I sort of see it as an issue of ego.
Judging others to be ‘assholes’ is just a thinly disguised way of saying, ‘I’m better than you’. They are not assholes they are just people. And people are flawed. They sometimes do unthinking things. Sometimes they are worried about their job and don’t notice how they parked, sometimes they are worried about their dying granny and don’t notice the paper jam in the machine.
And, of course, we are all just people. We all do unthinking things. Yes, even you.
Perhaps you can’t see the ways in which you are flawed. The very definition of ‘unthinking’ means the annoying things you do are things that you don’t even give a thought to. Just like the person who parks badly, or leaves dishes in the sink.
And trying to ‘teach’ other people to conform to your standards for behaviour falls into the same category for me. The mommy / child relationship is very much about ego, (unless, of course, you are indeed the mommy and it’s your child). When you fall into the construct of ‘teaching’ a grown adult how to behave, it’s all about thinking you know better and being the Mommy. Which goes right back to your ego and having to feel superior.
And I certainly agree with Whynot about trying to make a effort to resolve issues. It’s been done. But these are largely young people living in rental accommodations. Letter after letter to the landlord isn’t going to change anything. They are young people who are just learning to live in the world. I don’t know about you, but I myself was young once. And it took me time to learn that it was easier to just get it right before you put it on the curb, than to clean up the resulting mess. My point was at some point you have to recognize that the landlord cannot possibly manage all the tenants garbage for them, it ain’t going to happen. That city hall can’t really say who’s garbage it is once it’s in the street. That an endless stream of complaints only frays relationships and costs the complainers, and the garbage is still in the street!
I find the whole, ‘Well I can do it so they should do it’, argument very tiring. We get it, you’re just wonderful, yes, you should definitely be able to tell everyone else how to do things.
No one is arguing that it’s not annoying, or that they shouldn’t know better, that’s all true. We’re talking about our chosen responses to it. And it is a choice.
(Having invoked the ‘ego’ word, I fully expect a shitstorm of protest. Let me say in advance, ‘Sorry if I hit on your last nerve’. I must admit this discussion has been extremely civil for the bbq pit. On reflection, had I not said, "For Christ’s sake SHUT UP!’ in my OP it probably would have gone in IMHO quite well. I was thinking people would be angrier and more outspoken against my view, quite honestly. Even those who don’t quite see it, seem terrible civil. Don’t you love this community?)
