Cold November Pain (Monthly Mini-Rants)

Just spent 3 hours cleaning/snaking out the kitchen drain. Ugh.

I’m rooting for you.

I am really bummed right now. We were going to see family for Thanksgiving, family we haven’t been able to seen under good circumstances in like 3 years. But COVID, the unrelenting force it is, has caused plans to be canceled. My husband’s cousin is sick so his whole side of the family has been exposed. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up.

My dad’s health is declining - fast. My dad fell last night and finally my step mother realized she can’t do everything she’s doing on her own and stay healthy physically and mentally. She needs help paying for his care. I don’t like it, but that’s not my rant. Today’s rant is brought to you by my brother in law. Every time something happens in the family, he calls in the middle of my goddamn workday to “talk” about it, which is code for gossip about my family, talk about how mean my sister is and how obviously inferior we are as a family compared to his.

What I have told him (only in a far more diplomatic manner):

  1. I need to not talk to people for a while after these things happen so I can process them, you giant douchebag. That’s why I don’t answer your calls after something happens. I don’t want to participate in trash talk about my family. Shocking, right?

  2. On that note, have a little fucking loyalty to my sister and don’t expect me to participate in your armchair psychologist sessions, especially those pertaining to my sister. Find a therapist.

  3. How the hell do you even have time to call me? Aren’t you working? Stop texting me and asking me to talk.

  4. How nice for you that you grew up in such a colorful, emotional family. I didn’t. If you don’t comment on that, I won’t remind you that your mom literally moved across the country one day without telling you while you were in high school. (Okay, I’ve never actually said that, diplomatically or not.)

Most of all, what I wish I could say is…
I don’t like you. I tolerate you. If my sister didn’t love you, I’d finally admit that I let all your calls go to voicemail because every time I see your phone number I start dropping f-bombs. Want to know why? You constantly compare me and my husband to yourself and find us lacking and actually have the gall to say so. You literally told me we’re bad parents for disciplining our kids and that my sister - your wife - and I are doormats for agreeing to support our parents financially as they age. No, it wasn’t my preference to support them, but if I have the means to help them stay afloat without damaging my own finances, I will and that’s none of your damn business, thanks. I wish you would go fuck yourself.

A friend is going through breast cancer treatment and started losing her hair. People were sending her scarves and toys and such and she posted each that she got. I knit her a hat in hot pink and black and dropped by her house. She posted a picture of it and said how nice and soft it was.
Someone else purchased a plain generic pink hat (has some sort of label sewn on it,so clearly not hand made).
She wears the plain hat all the time in photos of her progress, which is several times a day. She never wears my hat.
My feelings are kind if hurt because I spent several days making the hat in my limited free time. I can’t say anything but it makes me sad. Thus is the second hat I made for someone that never wears it.
I of course can’t say anything as they were both gifts, I just wish I felt they appreciated the gifts. :frowning:

I don’t know what’s up with Fedex the last couple days but I’ve had two packages not show up and there are other people in the neighborhood complaining about the same thing.

It’s pretty clear when you contact them about mis-deliveries that they don’t give a flying fuck that your stuff is missing at best or they think you are lying about the item not being delivered correctly at worst (‘Our driver tells us he delivered it to the correct address!’ - yeah, right). I’m glad I already ordered and received everything I need to order for Christmas this year.

I just stopped being a Verizon customer today when they cut off our 3G service without warning. Yes, I knew it was coming, but they’d told us it wouldn’t happen until the end of NEXT year. Surprise! We never really got 4G service out where I live and now it’s all about 5G. Except not for us.

Awww, that sucks. I feel for ya. :frowning:

We woke up to a temperature of 58 degrees in the house last Thursday. We have a service plan, which eventually showed up and in a few minutes with his CO monitor let us know the heat exchanger was cracked, and needs to be replaced. The furnace is 18 years old, which is close to end of expected life.

Our new $6000 furnace is getting installed tomorrow.

In the meantime, we have a decorative gas fireplace which is doing OK with keeping the house from getting too chilly, and the furnace company lent us a couple space heaters, so we’re not freezing during the past few days with overnight lows in the teens. Oh! the joys of winter in Minnesota!

Everything seems to be happening this month. We needed plumbing repairs after the kitchen tap suddenly started spurting water out of the base when turned on. The car needed a new water pump after the engine started overheating on the way home (pushed the OnStar button and had a tow truck within 45 minutes!). The province finally got around to processing all the driver’s licence and registration renewals put on hold last year because of COVID. We can afford all these, although I may need to dip into a savings account, but its still a significant chunk of change to hit all in the same month. On the good side, my furnace guy just left after giving the furnace a thumbs up for another year.

Last (and probably least) a game I ordered was dispatched from California via UPS on Nov 3, with an expected delivery date of Nov 5 (pretty fast - 2 days from California to Ottawa, Canada). It didn’t show up, and when I checked the UPS tracking info the expected delivery date had changed to “No information available”. Nov 18 I got an email from UPS saying that the package had been misdirected and delivery would be delayed. I went to the tracking info and the detailed info showed it had been in Ottawa on the 5th, and the next entry showed it in Australia on the 16th! It had moved to S. Korea by the 22nd, and they’re now promising delivery tomorrow. We’ll see.

