corny responses to "how are you?" (i need them)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Considering how often men think about sex, feel free to be disarmingly blunt.
Horny.

Perhaps the questioner is hinting for a rendezvous. Be coy.
My spirit is willing and my flesh will sneak.

Perhaps you’ve already had a rendezvous, in which case you can drop names.
Ask your Mama.

It may be a question of your assertivess…
I just drank my last can of whupass and I’m trying to catch a case.

… or your religious beliefs…
I’m saved, praise Satan!

… or a question of your limited material wealth.
I’m so broke I can drink muddy water and sleep in a hollow log.

You could admit your spongeworthiness.
I’m the Man.

But not that spongeworthy.
I’m the shit and a pisser.

Or frankly, willing to be more submissive.
I’m your dog.

**You could evoke a Southern charm. **
Toler’ble, toler’ble.

Northern sophistication.
I’m like two terror attacks back to back – all you’ll talk about for weeks.

Midwestern sophistry
Huh?

Southern California aplomb.
Dude, as if.

Northern California cheeriness
I’m, like, glowing y’know?

Maybe you’re just hungry.
I’m ready to eat some breasts and thighs… and then maybe chicken.

22

If I genuinely like the person,

"Better, now. While looking at them very deliberately in the eyes.

23

From Guys and Dolls:
“I am well, but that could change.”

24

“I am better than I was yesterday, and not as good as I’ll be tomorrow.”

25

Or if you don’t like the person: "Well, I was doing pretty well.

26

I’m gonna rule this to be way, way, way more suited to MPSIMS than to Cafe Society.

27

For the guardedly optimistic:

“Okay so far.”

28

Packing nine and feeling fine?

29

For Buffy fans (and to almost guarantee a :confused: in response):

“5 by 5.”

30

“I think a better question is: how are I not?”

31

“It’s too early to tell.”

“Groovey!”

“Done.”

Tris

32

How did Ham radio get into Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

33

I’ve always heard that as “snug as a bug in a rug!” I’m not sure which way would irritate more - a cute rhyme, or a mis-spoken old saying.

One sure to please - a really, really chipper “Super!”

34

“Fair to partly cloudy” always makes me cringe.

Anytime you quote Mississippi Fred McDowell, you have used a Good Line.

35

There’s a guy at work that always asks me, “And how’s soulmurk today?” to which, for some reason, I always reply, “I don’t know, why don’t you ask him?”

36

Fine, but it’s early. A LOT can go wrong.

37

A waitress once ask a patron at the local Waffle House as he was comming in:

“How are you today?”

To which he responded:

“Old, fat and bald.” (which he was)

It gave me quite the chuckle.

38

Doing as well as can be expected, considering my hourly wage is equal to the price of a gallon of gas.

39

Well, I was recently put off guard by someone responding “Word!” to my how are you.

And then beatboxing during our conversation.

Go with that.

40

LOL.

I’ve been tempted to use this.

I’m a buffy nerd. Is there a support group I can join?