Hurry up and Wait, Speed Demons!!

Yeah, you fucker who zig-zagged in and out of every goddamn lane on the road almost running everyone off, only to hurry up to stop at THE NEXT FUCKING RED LIGHT! And then, you stupid asshole, you do it all over again only to hurry up to stop at THE NEXT FUCKING RED LIGHT!

Can I shoot your tires out legally?

Maybe this guy’s on day 20 of a Groundhog’s Day type scenerio and the only way out is to beat the light.

Just a thought…

This one time at school I blew around some guy going about 10 under the speed limit. We came up to a red light a few seconds later and I could see him pointing and questioning my actions to his passenger.

Little did he know that if you drive through this part of downtown at the correct (5-10 over the limit) speed you can get through about 10 synchronized lights and not have to stop again for another 10 minutes at least.

So I’m sure he was justified, but I sure as hell didn’t see him pulling out of downtown when all the lights behind me turned red!

Usually I’m a pretty normal driver. I hate people that zig zag all over the place all the time during rush hour. They always end up getting stuck behind some truck or q-tip.

My worst pet peeve are people who rush up from two miles behind when a lane is closing (whether construction or not) and expect to be let in at the last possible second! FUCK YOU!

My fave response to these idiot speed demons is, (when it’s summer, and everyone’s windows are down) to look over at him/her and gush in a sickeningly sweet, but yet obviously condescending way, “Oh, gosh, you made it to the RED light SooooOOOO much faster than the rest of us!!!, Wow”!!! Then, when the light turns green, smile and wave.

If you meet up with them at the next red light. Smile and wave and say “oh HI there, You did it again!!! You big stud you”!!!

What, you risk getting busted for speeding just to save about 10 minutes? I would think having to wait for some cop to write you up would take quite a bit longer than 10 lousy minutes.

Of course, the joke will be on you if they decide to chage the timing on those lights. :smiley:

There’s a guy that I work with (I don’t know him personally, but he pulls into my office parking lot every morning) who does this every morning. The company I work for is in a town beyond the end of the expressway that comes out of the city, so you’ll be tooling along at a pretty good clip until the expressway ends and becomes full access rather than limited access. Between the end of the expressway and my office building (about 4 miles away) there are 10 traffic signals.

So, every morning, I see Mr. Aqua Truck come roaring up behind me on the expressway, dodging in and out of lanes, cutting people off if you’re going a hair slower than he wants to go. And every morning I’m behind him at every light. Sometimes he manages to lane dodge and cut people off between lights so that he gets 2 or 3 cars ahead of me…but by the time we reach our office building, traffic has thinned back out that I’m right behind him again.

He just doesn’t get it. All the stress, the pushing, pissing people off…it gets him nowhere. If he’d just drive like a normal person, everyone’s blood pressure would be a little lower and he’d get there the same time he does anyway, despite his arrogant and aggressive driving habits.


I’d type up a note explaining what you just now told us, and put it on his windshield. Make sure it’s when he can’t see.

Or, if you’re brave, just confront him, in a nice way. (I guess I’m kind of gutsy this way). Something to the effect of "gosh, doesn’t that just drive your blood pressure up? All that rushing? Do you realize that I see you racing in and out of traffic every day, and I don’t, but yet you and I arrive in the parking lot at the same time? You poor thing, you must have such a stressful life, then go “tsk, tsk” like a mother hen, smile and walk away.

Interesting thread…I love to talk about traffic.

People who excessively change lanes are fools. And then they think that the entire other three lanes are going to stop when they find themselves too far away from their turning lane.

I had a lady about a year ago who cut me off four times on the same ride to work. I only have to drive about two miles…and half of that is alongside this idiot.

All four times it was the same. I stay in the right lane unless I come up on someone really slow (a good 15 mph under the speed limit). I come from the right…I turn to the right. I really have no business being in either of the two left lanes. Four times that morning, I was stuck behind someone turning right with no extra lane to use. Four times, this stupid lady speeds up to take the absent car’s space in the lane. Four times, she barely has enough room to do so…and four times, she does this without using her turn signal. The first time, I honked as I really didn’t think she saw me for some crazy reason. Then, she switched lanes to get further ahead only to fall behind me. I glared at her as I passed. She glared back.

I was a bit more ready for her the second time. The horn wasn’t part of my reaction. Again, she switched lanes to get further ahead only to fall further behind. I glared again as I passed. She didn’t look back this time.

The third time she was shrugging as far away from my stare as possible while gripping the steering wheel with white knuckled hands.

The fourth (and last) time, she was apparently cursing and striking the steering wheel with her fists as I passed her.

At that point, with about a block left to go before my turn, I slowed waaaaaaaaaaaaaay down and let the bitch pass. The way she was pummeling her steering wheel, I’m surprised that the air bag wasn’t activated. I couldn’t imagine that she would have anywhere near as good of control with her arms flailing as they were.

I waved her in, and she waited until whe was a full two car lengths ahead of me to take her place in my lane. The, I got the last laugh. I can only imagine her expression as she looked in her rear view mirror to see me turning.

ok, I’ll admit my cruel streak of cutting off speed demons and pissing the bloody hell out of them. I do it whenever i can.
my favorite thing is to pace alongside another car, thus blocking both lanes while the angry idiot swerves back and forth behind us waiting for a clear path.
pure bliss…

I have to admit that I do what beajerry does, I get my fix blocking one of those idiots in the wrong lane…Somebody has to teach them a lesson.

Well now, let me be the first to stake out the unpopular position: I may be one of the people you are bitching about. I never cut people off but I do drive pretty fast, and I’ll change lanes as needed to get around slower moving traffic. And you know what? When I get to a red light I’ll stop like every one else, and I’m not seething, or stressed out, or angry, and here’s the key: * I just like driving fast.* I’m not in a hurry, and I don’t care if you catch up to me after a while, because I simply enjoyed those few minutes while I was driving at a nice clip.

As for people like beajerry and herman_and_bill I’m sorry that your lives are so devoid of joy that you have to get your kicks by pissing off other people. You need to get that anger under control.

At least in PA this is what you are suppose to do and I’ve seen signs to the effect along the lines:

Stay in lane till it ends then alternate merge

I have to agree with Lizardo. I just like to drive fast.

People get confused. They think you drive fast 'cause you’re in a hurry; so when you end up stopped at the same stop light, they get all smug: “Look, you drove like a maniac, and you still get to work at the same time as I do, so there!”

They don’t get it; it’s the driving fast that’s fun. It’s like cooking for yourself: It’s the cooking that’s fun, not the fact that fifteen minutes later your stomach’s full.

Time is infinite. Our time is absolutly finite. You can waste it in traffic if you want, but I’m hauling ass to get thru that light before it turns red and wasting even more of it.

Nearly every day on my way to work, I am going just a tad faster than the slugs around me, and I nearly every day see them get caught at the only light on the way to work as I motor on, ahead of the pack, with no one to get in my way up the big hill that slows the idiots down to 45mph because they didn’t get enough run at it.

Sorry. I got better things to do with my limited time.

And Rocketeer is right. The faster, the funner! :smiley:

Fagjunk Theology: Not just for sodomite propagandists anymore.

I’m with Lizardo and Rocketeer. I just like to go fast. I’m not in a rush, and well aware of the fact that I’ll probably end up next to the same people at the next light, but when you’re in the front and the light changes, it’s fun to floor it and see how fast you can get up to speed.

However, this is different from driving like a speeding asshole. Cutting in and out and tailgating is wrong. When there’s traffic I’m waiting in line like everyone else.

The thing I don’t understand is the people who jump the lights (they know it’s going to change and basically run the red light right before it changes) but then don’t drive fast. What’s the point of that?

Until some coyote in a blue uniform shows up. :slight_smile:

LOL, I do this one too, but I find the “tsk tsk, you poor stupid spastic thing” tactic SO satisfying.

Being pitied or thought the fool, REALLY pisses people off. Since you aren’t flipping them off and being arrogant in return, they really can’t get into a Nasty glaring or flipping off contest with you, and the beauty is…

You KNOW, that THEY know, that you know they are being idiots.

I think a lot of us “just like going fast” Lizardo (and whoever else chimed in saying “I like this too”).

The point is, that in crowded, bumper to bumper traffic going an average of 20-30 mph, it’s STUPID, DANGEROUS and RUDE to dodge in and out of traffic, cutting people off and barely wedging in, in front of people.

If there is a fair amount of room and the average speed of the other motorists is safe, then Yeah, it’s more fun to go as fast as possible.

And as for “I’m not mad, or in a rush, I just like to go fast” that you guys say you are. Well, then you aren’t the ones we are all talking about.

The ones we are talking about ARE all red-faced, stressed looking and about to pop a vein. Glaring at anyone who DARES go only 15 miles above the speed limit on the highway, blaring their horns etc.

And it’s not from anger that we do the things we do. It’s just fun to watch them about have a heart attack, when they can’t have their way and tear in and out of rush hour traffic (dangerous and stupid as it is)!!!

What planet do you live on where this actually happens? :wink:

(That is, without causing a five mile backup of people not merging, cutting off other drivers, not letting people in, etc.)