Connect Santa Claus and Middle-earth (or, another insane Tolkien thread)

I thought about putting my usual insanely detailed justification, but I got bored in the middle of the paragraph and said fuck that shit. I must be getting old.

Anyway…connect old Kris Kringle with the Greater Perfesser’s elves. Or, if you prefer, you can link Rudolph & the other reindeer to the kine of Aman. Whatever floats your boat.

Christmas - something that a lot of people get excited about that bores me to tears.
Tolkien - see above.

What do I win? :smiley:

A lump of coal in your stocking.

Come on - Santa Claus is obviously Tom Bombadil’s and Goldberry’s son. But instead of singing goofy songs and frolicking about in meadows, he decided to make and distribute toys. He also preferred a colder climate, so he moved to the North Pole and set up shop there. Santa’s just as magical, mystical, loveable and immortal as his parents, though.

Well, Santa (Father Christmas) appears in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis. Lewis was J.R.R. Tolkien’s close friend and colleague, and they often helped each other with their writings. Tolkien wrote The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings which introduced the world to Middle Earth. QED.

There, just like that Kevin Bacon game.

And let’s not forget this, although the Professor drew no direct connection between Santa and his Middle-earth legendarium:

Right on! A few more and I’ll have fuel for the winter. :stuck_out_tongue:

“…One nose to light them all, and in the darkness, guide them.”

Of course Rudolph can’t fly – none of the reindeer can. They don’t have wings.

I don’t care what it says in Professor Moore’s appendices.

Be sure to leave some Lembas out on Christmas eve.

I love it when Tom Bombadil comes down the chimney on Christmas Eve and makes your Christmas Tree let go of the cat.

Well, the entrance is at the North Pole.

No, wait, that’s Hollow Earth.

Never mind, then.

I couldn’t find any specific Tolkien names on Santa’s Family Tree. But it’s populated with elves, dwarves & trolls. Among a multitude of other strange beings.

(Click twice on the image to read it.)

*Cross Posting what I posted elsewhere. *

Well right off the bat, don’t think Santa’s Elves are the Elves of Middle-Earth. It should be obvious that it is actually a small group of Dwarven Toy smiths.

As to Santa, he is surely a minor Maia and well adjusted to the Northern Ice Sheet. He is probably the patron of the Snowmen of Forochel. I wonder though if he was of Aulë’s people or perhaps Oromë 's.

Keep in mind that we already know that Father Christmas wanders around Narnia and it should not be a big surprise to find him in Middle-Earth either. Indeed, Tolkien wrote of Father Christmas’s fights vs. the Goblins and this leads even more the idea of the “Santa Elves” really being Dwarves.

*He sees you when you’re sleeping
He sees when you’re awake
He knows if you’ve been bad or good
So be good for goodness’ sake!
As Calvin once shrewdly observed about Santa Claus: “Kindly old elf, or CIA spook?” So, let’s think through again what we know about Santa Claus.

He’s awfully long lived for a human, though by most accounts he started out as one, at least.

He lives somewhere distant and legendary that no mortal has ever seen and returned to tell about.

He has an interest in mind control, and engages in long-distance surveillance of other people’s behavior.

He is ready to (promise to) shower rewards on those whose actions he deems in line with his goals.

He can fly high in the sky, using fantastic flying beasts, yet remains imperceptible to all but the most clear-sighted of humans.

My goodness. Is he… A latter-day Ringwraith?! Whatever happened to Saruman’s ring anyway, the one he made as “a child’s flattery” of the One Ring of Sauron which was cast into Mount Doom?

This is what I was going to post, too, and I’m frankly amazed that Skald wasn’t familiar with it. I really need to get ahold of a copy and re-read it.

It should be noted, too, that in an early draft Tolkien did in fact have Father Christmas in Lord of the Rings (he showed up in Bree, I think), but then decided that it wasn’t the right kind of story for that.

Here’s my theory:

Also see, starting at post #273.

This theory seems pretty persuasive. When I read the thread title, I thought to myself, “Tom Bombadil must have something to do with this.” After reading this, though:

I wonder, is there anyway to keep ‘Santa’ from visiting at all? If I’m good he brings presents. If I’m bad he brings coal. Are there any rules for keeping Ringwraiths out of your house, or am I hiding in the attic all night with fake bodies in the beds?

According to the Crackpot Tolkien Theories Page: