Wrong computer advice;
Open up any and all suspicious E-mails. Execute all attachments, several times if necessary. Forward to all on your list. DO NOT DELETE.
Attach photos and children’s drawing to your computer with refrigerator magnets.
Reply with private banking information to all those e-mails warning you that your account will be closed due to fraud if you don’t verify your information.
Unplug your computer, go on vacation, come back, plug it in and go online without updating your firewall and virus protection software. (We did this. Ivylad checked his e-mail, then the next time he went to boot up, some THING deleted every Windows application we had. Cost $100 to fix.)
Be sure to make use of the cup holder, that’s what it’s there for.
Say OK or Yes to all dialog boxes that pop up on your screen.
Don’t bother running Windows Update.
Wear wooly socks and run in place while swapping out RAM chips.
Unplugging the computer is faster and easier than “powering down.”
Do pepper all your emails, message board posts etc with lots and lots of smileys 
People can’t get enough of em. Use exclamation points and ALL CAPITAL LETTERS A LOT! It really gets your point across!
Oh, and the glurge? Everybody just loves it. Send it out a lot. If you have email access at work, send tons of it to coworkers all day long. They’ll be so appreciative they won’t be mad that you apparently have nothing else to do all DAMN DAY LONG!
Make sure to bookmark all your favourite porn sites at work.
buy a mac!
That’s it! You wanna step outside?
can’t right now, busy re-installing windows (again)
Run an unsecured wireless network. Be sure to leave the router name and admin password set to the manufacturer’s default values.
Every time I run Windows update to try SP2, I get the blue screen of death on my reboot. 
It is bizzare and depressing how many people do just that. I could get on to any one of three different neighbor’s networks, my boss’s neighbors’ network, and two networks belonging to different businesses in my building.
Plug your computer into a wall socket. Use the other socket for a heater or air conditioner. Use extension cords if necessary.
You forgot to add:
Forward copies to all your firends and relatives.
Use free e-greeting card services to send stupid e-greeting cards to everyone you know. Deny that this has any relation to the 2 fold increase in spam after you do this each time. Get really pissy when they close that email account and won’t provide you with thier new email address.
I did one better. I wrote “Forward to all on your list” :dubious:
To be extra helpful to the nice spammers you should forward them a copy of your address book everytime you recieve an e-mail from them. This will help the spammers reach even more of the folks out there that could use their help. Especially those people who have ‘private’ e-mail addresses and never get any spam.
Delete your system.ini file.
(I did this once, took me an hour to fix, mostly through lots of cursing and swearing at my stupidity.)