"How ya doin?"

I find that if I answer this common question with something other than the standard and expected, “Fine, thanks” that people tend to pay more attention in any conversation that follows. It also tends to break the ice, especially with complete strangers who are then much more amiable and talkative.

My standards:

Smashing, thank you.

If I were doing any better, I could jump up and stay there.

If I were doing any better, I’d be dating double-jointed promiscuous twins.

My pockets hurt.
Got any that I can add to my repertoire?
I also suggest you give it a try. I’ve been doing it for a few years and have found an incredible difference in day-to-day interactions. Waiters/waitresses, store clerks, and virtually anybody else you talk to will react better to you using this little trick!

I want those fools to keep far from me and so I carefully construct my wall…

brick in hand, ready to add it to the wall

Try these out:

Fucking awesome, dude! Thanks for asking!

Hemorroids are acting up. How’s yours doin’?

(George Carlin paraphrase): “I’d be doin’ better if I was dating a blonde nymphomaniac with a coke habit and a Ferrari dealership.”

so Sanguine, how you doin’?

Kinda horny but other then that I’m good. (some comedian that I don’t remember now)

Why? Who hired you? Tell them they’ll never find out. NEVER! (then turn and walk away quickly)

Well if you were me how would you feel? (I always love the puzzled looks I get from this)

If I were doing any better I’d be twins (I Don’t remember where I got this from but that twins thing in your OP reminded me of it)

Spiffing, old chap. (I just love that word)

Hunky Dory always works for me too.

[bud lite]I’m doing just fine! Fine city ya got here! Lot’s of friendly people![[/bl]

I thought this was a thread about NYPD Blue. They say it all the time, and the 11/4 episode had a guy comment on it.

I just say, “Great!”

“Couldn’t be better if I were purple.”

[gestapo voice] “ve ask zie quvestions here” [/gestapo voice]

“Splendid!”
“I felt great, but I got over it.”
“Fair, partly cloudy.”
“Better and better.”
“So far, I’ve avoided capture.”
“I’ll let you know when I wake up.”
“Answer not found. Try again later, or click Refresh.”

Diamond Dallas Page

Immediatly going into my response bank are Darkhold’'s, “Well if you were me how would you feel?” and calm kiwi’s, “Hunky Dory”. Some of the others I think are worth trying out, and a couple I know I just couldn’t pull off.

I am great thanks for asking.

Ducky, just ducky. And you?

:-d

Finer than frog hair

Good. And I’ll have fries with that.

Not unless my Uncle is DDP. He’s been saying it for the past 20 years and has never watched rasslin.

In response to the OP:

[Dave Ramsey]
“Better than I deserve!”
[/Dave Ramsey]

mutters to herself

“…more bricks… more”