City of Memphis, get out of my way!

On any regular morning, you’re blazing through school zones at 80 mph while taking on two crack whores at once and firing your assault rifles out the window in celebration, but today, when I’m late for work, you’re driving like a bunch of fucking preachers on the way to the farmer’s market. At one point, someone actually slowed down at a yellow light!

The gall!

Memphis has always been like that for me, too, and I don’t even live there. I just use their airport a lot, and I can always guarantee that:
If I’ve got all the time in the world, I can get from Little Rock to Memphis in 2.75 hours.
If I’ve got to be there in 3 hours, it will take 3.75 to get there.

I feel your pain.

Heh. I’ve never been to Memphis, but damn did this crack me up.

God, people are doing that again? I thought that trend had played itself out when I left 3 years ago.

Seriously, that could be an actual event, and neither I, nor any other Memphian, would be the least bit surprised.

[happy dance] I don’t live there anymore. Nyah nyah nayhhhh [/happy dance, whilst wriggling fingers on either side of head]

Traffic jam on Poplar!

Let me through! Let me through! Damn these Hudsons and Studebakers!

I have shopping to do downtown at Goldsmith’s and Lowenstein’s!

Let me through!