Co-Worker accused me of being racist...was he right?

Because we all live in a racist society. Everyone, including those who are the targets of racism as well as those who benefit, has a world view which is influenced by the racism embedded in our culture. Everyone. There is not a soul who can with absolute truth and self-knowledge say this is not true of them. Ascenray isn’t saying they are a racist. They are saying that we all must struggle against what is so pervasive in our culture, and the first place to confront is what is within ourselves.

Is it possible you simply do not understand this?

This is what Ascenray actually said

Which I believe one can still legitimately do whilst still taking care not to be bigoted, prejudiced or hateful ourselves.

Think of it another way. All humans and societies have a propensity for violence. I take care not to act that way myself and modify my behaviour yet I would still argue, legitimately, that I am not a violent person. If someone claimed I was, I would not agree with them.
Rinse and repeat the same logic for any accusation against me for any other form of bigotry or prejudice.
If it is only the potential for problematic behaviour that is in question here then the concept of “racism” etc becomes meaningless because all humans have the potential for every single type of problematic behaviour.
You yourself could then be legitimately be labelled homophobic, transphobic, mysogynistic, racist, sectarian…etc.etc. As could I, as could every single person in this thread and on this board.

Except it isn’t. At least, it isn’t the whole of it.

Perhaps this is mere semantics. Per your example, violence – it is more accurate to say that all humans and societies have the capacity for violence. Not the propensity; there are large swathes of the population who not only never will be violent but have no inclination toward it either. There is nothing they need repress or control, they don’t need to be aware of their ‘propensity’ because they don’t have one. You could say that given sufficient extremity – their child being attacked by a wolf or something – the capacity to be violent might be awakened. But for practical purposes they can’t be described as latently violent.

That’s quite untrue of racism, which infects everyone willy nilly. Everyone is “racist” in that our cultural racism is inescapably part of us. How this manifests in the world is the subject of self-examination from which no one is morally exempt.

There are several aspects of your posts in this thread which argue a certain amount of bad faith. One, failing to see the very distinct difference between calling out racist behavior or speech and calling someone a racist. Two, strongly objecting to you (or the OP, or anyone who may naively exhibit racist behavior) being labeled as a racist, when no one has in fact done so, Three, making false, exaggerated claims about the awful fates of those who might be called out for racist speech or action. All of these are typical tropes for those who feel defensive about, yes, their racist attitudes. Whether you yourself manifest those is not what I am saying, only that if you don’t want to be associated in other’s minds with racists, you might question why you are using their arguments.

You claim. I don’t find your claim convincing.

Really? I am consistent, careful with my words, I hold others to what they say rather than what I interpret them as saying. If you can quote a “bad faith” argument that I’ve made I’d be happy to clarify.

My response to Ascenray was specifically related to that difference. You’ll note that they themeselves failed to make that distinction.

I never claimed that anyone in the thread has done that to me specifically but it absolutely is pretty standard practice more widely to elide the two concepts. Firstly the assumption is made that because someone finds something to be racist, it must be, and then that the person accused of that action can legitimately be called a racist.
If you don’t think that happens then I cannot believe we are inhabiting the same planet.

That’s flat out fabrication. quote me where I make such “false, exaggerated claims” about “awful fates”

Ironic that you brought up “bad faith” argument.

The replies above address this issue fairly well. I’ll just add that a person who thinks that E can possibly be free if the taint of racist attitudes, assumptions, unconscious prejudices, and that es actions and words can’t possibly have a racist affect in the world or in the people around em, that person cannot possibly be doing enough self-examination to be fighting racism. Indeed, that person who walks around comforting emself with the idea that “I am not a racist” is more likely than not saying and doing things that have a racist impact.

We live in a society absolutely bathed in racism. To declare oneself racism free takes a degree of self-delusion.

The correct attitude I’m should be “I try not to be racist” and that goes hand in hand with listening to people when they say things like in the OP and not taking that opportunity to quibble about the definition of racism.

Clue: if you need to insist on a narrow definition of racism and then declare yourself innocent if it, you’re probably not as free of racism as you think you are.

This is virtually the same argument made about false accusations of sexual harassment, abuse, rape, is it not? Do you have a similar sense of grievance about that as well?

If an accusation is made about sexual harrassment, abuse and rape I do not automatically assume it is correct.

Do you?

You’ve proved my point precisely.

Only the true messiah would deny his divinity.

No, but I weigh my conclusion based on what I know about the power imbalance that in inherent in such claims. Do you?

Exactly!

I myself don’t get sick, because germs don’t dare enter my body. Somebody once told me that my denial of my mortality made it likelier that I would get sick, because I refuse to take basic hygiene measures. I made fun of them in just this way: if I say I never get sick, you say it makes me likelier to get sick! It’s a no-win situation.

Because folks sometimes, uh, struggle with analogies, here’s the cheat sheet:

  • Racism, like germs, permeates our air, although “air” is metaphorical in the case of racism.
  • We are all susceptible to racist thoughts, just like we are all susceptible to viral infections.
  • Denying our own susceptibility to racist thoughts is as unrealistic as denying our own susceptibility to germ-based illnesses.
  • Engaging in the fantasy about “I’m not a racist” hinders our ability to protect ourselves from racist thoughts, in the same way that indulging the “I don’t get sick” fantasy hinders our ability to protect ourselves from infection.
  • Treating this approach to racism like some sort of catch-22 is as stupid as treating this approach to germ theory as a catch-22.

I’m South African, definitely haven’t spent thirteen years in the US, and yet I’m perfectly aware of that particular cultural nuance. This kind of shit is hardly the Enigma code to crack - you really can’t get the same caliber of Nazi anymore.

Of course not.

Highly amusing.

Of course I already stated that that is not the approach that I take and that I do indeed take the analogous “hygiene measures” regarding all the abberant human behaviours that we seek to avoid.

Because I’m a human I have the potential to be bigoted or prejudicial in a million different ways, but I take care not to be, so I’m not.

On that basis I can no more accurately be accused of being a racist than I could be accused of being a homophobe, misogynist or anything similar.

I can agree with you here.

Is that an insinuation that I can accurately be accused of all of those things and you are being deliberately opaque?

Good luck trying to bait people into drawing a warning from stating the obvious in IMHO.

I didn’t realise that asking people to say what they actually mean is quite so controversial.
Why would a warning follow from my request for clarification?

Still not rising to the bait.

What “bait” are you talking about?

A pitting? well of course. Why explain yourself if it is inconvenient to do so?