Conservapedia's Greatest Conservative Songs

Maybe this should go in the Pit, but since nobody around here has much good to say about CP, I don’t think that’s necessary. Anyway, most of the songs are pretty good. It’s the brief descriptions that made me chuckle.

Maybe I’ll add Sepultura’s Refuse/Resist because fucking liberals.

Wow, is that a joke or are they actually for real?

I’m surprised there’s nothing by Rush on that list.

It’s Conservapedia, so even money says at least one song was posted by a troll. Rush did make the list- three times! I just didn’t mention them.

Apparently wacko conservatives don’t actually listen to Rush:

That list has got to be a put-on. “Taking Care Of Business” by Bachman-Turner Overdrive is about “the work ethic and promoting self-employment”? The whole point of the song (such as it is) is making fun of hard-working wage slaves who don’t have the chance to be rock stars who work at nothing all day.

And Debby Boone’s “You Light Up My Life”, described as “One of the biggest hits ever, but liberals omit that this song is about Jesus.” Actually liberals (or anyone with a smidgen of musical taste) omit this horrifically glurgy song entirely, preferring to believe that it never fouled the airwaves.

MC Ren - behind the scenes. Very pro-family

“No Son of Mine” – huh? It’s about a kid who runs away from an abusive parent. How is that conservative OR liberal?

“Dissident” from Pearl Jam is “pro-life”? Are you fucking out of your goard, people?
Eddie Vedder is extremely vocal about being pro-choice, dumbass. Besides, according to Wiki:

Look under the “Talk” section for some of the songs that USED to be on there. “Land of Confusion”. “Fortunate Son”. Someone else suggestioned “YMCA”. Good lord. :stuck_out_tongue:

So now the game is come up with the most unlikely song you can think of and misconstrue it into having a conservative message.

“Anarchy in the UK” - Sex Pistols - a call for less government regulation
“Basket Case” - Green Day - a song about the pitfalls of universal health care
“I Shot the Sheriff” - Bob Marley - a Second Amendment song about how firearms defend against tyranny
“Violet” - Hole - promotes teenage abstinence

Phil Ochs must be spinning.

Do they even listen to these songs?

MacAurthur Park-How the homeless are destroying the urban recreational areas.

“Keeping an open mind” is a conservative value?

This is the most oft asked question about Conservapedia. It appears the the founder (Phyllis Schafly’s son) is dead serious, but I suspect that the site has its share of trolls just fucking with him. Conservapedia might be the best example of Poe’s Law on the internet. there are almost certainly some entries done purely as gags, but you can’t tell for sure what they are.

And cake.

I’m kind of surprised they didn’t mention “Anthem” which is an explicit paen to Ayn Rand. Of course, Ayn Rand was an atheist, so that might make her anathema on Conservapedia.

In that case, maybe they can throw in a couple of songs by Common.

Isn’t “I Shot the Sheriff” a pro-weed song?

“Every time I tried to plant a seed
he’d say kill it before it grows
kill it before it grows”

The narrator was growing weed, wasn’t he?

Surely you aren’t suggesting that a Rastafarian would make any references to cannabis! :eek:

This one’s got to be the clubhouse favorite.

Let’s go with…

Pussy by Lords of Acid - all about how liberals are emasculating America.

I think we can have fun with this idea!

“Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl):” – The importance of female companionship to our brave Navy sailors.

“Billy, Don’t Be a Hero” – The importance of following military orders regardless of one’s personal emotion.

“The Night Chicago Died” – Cops and guns, especially those defending our American Way of Life, will always win.

Man, I hadn’t thought of Conservapedia in ages until 1) The SO decided to go to Wash U for law school 2) I found out that a dozen law professors had protested Phyllis Schlafly getting an honorary degree 3) The Schlafly brewer in St. Louis is run/owned by her nephew 4) The Schlafly library branch is near his apartment and 5) I saw Conservapedia is run by her son.

Blerg.