Cleavage

Not an eyesore. Not so. Especially for us members of the V.P.L.A.S.. :slight_smile:

Maryellen Hooper has a great bit in her comedy routine about that.

“Like I want to date the idiot that fools. ‘No, they’re breasts. Oh, wait, it’s raining; there they go.’”

:smiley:

Alright, I’ll bite. :wink: What is the V.P.L.A.S.?

I love both unclothed boobs and the cleavage of artfully clothed ones, with their teasing and promise of more to come. What amazes me is that when I walk through the lingerie aisles at Sears and Penneys I see racks of mutant bras that already seem to have breasts in them. If I were a truly desperate and single male I could buy a few of these and not have to worry about a date.

I just want to state right here and now that Nacho4Sara has now become one of my favorite DoperChicks[sup]TM[/sup].

Darling, your post helped me more than you can imagine.

I am in definitely a member of the Pro-Cleavage Party of Amurcka.

Visible Panty Line Appreciation Society :slight_smile:

First aid tape.

Duct tape removes skin. Electrical tape is better, but still hurts like hell. What you want is first aid tape.

(If you do insist on Duct Tape, you are suppose to liberally talc first, which reduces the amount of skin you pull off later).

Not only handy for cleavage, also works well when one requires support under the backless dress or strapless gown.

And, if you are indeed a c-cup, the correct amount of pushing in the right direction should yield cleavage up the yango. However, even a good bra generally isn’t made to do this. What one needs is a nice whaleboned corset - but nothing with cups to seperate - just boning to push everything up and in. Then you can participate in the ice cube shooting contests at your local RenFest, where - with practice - you can hit a mug from eight feet out.

(I had a misspent youth).

Woohoo! You are my heroine! I couldn’t have elucidated the problems better myself. I can totally relate to the flailing boob issue.

As for the “great support/rockin’ cleavage” bras…What are they & where can I get a copious amount of them? Almost all my bras are waving the white flag at this point.

“Flailing Boob Issue.”

“Cleavage up the Yango.”

“Pro-Cleavage Party of Amurcka.”

“Mutant Bras.”

This thread is band-name heaven!

Im sorry, your description just does not cut it. I need accurate up to date photographs of said cleavage before I can prescribe a remedy. please come again.

Could you, some time, show me pictures of your horribly mis-spent youth?

No, no, it’s okay. Someone should sit through all those whale-bone corset shot of you in your leaping dance of joy, with your arms up, victorious after another round of “throw the cold thing into the hole”.

I know, it seems like a lot, but gosh darnit, I’m willing to do that much extra for my fellow doper.

I don’t know if it’s still there, but this site used to have detailed directions on how to tape your boobs for that Ren Fair cleavage: www.wench.org

ACE Bandage… My younger sister skipped the booby line in her evolutionary trip… hehehe I got it all… do be do…

[hijack]I remember strapping her together once so she could look as if she had some. Poor thing is more concave than anything… 2 Apririn on an ironing board type of thing… Wasn’t until she had kids she got any… [/hijack]

Back to the subject…

I’ve also read about the makeup tricks for creating cleavage.

I find an underwire gives me the best cleavage and support. Tight shirts just look tight and don’t positively accent (IMHO).

Now I’m confused, because I’ve also read that:

So, is separation conducive to cleavage or not? Must. Find. Facts!

Gee, I thought I won that honor when I expressed amazement that you were 40 (right? I think you said you were 40). I said, “Pshaw, Dave! You’re not a day over 32!” Mental note to self: don’t bother with compliments, just talk about boobies. :slight_smile:

The Bali Concealer is the best I’ve found yet. Be forewarned, though, that you may have to go up a few sizes: I generally wear a 38D, but I had to get a 40DD for the right fit (and a smooth line.) My boobs are unstoppable in that bra. They are all pushed up and together, so they look amazing even under a t-shirt.

Also, try the Bali Shoulder Spa Bra. Not only does it have padded S-straps that sit on a different part of your shoulder (which gives amazing comfort), but it’s totally smooth and gives great cleavage. (Not as great as the Concealer, though). It’s amazingly comfortable, and my boobs look fabulous.

Those are the two greatest bras I’ve ever worn. The best part was, I somehow (through a sale event, a full bra & panty club card, and a mail-in rebate) ended up with FIVE bras for the price of TWO (but both were on sale, so it was really FIVE for the price on ONE AND A HALF!)

Actually, Sarah, I said I was 42 (now I’m 43), and you said you had me pegged at about 35 or so.

But, yeah, that actually made me start having worshipful feelings for you.

Now, though, with the added bonus of the boobie/cleavage/bra/tight T-shirt talk, I’m almost to the point where I’m seriously considering obsessing over you, stalking you, committing heinous crimes to impress you, and going to jail for life just as soon as I can clear up some time on my calendar.

There’s my problem… there is no bigger size for me. DD is pretty much the biggest off-the-rack cup size I can find. I refuse to pay a million dollars and special order bras :frowning:

Shoulder Spa Bra. Sounds like something I’d like to try. All of my bras leave that crease in the shoulder from carrying around all that extra weignt. At the end of a long day my shoulders look like I’ve been whipped. Any bra that has the name spa in it has to be good. Thanks ** Nacho4Sara** I’ll go shopping this weekend.

[hijack]

You need to play “Whose boobs?”

Also take a look at "The Mystery of Britney Spears’ Breasts. Mucho entertaining.

Earthling, choosing between a lift-and-push-together or support-and-separate bra depends on the postioning of one’s breasts and the desired look one is aiming for. High Profile breasts are a bosom that is naturally higher, centered and perky. Moderate Profile breasts are a bosom that is not saggy, but lower and more to each side.

Make that ‘positioning.’