Convince us that your most disliked movie us the worst film ever made.

In which we do–well, exactly what the thread title says. A few quick rules:

  1. Please confine yourself to movies you’ve actually seen.
  2. No porn.
  3. Bombast, exaggeration, and ridiculous fury are not only welcome but expected.
  4. Leave the HOBBIT movies out of it. No hand but mine shall slay Peter Jackson, do you hear? NO HAND BUT MINE!
  5. You can ignore #4 if you want.
  6. Logically each poster should trash only one movie. Logic is for weenies. As long as you go into absurd and overblown detail, mock as many movies as you feel like.

Go!

Do made-for-TV movies count?

Battlefield Earth. There is nothing that isn’t utter shit in this move. The dialogue is terrible and cringeworthy; the story is boring and childish; the acting is awful; the cinematography is the worst in film history… it’s so bad it can’t be enjoyed as a bad movie. It’s painful to watch in every way.

Worse than Batman and Robin.

Of course not, you fiilthy elf! Movie refers to the silver screen. Anyone who nominates a Lifetime movie will be stabbed, shot, strangled, suffocated, and smothered.

Intergalactic. I was so looking forward to it, but my Wife and I hated it.

It just drug on and on and on. For the most part I stopped paying attention, and was quite happy when it finally ended.

Did you mean Interstellar? If so, you’re wrong (not that I loved it, but I thought it was pretty good and parts of it were very cool).

Woo is the worst movie ever made. Anyone who disagrees is wrong.

Event Horizon. The movie that couldn’t decide whether to be science fiction or horror flick, so they went either third option, “both”. Now, one can do space horror quite well, witness Alien for example. Freaky aliens, the crew going mad, a virus; there are really a large number of ways to do space horror and retain some scrap of plausibility as a human being with 2 brain cells to rub together.

The film makers went their own, ludicrous way, however. With Event Horizon we get fresh, out-of-the-box thinking that brings us: science fiction plus Hellraiser. Yes, the mysterious troubles on this spaceship are caused by ::drumroll:: demons and a portal to hell.

What the everliving fuck? I’m prepared for a rousing space adventure with a mysterious craft to rescue (ooh - science fiction! No one makes those movies unless a light saber or NASA is involved! Finally something more intelligent.). And I get freaking Pinhead (not really - don’t ruin my moment) and his dim witted buddies out hunting for souls.

Look, tell me going in that it’s a Rosemary’s Baby satanic freakfest, and I’ll decide if I’m interested. (Clue - not) do not bill it as science fiction and then open a portal to hell in the engine room!

The cast was decent. The writing was terrible. I want that 2 hours of my life back.

I urge you to read the plot summary of Shoot the Moon and tell me you do not want to kill every main (adult) character.

I’ve never seen a movie with such self-adsorbed and obnoxious characters. To add insult to injury, the film was generally well received. According to Wiki, some asshole even said it was one of the best films of the decade. I haven’t seen it since it’s release in 1982, yet the anger I feel about it even being made has not subsided.

Back in the 70’s I went to a drive-in double feature. The first movie was Halloween, but it was the second movie that gave me nightmares: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. Drug-addled producer takes script from drug-addled writers, hires drug-addled director and drug-addled musicians and some B-list actors, and creates something that makes Xanadu look like Gone With The Wind in comparison. I don’t know what the budget was for the flop, but I bet half of it was snorted.

Speed Racer is the choice of torturers around the world when they force victims’ eyes open and make they watch.

It might improve at the end, I suppose, but I wouldn’t know because I died twenty minutes in.

Wing Commander. So bad I wanted the Kilrathi to win.

“Wing Commander looks like it was put together by people who couldn’t agree on whether or not the year 2564 would be colored with red bulbs and fluorescent cafeteria lights or costumed as if Urban Oufitters had gone to Uranus.”
Wesley Morris - Sanfran Examiner.

Leonard Part 6 is, without question, the worst movie ever made. From the villains who can be killed with contact with meat to the Alka-Seltzer flood, watching this movie was pure pain.

In hindsight, it’s obvious why Bill made this at the top of his career: to rape everyone who thought highly of him. As a precious 9-year-old fan of Bill’s, I certainly felt violated by this ridiculous, monstrous mess of a movie.

Highlander II. The director took a cult-classic-cool fantasy movie and removed everything that made the original idea interesting. Suddenly the immortals were ALIENS who had come to Earth in the 15th Century, despite the fact that Sean Connery’s character had said in the first movie that he’d been alive since ancient Egypt. They also scrimped on the budget so the “near future” Earth had only older cars and made up some bullshit reason for it. And no, Conner McCleod wasn’t the last immortal, he was just the last one on the planet and the Quickening still worked because…reasons.
It was such a horrible movie the third movie ignored its existence.

Stretching the point a little, since it was made for TV, but I have to nominate The Star Wars Holiday Special. I LIKE Bad Movies, and have had many Bad Film Festivals. I can enjoy a good, badly-made movie, and even find things to praise about them.

But I can’t in this case. It’s so awful that I have never been able to sit through it all in one sitting. Badly made, badly written, embarrassing to all involved. And it was made when Lucas was still riding high in his creative capabilities, and you KNOW everyone involved was capable of doing much better. It’s not even enjoyably bad or entertainingly bad. It’s just BAD.

Freddy Got Fingered

Reasons for being the worst.

Tom Green wrote the film.

Tom Green directed the film.

Tom Green starred in the film.

Date Movie. It’s the first of those series of crappy parody movies from the guys who are barely connected to Scary Movie.

There’s no plot. It’s literally just a collection of scenes that “parody” movies, most of which were already comedies. And by “parody”, I mean "take the joke from another movie and make it stupider/grosser.

Here’s an example. In Meet The Parents, there’s a scene where Ben Stiller’s character knocks over an urn, and the cat pees in the ashes. In Date Movie, the main character knocks over an urn, and the cats poops in the ashes, complete with fart noises. That’s it. That’s the joke.

I laughed once in the entire movie. There’s a quick sight gag during the “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” parody. There’s in the psychiatrist’s office, and after once of them says “I feel like there’s a distance between us” they quickly zoom out to show they are now sitting 10 feet apart. I think I was more thrown off by there being an actual clever joke in such a terrible movie.

I’m now getting irrationally angry over a movie I saw once ten years ago. That’s how bad it was.

The Turning Point.

A chick-flick starring Shirley MacLaine and Anne Bancroft. I dozed off, then woke up and it was still going on. Then I fell asleep again. When I awoke it was still going on.

It was a horrible date.

The Pest

That’s it. That’s the one. End of story.
Starring the very talented John Leguizamo. I thought it might be good.

Leguizamo is over the top manic, mugging constantly and breaking the 4th wall.

I wanted so bad for headhunter to get him.

On the Right Track. I paid to see it, and walked out midway. I just don’t do that. (Sorry if it doesn’t count since I didn’t see all of it.)