Collunsbury--This is your thread

Ooops, I misunderstood the question: I don’t believe that there is any necessary connexion between ObL being handed over to the UN and EU rules. I would suppose that the ICC rules would be applicable, but I have never been much interested in the subject. I rather dislike the concept to be frank.

BTW, WTF is a “Collounsbury” anyhoo? I figured it must be some really clever pun, a historical reference, something.

Yahoo sez: Sorry, no matches on “Collounsbury”
Google sez: que? No habla “Collounsbury”.
Hotbot: finds the SDMB. Great.

(Hotbot also offered that one could “Search and bid on ‘Collounsbury’ at eBay!” biggirl, Caiata, take note.)

Ok, C, so what’s the story? Or has this been covered before? Or is it shamefully obvious to anyone in an Armani suit with a half-breed laptop?

It’s my name or a contraction thereof.

Now of course there are probably deeper symbolic meanings but you would have to be a real cheesemaker to find out.

Celestina, thanks for the translation!! You rock.
[sub]( Still trying to figure out if I was flirted earlier. In the pit. What would Mrs Squeegee say??! )[/sub]

[hijack (as if this thread would notice) ]:

Collounsbury: Regarding the translation: “what wish ye of me?” etc. Is translated Arabic really that flowery? Were you speak archaically, or was the translator giving your words a Koranic aura or something?

[/hijack]

Celestina’s translator is apparently a classicist. My original versions were both fairly colloquial. I then gave a standard/classical version which got translated. I myself wouldn’t translate that version in that manner. It’s quite correct, but a bit arch for my tastes. You could just as easily use more modern language. It’s an art, translation.

My original phrasing would have sounded in Arabic more like “Whaddya want from me?”

Ah. “arch” == “archaic”. I didn’t catch your meaning the first time around. Thanks.

The following is an English translation of a script from the popular telenovela Wings of Desire.

Scene: Biggirl is in the hottub in Collounsbury’s backyard, while Collounsbury is sitting in a lawn chair surrounded by books, a laptop, and a glass of gin and tonic.

Biggirl: Come on in here, you big stud. It’s getting cold without you…
Collounsbury: Leans over, turns up thermostat. Damn, woman, you know it ain’t easy being one of the smartest people on the planet. I gotta prepare for my Jeopardy Deathmatch against Cecil. Biggirl pouts. All right baby, I’m sorry, just give me a couple of minutes.

Enter Colibri, carrying a machete.

Colibri to Collounsbury: You’re the motherfucker I’ve been looking for! You think you can steal my girl from me!? I’m about to show you what’s what, fool!
Collounsbury to Colibri: You completely fail to amuse me, Colibri. Clearly, your lack of self-control and refinement indicates that you have lead an utterly unfulfilling life. I simultaneously pity and despise you. In German: Pigdog. In Arabic: Pustule of a camel’s bowel.* In Mandarin: Smelly foreign devil. In Lakota: You are that one completely useless part of the buffalo. Colibri looks stunned. Collounsbury idly sips from his gin and tonic.
Biggirl to both: Goddamn, would you two knock it off? I swear, if you get in a fight over me I’m gonna kick both your asses! Can’t you share the Biggirl love?
Colibri to Biggirl: But I don’t wanna share! I had you first! I’m telling my mommy!! Stamps foot.

Enter JillGat the Valkyrie, carrying a Danish war axe.

JillGat to audience, in Danish: Ooh, looks like a battle is brewing. Perhaps there will be a hero worthy of the great hall of Valhalla. I shall not reveal myself to the mortals yet…

Enter celestina.

celestina to all: People, there’s no need for all this! Y’all need to climb in the hot tub and chill, uh, or something. Climbs in. Colibri, Collounsbury, come on, put your shit down and get in here. Collounsbury shrugs and gets in.
Biggirl to celestina: You go girl!
celestina to Biggirl: I know. To Colibri: At ease, soldier! For god’s sake put that thing down already! Colibri looks uneasy. To Biggirl: Why do you even like this guy? He’s a little weird. Colibri puts down the machete and gets in with a hesitant smile. Ah, that’s better. Now, both you big sexy hunks get over here and give me a massage.
JillGat to audience, in Danish: Oh Hel, looks like there’s not gonna be any warfare here today. I’ll have to go look for some other lovers’ spat I suppose. Shit, there goes my weekend.

