Close encounters with vanity.

The wife of my husbands best friend never goes out in public without her makeup. Once, her husband was being attacked by his kidney stones. While he was rolling in the floor from the severe pain, she had to put on her makeup before taking him to the E.R.

I worked with a woman whose brother tried to kill himself because he found out he needed glasses and wouldn’t be able to wear contacts.


Were I to worry too much about things like this, I’d never get out of my house!

“The wife of my husbands best friend never goes out in public without her makeup.”

—I think I had to parse that sentence once in high school French class . . .

I thought I bumped into her at the mall once, but it was Apollonia instead.


Here’s my brush with it:

My boyfriend cut himself with a saw in the garage. He ended up fainting twice. I ended up calling 911.

As the paramedics were arriving, I realized what I was wearing: a long-sleeved T-shirt and what I affectionately call my “clown pants” - men’s PJ bottoms that are about 5 sizes too big, and are dark blue plaid. I was a bit horrified.

When they were checking him out, I made a remark about my pants. The head paramedic replied “well, you probably weren’t expecting company, were you? You look real comfortable, though.”

Rest assured I changed before following the rig to the ER.

I know a woman (sounds like billhilly ween) who posts about licking buttholes and complains to Mods when people mock her.

-Grow up, creep-

I don’t wear make-up on the weekend, unless we go out at night, but I’m much too vain to not wear any to work.

I don’t wear makeup very often at all; I wear glasses (also can’t wear contacts); I hang around in comfortable clothes at all times. I’m not sure I have any vanity at all. Well, I do brush my teeth, shower, and attempt to wear clean clothes. I guess I must have some.

At every race I’ve done, there’s always at least one woman there in full makeup. Foundation, powder, eyeliner, shadow, mascara, blush, lipliner, and lipstick.
They’re about to run (& sweat) - for at least 20 minutes, most likely more. And still, they’re fully made up.
I so don’t get that.

Uh, I think I just had one: my post in this thread.

Maaaany years ago when I was a young teenager, my mother, her girl-friend and I went camping to a very out-of-the-way National Park. It was 80km to the nearest store, and the only other occupants of the camping area were kangaroos, wombats and platypus’ in the river. (it was off-season).
Well, the friend had a bit of a vanity issue, because she WOULD NOT COME OUT OF HER TENT IN THE MORNINGS without 1/2" of make-up plastered on her face, and enough Maybelline on her lashes(Hi Deeward!) to fill in the asphalt cracks on a busy freeway. We ribbed her unmercifully, but it didn’t have any effect. And only once in the intervening 25 years or so have I seen her sans make-up. Funnily enough, I didn’t recognise her!

I work in a print shop. (You know, Durer, Rembrant. That sort of print shop. ) You dont think about pretty when you are working in ninety degree weather w/ eighty percent humidity over a hot plate in a shop that used to be a mechanic’s garage with NO AC. What, with the heat and various poisonous gases it is realy horrifyingly gross in there. Yet, still… there is this girl, i call her stonebreaker (I honestly couldnt remember her real name for a whole year even though she told me twice.) Stonebreaker… because she managed to shatter a litho stone her first day in the shop. She was carrying a fifty pound stone in the manner most conducive to dropping it because (!!!) *she was in the bathroom re-applying her make up * during the instructor’s disscusion on how to behave in the shop. She kept leaving the class every ten minutes to check her f**ing makeup. i am not exaggerating either. I have seen her in the shop, slaving away on prints that could go somewhere if she would just stop worrying so much about her FACE and CLOTHES. she dropped that stone because it never even occured to her to lock that baby in against her waist and support it with her full forarms for fear of marking up her precious sweater. I have seen all sorts of disturbing accidents stem from her vanity. she wears full mask of makeup at all times(im talking tarantula eyes and foundation that is four shades lighter than her actual skin tone.). Much to my chagrin my good friend here is a roomate of her boyfriends and ive seen her wear that stuff to bed.
Those times when she talks to me she shows herself to be small, petty and apparently without the power to form an educated opinion. This girl has given me enough brushes with vanity to last untill i graduate.

I won’t be seen in public without my makeup.

As a matter of fact, my SO and family are the only people to see me without it.

I also don’t do activities or work jobs which would regularly make me sweat off/mess up my face. Of course, my stuff is long-wearing, so I don’t have to frequently disappear to reapply it throughout the day.

I have gone out a couple of times with less makeup on, but that is extremely rare.

I win!

Oh yeah…I usually wear it to bed, mostly because I’m too lazy to clean it off. If I sleep four hours or less, I’ll wake up without it being messed up at all. Years of training, my friend.