly share some of the Many GLORIOUS Secrets of the CHURCH with you.
For this one time only limited time offer you too can learn to pull the wool over you OWN eyes and to pick your OWN third nostril[sup]TM[/sup]. You too can be the proud owner of the Quality goes in before the N.A.M.E. goes on.
habafropzupopulus!
Ask about how you can purchase you very own franchise on the T.R.U.T.H.
I’m not a member of the Church of the Subgenius, but I am a genuine and certified Pope. I carry the card in my wallet, in front of the drivers’ license (ANYBODY can drive if you pass the test, being a Pope is better.)
Pope Ourri XLII, at your service. Actually, you’re at my service, since I’m-a da frickin’ Pope.
I’ll add something more, Steelerphan, in a “ha-ha-only-serious” vein. Like all great religions, the Church of the SubGenius is based on a profound core spiritual insight. It might or might not be true, but either way, it is profound, and worthy of attention.
In the COSG’s case, this insight is that “humanity” is divided into two fundamentally different groups: those who really have imaginations and creativity and senses of humor and really know what it’s like to be alive . . . and the others, who don’t. In our view the first group are us, the SubGenii, whether saved or unsaved; latter group are the “normals,” the “humans,” the “pinks.” The pinks are a vast numerical majority; therefore a SubGenius faces the challenge of living among them and still getting some slack out of life without going insane from boredom and frustration. The Church and “Bob”'s grace help us to do this. But it’s ultimately a do-it-yourself plan. As it was said on the SubG recruitment video, Arise,, “The SubGenius can learn to think for himself – but only “Bob” can show him how!”
The difference between SubG’s and pinks has nothing to do with intelligence, by the way, as “psychologists” measure it. “It’s not intelligence, it’s what you do with it! One idiot who thinks up a good new joke is worth a thousand scientists making A-bombs, according to “Bob”!”
Salvation costs $30.00. (I am a priest of the Church and authorized to accept donations; or, you can send it straight to the Holy Post Office Box or pay by credit card on the website.) For that you get not only what I’ve already described, but a guaranteed reserved seat in the escape saucers to Asgard, when the Men from Planet X come down (in so short a time!) to “spray the planet for humans.” In Asgard we will enjoy eternal slack and cytorspasmic OozSquirt!
But the scientist who paints daisies on his A-Bomb is worth even more.
Until you reject “Bob” you cannot understand “Bob”. Until you hate “Bob” you cannot follow “Bob”. Until you kill “Bob” you cannot be “Bob”. Strike that last one. You can’t be “Bob” no matter what you do. Just kill “Bob” for the hell of it.