Coal fired power plants

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Anthracite, and any others who took the Power Plant bait: anyone close to the gay and lesbian community, I’m seeking your advice.

A really nice lesbian couple recently moved in next door. We get along well, but I get really nervous speaking with them. (Actually, ALL beautiful women make me nervous, and I get giggly like a schoolboy) I’m so terribly afraid I’ll say or do something offensive without even knowing it.

Since I’ve never been exposed to an alternative or non-traditional lifestyle like my neighbors enjoy, I’m ignorant of any particular sensitivities they might have. And since we will likely be neighbors for many years to come, I certainly wish to start things out well instead of spending years patching up the damage.

So for starters, what words should I omit from my speech? And topics of conversation?

2

OK, I fell for it. I’ll post a legit answer later, I was running out the door when I saw this.

3

I know you might be looking for a better answer than this, but…

Same-sex couples are as different as opposite-sex couples. What they will or will not be offended by should have nothing to do with the fact that they’re gay. Personally, I’ll discuss most things with most people with no problems. However, there are a few common conversation starters that you might want to avoid:

  1. Can I watch?

  2. How does it feel to know you’re going to hell?

  3. No really, can I watch?

You see, if someone asked you and your girlfriend/wife those questions you’ld be offended as well. However, since you seem like you are a nice guy honestly concerned about this, I’ll stop teasing now.

It is true that some lesbian couples or lesbians have a chip on their respective shoulders. Often this comes from a bad experience with acceptance or lack thereof from family, friends, co-workers, schoolmates, etc. Some women like to super-identify themselves as “butch”, and go out of their way to antagonize people in an activist way. Often this is a reaction strong women take when they do not get support from their family and friends, and thus they look to anger and confrontation as a way to get them through the hurt. Mind you, I’m talking about attitude, not dress.

Myself, you could think of me as what is sometimes referred to as a “lipstick lesbian”. I’m extremely stubborn, and don’t let myself be pushed around by anyone, but I’m also very quiet about it and am very feminine. A favorite grandpa used to call me his “little mule” because I was so stubborn. I have few male friends, because they have treated me and my SO at the time in a way that they would never have treated any other couple, little comments like - “So, are you in to Ellen or ESPN?” - crap like that is uncalled for. BUT, a male friend who I’ve had for 10 years could make a comment like that and I’d just laugh. It all depends.

Most lesbian couples I meet just want people to treat them absolutely normally, or else just leave them alone. I think the same original rules for this board, that is “don’t be a jerk” just apply. If you’re already getting along well with them, I don’t see what your concern would be. If you want to invite them to a social occaision for the first time, make sure that there are other people you know in common, or a decent sized group of other people. Some lesbian couples (especially if they are attractive and not shy to show affection in public) get hit on quite a bit by young men, so inviting them to a “special dinner” with just you might raise their eyebrows until you know each other better.

I don’t think I’ve answered your question, because it’s not an easy one to answer. Maybe NTG (or pepperlandgirl, my lesbian slave in training) or someone else out there could contribute something…?

4

You answered several questions I hadn’t even thought of yet. Thanks.

I’m still curious about some words though. Is “gay” a gender-neutral term, or does it refer to men only?

And I’ve always been kind of uneasy about “lesbian”. To me, the word sounds like an accusation or an affliction; carrying with it an undertone of disapproval.

And “dyke” doesn’t sound very positive. I’ve always heard the word in more of a derogatory context, so I probably won’t want to use it.

I wouldn’t DARE ask them to watch! Yet, if I were invited to watch…

But going to hell? Wow. That is some pretty heavy shit. They are new to the area and revealed some concern about acceptance, and closed-minded people. But HELL? It doesn’t surprise me that people can be judgemental, but that is hate like I’ve never seen. Personally, I’m just happy they have found love in their life.

I guess my charming, shy and giggly school-boy demeanor will work just fine. I’ve just got to keep my filthy little mind to my self.

Thanks again for your insight.

5

I like the word lesbian - it’s not offensive and it’s unambiguous. I sometimes use gay though. And while some women will like to refer to themselves as “dykes”, “bulldykes”, “ironclad flaming dykes”, etc. once again I think that is just part of the butch attitude, and most lesbians find it an offensive word. It’s sort of like when blacks refer to themselves or other blacks with the “N” word - they can do it, but you better not!

But if you want to think about it some more - when you talk about other couples that you know, do you refer to them as “Dick and Cathy, the straight couple”? If your neighbor’s lifestyle does not offend your beliefs, and you want to make an honest effort to be accepting, then try not to think in terms of straight or gay or lesbian or whatever. And I know it’s difficult for a lot of straight people, because of society and upbringing. Because of that I never find fault with people who are just uncomfortable - not hateful. If your neighbors aren’t total creeps or aren’t carrying a 2-ton chip on their shoulders they’ll recognize and reciprocate an honest effort to be friends. Just think of them as a couple - not straight, not gay. I suppose “girlfriends” would work also for me, although some few lesbians object to it because it “marginalizes our relationship” (quote from a past love). And you wouldn’t believe what she thought was music! Oh wait, wrong thread. Sorry.

You ever wonder why men are so interested in lesbian erotica and watching or looking at pictures of lesbian sex? Here’s my speculation, based on years of informal, undirected, non-academic research.

Men sometimes want to be feminine, but not with another man. Those who are interested deeply in this would really like to experience what it would be like to be a woman, to have the gentler, softer lifestyle - but they are definitely not gay. Lesbian erotica satsifies that urge, where a man can picture himself still loving women, but trying on the veil of femininity while doing so - wearing softer clothes, being gentler or even totally submissive in bed.

Anyways, that’s my opinion.