End Credits.

[sub]Wings of Desire is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. [/sub]

The mellifluous utterances of Sarcophilus harisii are pancultural.


JillGat said:
"Que lastima* que no tengo cojones, pero ya quiero una cervesa con ustedes todavia!

(Lastima o no?) - Jill"


Pobrecita. ?Estas seguro que no tengas cojones? “Tener cojones” es un dicho coloquial. Significa que tu no eres pendeja. Pero, si puedes hablar el espanol, tu lo entiendes. Pues, si tienes cojones o no, quereria comprarte una cerveza. :smiley:


squeegee said:
“Celestina, thanks for the translation!! You rock.
( Still trying to figure out if I was flirted earlier. In the pit. What would Mrs Squeegee say??! )”


You’re welcome for the translation, although it looks like Collounsbury’s not really satisfied with it after all. [sigh] I tried. You asked me if I flirted with you earlier. Oh dear. No matter what I say, I might be in trouble now. :smiley: Well, squeegee, not really. Let me explain. I think your name, your teasing, playful actions in this thread, and your almost hero-worshiplike curiosity (Don’t worry. I have these symptoms too. I think most of the folks in this thread do also to a degree.) about Collounsbury are just so cute. All of that gave me the impression you’re a youngun who looks up to Collounsbury, and it made me feel a little maternal. So you know how some women just go over to kids and pinch their cheeks when they think they’re cute? That’s what it was. But I wanted to take the sting out of virtually pinching your cheek by virtually kissing the place I’d pinched. So now you’re probably insulted that I thought you’re acting like a youngun, and Mrs. Squeegee, if she’s reading this, is probably still very suspicious of just what my intentions are towards her hubby. Don’t get me wrong. I like to flirt, but I don’t mess with married men if I can help it.

Collounsbury, I’m sorry if you’re not satisfied with the translation. I emailed it to you, and when I saw you invite me to share it in this thread, I thought you’d seen it and approved it as it was.

sturmhauke, you rock! That is the funniest damn thing I’ve read in awhile, and I will treasure it always! Gosh, now I’m a virtual telenovela star. [celestina floating on cloud nine] You’re now on my list of folks whom I’d like to buy a beer if I ever meet you IRL. My, at this rate, I’m going to have to look into getting a keg or something! :slight_smile: So, sturmhauke, will you tell us another story? Please? Please? Pretty please? With a cherry on top?

¡Ay caray, sturmhauke (or should I say Diablo de Tasmania?)! I’m not sure whether you are psychic, or merely psychotic, but that was pretty funny.

You got a detail wrong though. I would never stoop to calling Collounsbury “motherfucker.” Felchacabras or chupacamellos would be more my style.

My recollection of that event is a little fuzzy **, sturmhauke **, what with the gin flowing and stuff. If you could clarify a few points for me, it would be appreciated. [list=1][]Did Col get into the hottub with his Armani? []Was Colibri in his human or bird form?What happened to squeegee and the beer?

[[Pobrecita. ?Estas seguro que no tengas cojones? “Tener cojones” es un dicho coloquial. Significa que tu no eres pendeja. Pero, si puedes hablar el espanol, tu lo entiendes. Pues, si tienes cojones o no, quereria comprarte una cerveza.]]

Claro que si, celestina. Eres una de muchas personas que dicen que los tengo. ?Quien sabe? Mira aqui: http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mgirlbikes.html

[[Collounsbury, I’m sorry if you’re not satisfied with the translation. I emailed it to you, and when I saw you invite me to share it in this thread, I thought you’d seen it and approved it as it was.]]

Yu fiesty, gyal! Me waan fi nuo a we yu get a fi im email? A so im tan, so talawa dat Collounsbury. Wat labrish, dis!

It’s not that I am not “satisfied” – I was asked directly about the style, which is not mine certainly. Translation is an art, the translator aimed for a certain style etc, which is completely valid (for the Classical version of course, which he/she translated from).

More than one path.

(really this is an absurdely silly thread now.)

(really this is an absurdely silly thread now.)

Aw, now he’s getting embarrassed. Is that cute or what.

