Dear Sir and/or Madam:
I would like to take a moment to applaud your efforts to eradicate impotency. Penile dysfunction can devastate and embarrass even the best of us. But what can one do about the problem? Most of us are too timid to mention it to our doctors. That is why I appreciate your multiple, continual and steady stream of emails that daily flood my email in box, extolling the virtues of the wonder drug, Viagra. You clearly outline how I can discreetly and quickly acquire the drug, right from the privacy of my own computer.
Although I find all the information you provided fascinating, I don’t think that I am fully qualified to take the drug. Namely, because I have no penis. So, thank you for the information and concern, but please stop sending me daily emails - I think they could be more helpful elsewhere.
I applaud your medical crusade,
P.S. If you could mention to your colleagues that I do not own a house and therefore am not interested in their mortgage rates, I would greatly appreciate it.