C'mon people, let's come up with better insults!

For the, I believe, 300th time, Manny has been accused of clinging to an outdated and immoral ideology ( manhattan a nazi
At this point, I think every mod or admin has been accused of being a Nazi or a Commie at least 12 times. Newsflash to you trolls, morons, and assorted cretins - THERE ARE OTHER INSULTS.

C’mon, it’s easy. Try thread titles like -
Coldfire, you’re a pederast;
Manny can’t walk and chew gum at the same time;
Is it just me, or is Czarcasm an ineffective masturbator?
TVeblen spanks little boys’ bottoms!! (er wait, that one might be true)
Tubadiva blows!!!

I realize that originality requires two brain cells to rub together, but at least try, for our sakes.

Thank you, and good day,

A friend of mine works at a grade school. One day he heard a kid out in the hall say, “Yo mama!” My friend leapt over his desk, ran out into the hall, accosted the insulter, and said, “That was lame. If you’re going to insult somebody, if you’re going to risk getting kicked out of school for saying something bad, make it count. Show us that you actually care about the quality of your insult. ‘Yo mama’ is a lame insult.”

A few days later, he heard, “You know, you haven’t the brains of a flea.”

He called out, “Yes! Like that! Only not in my school!”

Or perhaps we could tailor the insults to the mod. Something creative about NYC for Manny, ridicule the sousaphone for Tubadiva, bust on beer for Unc . . .

And for Coldfire:

Stop het in je nauwe gaatje, apenaaier.
Heh heh heh . . .

[sub](gawd I hope I didn’t fuck that up)[/sub]

I have heard that in some Central American areas you can be killed for saying ‘milk’. That is, ‘leche’, when spoken with the right gutteral sneer, may be taken to mean:

I piss in the milk you drink from your mother.

Got leche?

Why yes, I was recently thinking the same thing. The lack of creativity in recent spats has been particularly troublesome to me. But what can we do? We’re busy folks and have not the time to waste coming up with some clever thing to call the latest nimrod who has dared to cross our path. But are we to then just let down our readers? Our lurkers who hang upon every word we type for some hope of amusement? I think not!

So I’ve been contemplating an insult formula. Something we could use quickly to dust off the low lives that aren’t worthy of a custom insult. Additionally I have great hope that my name will be attached to this effort in some way. After all, Opal has her lists! Why cannot I make an attempt at some lasting fame upon these boards? So I present Blacklaw’s insult formula. (Unless of course this attempt is later determined to be quite lame, in which case I would like another poster’s name attached to it. Let’s say, SuaSponte’s will do in such a case.)

So here it is:

Gross Noun + Sex Verb + Animal Noun

First off we need to select a noun. Blackclaw’s insult formula suggests that this noun be a gross. Preferably, a bodily fluid. For the purposes of example I choose Urine.

Now we need a verb, a bit of action. My formula dictates that this be a sexual action of some type. I know Felching is over used but I simply enjoy using it so I take it as my second choice.

Lastly we need another noun. The formula here says it must be an animal. I choose Dung beetle.

So we end up with a urine felching dung beetle. Not too shabby for a quick insult. And those of you that disagree are just blood licking warthogs anyway.

Vomit fucking pig.

Stale vomit fucking pig.

Stale vomit fucking pigs fuck your mother.

If I hear one more lame use of the word “felch…”

What is interesting to me is how the culture of the SDMB seems to have this one, overriding unwritten rule: insult, but in a detached way. Don’t hit too close to home.

I almost never see people being insulted about the number of hours they obviously spend here and how this might indicate the lack of a social life. About how Science Fiction isn’t considered very cool. People aren’t even made fun of for being rather old virgins–after they choose to admit this fact on the boards (never understood that move)!

People just don’t really use the ammunition provided. I think “nerd” is the only really dirty word on these boards. So we’re stuck with all these pathetic “lick my ass” commands over and over again.

If the Pit were really hardcore, folks would be using actual insults. Things might actually be interesting. Making shit up is childish. If you’re really pissed at somebody, have the balls to say something meaty.

Well . . .

Can’t do it without reeking of hypocrisy.

It’s not an insult. For the most part, those of us who like SF have been called much worse things than “not cool.” Fuck cool. Cool is for schoolchildren.

Er, no shit? Perhaps because it’s (again) not an insult?

Believe it or not actual insults do get slung here in the pit. You’ve just been missing the hot threads where folks really are upset with each other.

You miss my point entirely. My formula isn’t for when you are really pissed at somebody. It’s for occasions when an irritating little rodent comes along and we don’t really wish to expend energy upon it because it’s not worth the effort. And if you weren’t a mud felching kangaroo rat you would have realized this.

In my opinion, I never get pissed at people here. I get pissed at what some anonymous person that I have never met and don’t know has typed and posted on a public message board. Maybe the reason that people don’t use real insults here is because this isn’t a real environment with real people in it; I don’t expend the same level of emotion here that I do in my real life.


That should be “Manny can’t fart and chew gun at the same time”, which is what the quote originally was (before it was dumbed down for mid-century America).


Believe it or not, jackass, there’s a limit on what we can say even in the Pit. Excessive, personal insults are often “over the line”. Slinging up shit from a person’s personal life is an utter no-no… we’re to call people on what they do and/or say on the Boards, nothing more.

Of course, if you spent a little more time on the Boards (as opposed to being jealous of people who have more than five minutes free each day), you’d know this.

For the lazy pit-dweller


Hey, Hodge. Great site. You half-faced whey-faced hedgehog.

A spray of Grolsch hits a Panasonic 17", obviously not designed for this purpose…

Sweet thundering FUCK andros, where’d you find THAT??? Hilarious! Uncommon, but hilarious!

For those not fluent at Dutch: “Stuff it in your tiny (arse)hole, monkey fucker”. :smiley:


It was either that or "Houd je rotsmoel, rukker."
But “apenaaier” has such a ring to it.


Accept no substitutes.

I think I made an effort in regards to the OP in this pit post.

To quote:

I do belive the art of violent insults is lost. To bad…

See mom? The internet IS a good thing, I promise. Why, today I even learned some Dutch! :smiley:

Several insults from the board have been incorporated into my workplace. We often do the clue dance to help ourselves get a clue,since none of our clients could get a clue during clue mating season if they danced naked in a field of horny clues wearing clue musk smeared on their bodies. And being asked to do anything may result in being asked to jump up our ass and bark. But these are generalities. True insults are highly individualized to maximize efectiveness. The worst insult I ever received had the tiniest grain of truth inserted, delivered from the person who knew me best, said to deliberately hurt me. Highly effective and I ended up divorcing him.