Yeah, I’m sure he’s blushing right down into his Armani suit. This Collounsbury guy just can’t stand the Pit. No cojones.

This is an absurdly silly thread now. It has progressed nicely from just plain old bizarre. When we get to sublimely ridiculous, then and only then will we have reached the pinnacle of Pit threadiness.

“silly”–from the Old English word “saelig” = to be blessed or holy.

Jill, I’m still trying to decipher your patois. I’m still puzzling out the second and third sentences. I tink dis fascinatin’. :slight_smile:

Colibri, I can’t talk about Collounsbury’s cojones in polite society, and I could be wrong, but I don’t think he’d like to talk about his cojones here either. However, if he does go on to talk about his cojones here, I’ll be the first to buy him a fifth of his favorite liquor or give him whatever his heart desires that I can reasonably afford. :wink:

Biggirl, being sublimely ridiculous is one of my main goals in life because within the realms of the sublimely ridiculous is sanity. Think about that. I think being sublimely ridiculous is a goal that everyone should aspire to. I don’t know if this thread will reach that stage. I mean really. If it does, what other loftier goals will we have left to attain?

Collounsbury, you know we love you, and this absurdly silly thread just demonstrates how there’s really nothing about you to flame, dear. I just wish folks loved me enough to make me a Pit thread the likes of the gem you have here. I treasure the time I’ve spent in this thread because it really is a work of art. If you really want me to stop being silly in this thread, I will.

Okay, folks, I have to be serious now. [sigh] !Ay, Dios mio! I’ve got a LOT of work to do today, and I don’t feel well either. :frowning: If you have a spare second, I’d appreciate any positive thoughts you could send my way because I really am in trouble. I’m such a fucking procrastinator. Why do I always wait until the last fucking minute?

“silly”–from the Old English word “saelig” = to be blessed or holy.

Jill, I’m still trying to decipher your patois. I’m still puzzling out the second and third sentences. I tink dis fascinatin’. :slight_smile:

Colibri, I can’t talk about Collounsbury’s cojones in polite society, and I could be wrong, but I don’t think he’d like to talk about his cojones here either. However, if he does go on to talk about his cojones here, I’ll be the first to buy him a fifth of his favorite liquor or give him whatever his heart desires that I can reasonably afford. :wink:

Biggirl, being sublimely ridiculous is one of my main goals in life because within the realms of the sublimely ridiculous is sanity. Think about that. I think being sublimely ridiculous is a goal that everyone should aspire to. I don’t know if this thread will reach that stage. I mean really. If it does, what other loftier goals will we have left to attain?

Collounsbury, you know we love you, and this absurdly silly thread just demonstrates how there’s really nothing about you to flame, dear. I just wish folks loved me enough to make me a Pit thread the likes of the gem you have here. I treasure the time I’ve spent in this thread because it really is a work of art. If you really want me to stop being silly in this thread, I will.

Okay, folks, I have to be serious now. [sigh] !Ay, Dios mio! I’ve got a LOT of work to do today, and I don’t feel well either. :frowning: If you have a spare second, I’d appreciate any positive thoughts you could send my way because I really am in trouble. I’m such a fucking procrastinator. Why do I always wait until the last fucking minute?

celestina, my love, if you’re so busy why’dja post twice? Get to work, feel better and stop wasting you’re time here at the Dope!
In regards to our roastie, I consulted the world renowned musicologist, Roberto Palmieri, who had this to say: {in verse, no less)
*Mente burro, usted no puede ser salvado
Oblivion es todo que quiere
Si hay mas tiempo para Usted,
No se preocupe.

Usted quisiera pensar que sea inmune
Pero la verdad es que no puedes consequir bastante.
Debes confesar: Es un tecate del amor!

bows Thank you, thank you. More installments of Wings of Desire will have to wait until more silliness comes along and smacks me upside the head. If you want to buy me a beer, I prefer A&W. Collounsbury shall henceforth be known as a goat felcher or camel muncher (I think), as the base and crude mo’fo’ does not adequately describe him. Run-of-the-mill motherfuckers do not enter into hot tubs with Armani swimwear. Colibri was originally to fly into the scene then transform, but half the FX department was out sick that day, and the other half had to take his car into the shop. squeegee got into an argument with the producer, quit, and took all the beer with him.