This is why I only make stuff for myself now. :frowning:

Hats are really tricky things. My head is (apparently) too large, and most hats gradually creep upward to the point that they blow off in the slightest breeze. My sister loves the look of hats, but for some reason hats make her head impossibly hot. She has to wear earmuffs with no hat all winter or she ends up sweating through her hair before she can even get to work. Some else I know finds some hats simply press on her hair in the wrong places, making it pouf out funny in a way she hates.

It’s probably not your crocheting, it’s just that the hat doesn’t fit comfortably for long periods on a head of her particular shape. Still a shame, of course, not a deliberate snub or something.

Fuckity fuckity fuck. The handle on my KitchenAid food processor broke tonight. No big deal…it’s just the bowl, right? Pretty easy to replace.

Nope…can’t find it for less than $52. :rage: It’s stupid to throw out the entire thing just because the bowl is broken.

Just brushed up on quantum mechanics and now am about to play with the wave function which represents my dog by throwing the wave function which represents the wave function’s favorite ball.

Fun times!

I can’t wear anything that is itchy. People have given me all manner of toques n’ such and I’ll try them on for a minute and be hideously itchy. I wear ball caps mostly.

I can’t stand wearing any kind of hat whatsoever. If need be, I pull up the hood on my winter coat.

I will be glad for jan 15th,


I should be happy now, but instead I’m deeply pissed off.

I detailed my brush with bladder cancer here a couple of years ago. They cut it out, gave me a couple of acetaminophen, sent me on my way - remarkably straightforward. The catch? On three occasions over the next two years, under local anaesthetic, they shove a camera up your cock by way of a checkup for possible recurrence. It goes without saying that this is a hideous experience. Today was, finally, the third and last of these occasions.

When it was finally over… “No cancer!” said the doctor, “See you next year!”

I processed this in two separate chunks. Yay, healthy! Wait, what?

“I hope not”, I said.

Fuck it, they’ve changed the protocol or changed their minds or something. Because of the size of the cancer they cut out, it turns out I’m on five year follow up, and I’ll be doing this annually until fall of 2024.

Yeah. I am deeply pissed off right now.


That is probably quite literally balls, I’m sorry. Medical procedures are no fun, but I do hope they at least help you to stay healthy.

Just found out my estranged mother called my husband last week, he was kind of sitting on it until we got to my Aunt’s house. She left an extended, mostly nonsensical message that was kind of a non-apology laced with subtle guilt tripping. He said he’s not going to respond. I guess she did this after my grandmother blocked her. God, my grandmother had a crying breakdown talking about how pushed to the limit she is with my mother. She said her health has been failing because of the stress. She’s been swallowing my mother’s abusive BS for years and just can’t take it any more. So it was just me and my Aunt holding my crying grandmother, and this is the wreckage my mother left behind. It’s terribly sad that my mother now has no contact with her daughter, sister, or mother, and the three of us are having this wonderful Thanksgiving break together, without her. It must feel horrible. But I don’t see an alternative. It sucks, but we carry on.

Yeah, I know they’re looking after me. But I went in there thinking one last time and I’m done with this shit… and then…

I saw your much longer post about the saga of your mother. It all sounds awful - I don’t know what to say apart from, hang in there. All of you.


I’ll get over it. This is a tough time of year for me, but fortunately it’s almost over. I’m usually right as rain in December.

I was in a fairly busy downtown area tonight, the sort of area I rarely go to because I hate traffic congestion. But this was beyond anything I normally experience even at the worst of times. The last half-mile or so before the exit I needed took about half an hour. It was not stop-and-go traffic; it was mainly “stop”. As I finally got closer to the turnoff I could see a big glowing sign: “something - something - EXPECT DELAYS”. No shit, Sherlock!

Anyway, that’s not my rant. The slowest lane by far was the right lane, which was the only lane designated for the exit I needed, so I was in the right lane, seething with impatience. There were occasional assholes trying to cut in, with varying degrees of success. But when I finally got to the actual exit, where there was a physical divider and one lane exited while the others continued on, there was a super-asshole who had driven right up to the very limit of his lane, and was trying to cut in to the exit lane ahead of all the cars behind.

I had heard the blaring of car horns and I now saw what it was about. No one was letting him in. By the time I got to the turnoff point, the asshole was aggressively trying to cut in. I’m normally a very polite, defensive driver, and almost always let other cars in with a friendly flash of high-beams when they’re exiting a side street or something into busy traffic. In fact, so are most drivers in this town. But this was just too much. I saw the asshole aggressively trying to cut in, and I leaned on the horn and kept driving. Not the smartest thing to do according to driving school principles, but man, was I pissed! He backed off.

As I drove off down the exit, I heard more blaring car horns, and until I lost sight of the situation, he was still sitting there, still trying to cut in, and still failing! :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes: