In the Garden State on NJ 101.5 we used to have a great afternoon talk show hosted by Scott and Casey. Casey would always respond to that question, “I’m fine. I’m always fine.” Nice way to be polite, but kinda a dick at the same time.
For the more alpha-male out there, a guy I know had a great response to “Hows it hanging”; He’d always reply “Mine doesnt hang”. He was, to be fair, a blatant womaniser and proud of it.
Or if you’re doing even better, “Finer 'n a frog’s hair split four ways!”
I had a senior chief who always answered saying, “Shitty!” I had another senior chief who always answered saying, “Proud to serve!” Go ahead, ask me which one we all liked better…
“Peachy!”
“Nifty!”
“I. Am. Excellent. How 'bout yourself?”
“Well, let’s see, its 8:01, I’ve been here three minutes, and I haven’t yet had a cuppa coffe. How do you think I’m doing?” Alternatively: “Well, let’s see. It’s 4:55 on a Friday afternoon. I’ll let you know how I’m doing after you start talking.”
“Vertical.”
“Alive. You’ll have to pay me for awake, alert, and enthusiastic.”