I wish the hamsters would take vitamins or steroids or something…
Poof! the hamsters take steroids, and you can never get through a reply before the thread has gone in another direction entirely.
I want my ferrets to learn to use the papers!
your ferrets learn to use the papers however not in that way you want, they start reading them and making smart arse comments towards you
i wish for a giant tree of doom
I-Dream-of-Jeannie-style blink
OK, your ferrets can use the papers, unfortunately they can also read them. After hearing about what’s going on in Iraq they get incurably depressed, and they jump out the second-story window. Splat!
Oops…I was a little too late on that one…sooo…
Jeannie blink again
The giant tree of doom appears in your backyard and beats up your enemies upon request. But alas, one of your neighbors sues you when it beats up that yippy little dog next door. Whoops.
I wish for a lemonade fountain.
poof* well they say its lemonade but lets just say teh yappy little dog is to blame
i wish for a CLOCK
Bewitched-style-nose-wiggle You have a clock. But it’s military time! You can’t ever read the thing anyways.
I wish I had some BBQ Ribs about now! Mmmmmmmmm! Ribs!!!
You are granted a clock, but you never have time to look at it.
I wish for a warm towel when I get out of the hot tub.Fwooooop-fwooooop! Double wish-granting!
BigDaiv, you want a new halogen lamp; Johnny Bravo, you wish you were a transformer. You got it!
Only thing is, JB, the 345 KV transformer, gets hooked up directly to BD’s new lamp, blowing transformer, lamp, and the surrounding hectare into oblivion.
And, just because I’m such a generous soul, I grant if6was9’s desire for some barbecue ribs. Too bad they’re his own, since he was standing too close to BigDaiv’s new halogen lamp. misstee gets her warm towel, too. Too bad it doesn’t protect her from the wave of scalding water as the transformer explosion sends a jolt of high voltage into the hot tub’s pump.
I wish I could stop thinking about explosions. 
And with a gentle wave of his hand, a lemonade fountain appears in BellaDellaItalia’s home, unfortunately it’s operation is so complex that you have to hire a full time lemonade fountain operator, and his salary costs you more than just making your own lemonade would.
I wish I could read peoples minds.
Poof! you stop thinking about explosions. Too bad you didn’t realize what would happen if you lit a match in a room full of gas.
I wish to know if there is an afterlife.
You are standing in the room as the match is lit, you discover the afterlife only to find out it that there was only one right religion, and it had yet to be founded, sure is hot in here.
I still wish to be able to read peoples minds.
Tadaa… You stop thinking about explosions. Unfortunately you can’t think about anything else either and live out your life as a vegetable.
pop You can suddenly read minds. Unfortunately you are too late in discovering that everyone wants to kill you.
I wish that everybody likes me
Oops seems I’m slow posting…
Poof You learn that there is fact an afterlife… by taking a tour. The tour ends in the fiery pits of hell where you then stay.
Verick: Zap Wish granted. You will have unlimited access to peoples thoughts in a 100 mile radius. Unfortunately the constant chatter of mundane items and dirty thoughts has driven you insane. As a result you life on a desert island and hurtle insults at passing seagulls for constantly thinking about flying, mating and squarking.
Sekhmett Kiba: You end up locked in a room with three dozen manic knife-wielding preachers, who wish to discuss with you theological arguments about the afterlife and offer to show you it as proof.
I wish for a cup of coffee.
You awake to discover that everyone in the world likes you, there isn’t a person alive who doesn’t want to be your friend. Soon after you discover your the only person left alive.
You get a cup of coffe, but not only is it cold and stale, you discover its got way to much sugar and cream.
I wish I was more creative.
- A la peanut butter sandwiches! *
You are now more createive, but unfortunately you are in a Siberian prison in the 1950s where it is not appreciated in the least.
I wish I could teleport myself anywhere just by thinking about my destination.
Poof
You can now teleport yourself anywhere. However the first place you think about is the center of the sun.
I wish I could cook like the best chefs in the world.
You can now cook LIKE the best chefs in the world, but not AS WELL AS the best chefs in the world.
I wish I controlled ABC, CBS, and NBC’s daytime programming…
POOF! You now own the broadcast rights to the finest soap operas and variety shows from Bolivia, El Salvador, Guatemala, Peru and Uruguay.
I wish the Buffalo Bills would win the next Super Bowl.
Shazam The Bills won the Super Bowl. Consequently, all hell froze over and the sun never rose again.
I wish for a 2004 Grand Prix.