- Offensive is in the eye of the beholder. Billie Jean King recently said on the Colbert Report that she prefers “gay” to “lesbian.” She is lesbian, she is gay, she is a woman. Purely anecdotally, the gay women I know aren’t particularly fashed about it.
Generally speaking, however, calling someone “a lesbian” is roughly equivalent to calling someone “a gay” or “a Black.” It’s dehumanizing, identifying someone not as a person but as a label. So, yanno, avoid that.
- It’s not a contest, of course. I don’t think there’s any question that there exists more societal revulsion to male sexual contact than female. I cant speak to actual numbers, but it certainly seems that more men are turned on by seeing two women together than women are men. The ages-old societal messaging about masculinity and femininity is hard to shake, and we’re simply still much more accepting of seeing two women getting it on than two men.
But that’s about sex, not sexuality, and while male homosexuality is still repulsive to a lot of people, there is an inherent oppression in seeing women as sexual objects, even when it’s hawt. People might be repulsed by two men fucking, and turned on by two women fucking, but the objectification remains the same. And it says a lot that we persist in identifying/classifying both men and women by how they fuck instead of who they are.
Who has it harder? Dunno. Maybe, arguably, gay men. But it’s all part of the same set of problems, and I can’t see that the question really matters in a broad sense.
3. People often do not get along. Stereotypes might sometimes have a basis in fact, but they are rarely correct.
We could as easily ask if there really is a bias among both gay men and women against bisexual people. Maybe, sometimes, on occasion. I’ve experienced it, particularly when I was younger. And when I was younger I inflated it through some really astounding confirmation bias into something much bigger than it was. Sure, there are gay people out there who are contemptuous of bi people. There are gay men who automatically dislike gay women and vice versa. But not all, and not most. Maybe not even many.
People are assholes a lot of the time. The LGBT community is not exempt. But no, there is no active, universal dislike or difficulty getting along.