Continual interest in my penile dysfunction

Dear Sir and/or Madam:

I would like to take a moment to applaud your efforts to eradicate impotency. Penile dysfunction can devastate and embarrass even the best of us. But what can one do about the problem? Most of us are too timid to mention it to our doctors. That is why I appreciate your multiple, continual and steady stream of emails that daily flood my email in box, extolling the virtues of the wonder drug, Viagra. You clearly outline how I can discreetly and quickly acquire the drug, right from the privacy of my own computer.

Although I find all the information you provided fascinating, I don’t think that I am fully qualified to take the drug. Namely, because I have no penis. So, thank you for the information and concern, but please stop sending me daily emails - I think they could be more helpful elsewhere.

I applaud your medical crusade,

P.S. If you could mention to your colleagues that I do not own a house and therefore am not interested in their mortgage rates, I would greatly appreciate it.

I am also a woman, and get tons of those e-mails! What did I do to convince some e-mail address vendor that I was male?

Gee! I’ve always wanted one of those! I think I’ll order one delivered right to my door…

“How would you like a larger penis!!!”
Uhhh…well…frankly, I think I’ll keep mine just the way it isn’t…

“Herbal V is not a drug… it is a scientifically blended
combination of all natural male performance enhancing herbs, so you don’t need a prescription to buy it.”
Hmmm…Webster’s Dictionary defines “drug” as “a substance other than food intended to affect the structure or function of the body.” Well, since this isn’t a drug, it must be a food! I like my maximum stimulation chilled, my stored testosterone with mayonnaise, and some extra spice in my sex life, please. Sheesh, those Herbal V people toss me tripe all the time…

But my all-time favorite, which coincedentally has nothing to do with my penis…
“Why invent mediocrity - WHEN YOU CAN DUPLICATE GENIUS !!”
Well. That’s it. It’s the end of the world. The dynamics of our society have just come to a shrieking halt with that one subject line. I pity this world we live in when our values have stooped so low. For shame.