Dear Friends,
When I signed up for The Straight Dope, this was the only message board I’d ever felt a compulsion to join. (Of course, I’m excluding the BBSes — back then, it was “strictly business” on a BBS — and the squalid, early days of CompuServe’s rudimentary forums, where one might have traded insulting limericks with a slim few, almost impossibly obstreperous individuals.) This is and has been, in effect, my first and only contact with a virtual Community.
That being said, it gives me great pleasure to rejoin you now, after a month-long and seemingly interminable hiatus. It’s really good to be back.
Now before I go and get all maudlin, I’ll head right back to the point. Without ceremony, I hereby bid farewell to the handle Mr. B, a username that seemed like a really good idea back in January '03, when as a regular consumer of The Straight Dope (both in The Reader and online) I figured I could just “pop in” with the perfect answer to some odd GQ query. As it turns out, my uncle is senile. Also turns out, this place is Hotel California. Criminy.
Losing the old handle doesn’t mean I plan to change, mind you, but perhaps it is time we were properly introduced.
I guess the best way to characterize me is “Activist.” I’m the fellow who thanks you, grins and calls you “buddy” when you’ve acted amiably. I’m the guy who says “pardon me, Ladies, do either of you know where I can find some Kafka?” In public, I try to encourage babies and small children to smile; in fact, my first thought is to smile genuinely whenever I see people of any age. I’m that guy who makes friendly chat with the wait staff, and discusses the splendor that is Trader Joe’s with the checker whilst standing on-line in the store. I offer my unsolicited help to strangers, and enjoy it when strangers strike up a conversation at say the gym, the museum or the ski lodge.
Please don’t take me for some chump: While I offer profuse praise for good service, I am the first to rebuke bad personnel, poor quality food, shoddy workmanship or other negligence, and on rare occasions, even rudeness. I will not hesitate to ask for a manager or wait on hold just to complain to a supervisor. In person, I have faced down more than my share of stuffed-shirt politicians. And finally, I will never purport to being unfailingly polite because I prefer to be honest.
Oh, and before I forget, here’s something interesting: it’s likely that you have read something published under my byline.
Time for me to quit typing and whip up some grub, but honestly, there’s no way to wrap this up without talking about my wife. She is strong, kind and very clever and has, ever since we met and in just about every way I can recall, helped me be a better man. She’s a beautiful spirit who has within her more wonder and healing than anyone I’ve ever known. And what’s more, she gladly puts up with me.
Well, that’s about it for now. I hope you’ll take the time to share something about yourself.
Very truly yours,
El Cid Viscoso
PS: Oh wait, I’ve left something out. I’m learning how to breakdance.
