Las Vegas casinos and other agencies are taking bets on which David will win American Idol. Most favor Archuleta is the favorite, paying roughly 6:5 if I figure percentages correctly, and Cook even money at 1:1. Others vary, with Archuleta being the dark horse at a couple of casinos.
So for Doper Idol fans, let’s place our bets in Doper Dollars. For those not familiar, Doper Dollars are redeemable either for fried carbohydrates and lodging at Uncle Cecil’s Big Wampum Motor Court once the planned Doperland theme parks in Old Wives, Saskatchewan and Sugar Tit, South Carolina , become reality, or can be redeemed in the real world for a self administered pat on the body part of your choosing.
So what odds do you give and or what bets do you offer?
I’ll place DD$1000 on Cook at 1:1 odds and offer the remaining DD$4000 on Archuleta at 2:1 odds. Any takers?
I just want to say David Cook is one of the creepiest-looking people I have ever seen on tv. The guy looks like uncle pee-pee toucher x1000. I am shocked he has made it this far. I still cannot imagine him winning, even though I’ve been proven wrong every week he has not been kicked off.
I didn’t mean my uncle; I meant the archetypal child molestor. Would you really want to be alone in a room with someone looking at you like this? Or smiling at you like this? The guy looks hungry.
Cook is definitely the more talented and more capable and more diverse, but I just don’t know if, ultimately, he is electable.
Archuleta has the all important tween vote, but he also has the Mormon, Hispanic, and Basque-American vote as well as the all important “middle aged parents who want a role model and singing star that not only can they themselves enjoy but who would never take their daughter’s virginity until they had been legally married for three years” vote, and with Sanjaya’s endorsement he’ll only get hotter.
Cook is too much of an elitist, never going with the actual original arrangement of the song but with the come-lately reworking by a more “artsy” artist. Archuleta’s subtle reminders in songs that Cook is from the midwest, an area of the country where the KKK gained its strongest political power in the 20th century, has been masterful, as is the fact that not only does he look like he would consummate a relationship with your sons and daughters but he’d leave them scarred, demented, and pregnant.
Then the new policy of letting Randy and Paula be “Super Idol Judges” who can reapply 1/3 of the phone and 1/4 of the texting vote as they see fit may be a bad thing since Randy Jackson has daughters and Paula has been spurned by one non virginal Idol too many.
So I’m upping the odds: Cook now pays 3:1 and Archuleta is even money.
