Let me give some background, before I ask for opinions. I have recently signed up for a popular, well advertised online matching service that rhymes with tFarmony. I’m apparently at an age where men’s biological clocks are ticking (something I never knew men had), and some of the men I’ve been matched with indicate they want children. That being said, I learned very quickly to weed those out, however, a conversation I had with a friend indicated that perhaps I shouldn’t have been so hasty.
I got married very young (16) and had two kids and was divorced by the time I was 20. I had another kid at 27 and basically raised the Hallkids by myself. It wasn’t easy, but we did okay. Now, HallGirls are both in college and living on their own, and Hallboy is a great kid at 11, and I’m fast approaching 40. I’ve had some female problems in prior years that would make carrying a pregnancy to full term somewhat iffy, not to mention actually getting pregnant at almost 40.
The thought of “starting over” with kids sounds absolutely exhausting to me, and the thought of raising them on my own (again) should something happen to a relationship makes me want to crawl into a hole. I would also shudder at the thought of dropping my 8 week old baby at the sitters because I need to go to work (been there and one that one and would never want to go through it again). That being said, though, I like kids, I’m a great mother, and under the “right” circumstances, would consider trying to have another child. The “right” circumstances though, I doubt exist.
I think it would be unfair to enter into a relationship with someone who wants kids with my set of conditions (especially since I have little doubt that they’d be in a position to actually bring those conditions to actually happening). My friend says that I should at least give a guy the chance.
So, would male dopers want to enter into a relationship with a “maybe” hanging (especially something that may be time sensitive and have the weight of reproduction), or would you rather have someone tell you upfront that the chances of you having a child in this relationship would be slim, very slim?