Flame me for abusing a forum for intelligent discussion but I am at my wit’s end. They just installed Office 97 at work and that grinning paper clip is driving me nuts. Any hints for disabling him – permanently?
As well, can anyone explain to me how this (the cartoon) is an improvement from Word 95?
You can ask the paper clip, “how do I get rid of that stupid office assistant?” It will tell you this:
Get Help without the Office Assistant
· On the Help menu, click Contents and Index.
Tip To display Help without the Office Assistant when you press F1, click Options. (If the Options button is not visible, click the Assistant, and then click Options.) On the Options tab, clear the Respond to F1 key check box.
As far as I can tell, it doesn’t work. But hey, at least it’s not Bob.
Sound like something a “Rockford Files” villian would say…
“he time cas come to disable him…PERMINENTLY!”
Thanks for the idea, Ink. Maybe if I just backed the thing over with my gold Trans Am…
Upgrade to Office 2000. There’s a lovely little check box in the “Options” settings for the Office Assistant labelled “Use the Office Assistant.” Once unchecked, the Office Assistant will happily disappear forever.
One presumes that Microsoft, tired of zillions of phone calls threatening physical harm if they didn’t get rid of that paper clip, decided to make it easier to get rid of him. I did manage to kill it permanently in Office 97, but I forget now how I did it.
I do not know, I sort of like the paper clip and his companions, they are like pets, and it is the most convienent way to get to the written question help search tool.
There is no safety for honest men but by believing all possible evil of evil men.
–Edmund Burke
Companions? What do you mean companions? What other horrors lurk in Office 97?
You can replace him with an Einstein clone, a dinosaur, or several other options. All of which are equally evil.
You’re kidding me. Right?
Sadly, no, Mojo is not kidding. You need the Office 97 CD though - only Clippit is installed by default. The others all have the potential to be far, far more annoying than Clippit. There’s a stupid ball, a stupider robot, the aforementioned Einstein clone, a dumb-looking cat and a moronic dog. Worse yet, each has a “personality.”
Actually, wasn’t Clippit permanently mangled and removed in an MS presentation earlier this year when they introduced Office2000? (I know that the ‘companions’ were not removed, but I thought Clippit was.)
>>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry…unless the other guy is bigger than you.<<
—The dragon observes
Hey, I kinda like the Mother Earth thingie!
My WAG is that Microsoft thinks the average user is not quite as smart as a paper clip.
I sadly ratify all of the above. As hideous as it is, yes, basic help got “cutsie-pied” into Einstein et al. I finally slew that (@^&^* paper clip, but it was in a fugue state so I don’t remember how it was done.
As I recall, it involved a lot of really vile cursing, but no Trans Am. But whatever works. Got a Humvee??
A hammer may have been involved though.
A nontechincal reply, but I’d suggest just cussing a blue streak.
Abominates talking office supplies,
Veb
In the directory where you installed Office, you should find a subdir called “Actors”. This will contain at least one file, CLIPPIT.ACT; if other assistants are installed, their files will be there too.
To kill the assistant, delete all files in the Actors subdirectory.
<font color="#000000"><font size=+1>Sing along time:</font></font>
<font color="#000000"><font size=+1></font></font> <font color="#660000"><font size=+1></font></font>
<font color="#660000"><font size=+1>Clip-it, the paper clip</font></font>
<font color="#660000"><font size=+1>The friendliest clip you know.</font></font>
<font color="#660000"><font size=+1>The techies might look
at him with fright,</font></font>
<font color="#660000"><font size=+1>But the newbies all love him
so.</font></font>**<font color="#660000"><font size=+1></font></font>
<font color="#660000"><font size=+1>He always says hello</font></font>
<font color="#660000"><font size=+1>And he’s really glad to meet
ya’</font></font>
<font color="#660000"><font size=+1>Wherever you may go,</font></font>
<font color="#660000"><font size=+1>He’ll chime to every freakin’
feature</font></font>**<font color="#660000"><font size=+1></font></font>
<font color="#660000"><font size=+1>Tech - ies don’t understand,</font></font>
<font color="#660000"><font size=+1>Why Redmond loves him the most,</font></font>
<font color="#660000"><font size=+1>But they all know that he’s
gotta go,</font></font>
<font color="#660000"><font size=+1>Clipit the cutesy host!</font></font>
<font color="#660000"><font size=+1></font></font> <font color="#660000"><font size=+1></font></font>
<font color="#000000"><font size=+2>An electonic h-h-h-h-host!!</font></font>
Check this out:
http://www.zdnet.com/zdhelp/stories/main/0,5594,2226725-1,00.html
It tells several ways to kill Clippy.
Not for nothing, but… you DO realize that if you delete those files, and little Actor things, two things will happen to you.
The next time you sign onto the Internet, using Internet Explorer, Microsoft will KNOW that you have deleted those Actors. They will reinstall the icons, and make them UNremoveable.
The Screen Actors Guild will ALSO know that you have deleted the icons. Not only will they be very angry with you, but the odds are long that you will be permitted to stand in line at TKTS in Times Square for half-price tickets for Les Mis ( I don’t know that Les Mis is WORTH standing in line, but to you, it might be).
A suggestion? Don’t DELETE the icons, but…REPLACE them. How cool, to have ( instead of the aforementioned Clip) a small shot of Fido, the dog. Or, Mr. Spock (r). Whatever. The point is, that icons are like soundwaves, you can replace one with another, leave the name the same, and therefore customize out the wazoo.
I remain, your idle…Typer 
" If you wanna kiss the sky, you’d better learn how to kneel ".
Run for the hills, folks! Or you’ll be up to your armpits in martians!
Typer,
How exactly do you go about replacing those icons? I went into that directory, found a file called “rocky.acs” (the dog one). I had a jpg file on my drive called “brady.jpg”, which I copied into the office directory and changed the filename to “brady.acs”. No dice- I got an error about the helper function upon starting Word. Any ideas??
Run for the hills, folks! Or you’ll be up to your armpits in martians!
typertrphy, understand that I say this with the utmost respect: you are wrong. Completely effing wrong. Here’s a nickel, come back when you’ve bought yourself a clue. Your remark about the Screen Actors Guild makes me suspect that you’re joking, but if that’s the case, don’t put forth “humor” as fact.
Zette, ignore everything that Typer said, and just delete the files I mentioned. The actor files are in a special format, and cannot be replaced with ordinary image files.
The only time the actor files will be replaced is if you install a new Office application, or reinstall an existing one. That will explicitly replace the files in that directory. Other than that, there is no circumstance in which the files will reappear.
Laugh hard; it’s a long way to the bank.