Corrupt Wish Game!!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Let’s see how creative you can be. This is the corrupt wish game. Somebody makes a wish. Any wish. Then you corrupt it. Grant it (pretend), but with a horrible twist. Then you wish. On the same post. Try to get as creative as you can. Here are some rules and advice.

  1. Try to corrupt the last poster.

  2. No wishing for wishy wishes. Ex. “I wish for an uncorruptable wish”. Feel free to skip people who do this.

  3. No childish corruptions. They must have to relate to the topic somehow. Ex. “OK, you get a sandwich, but then you get hit by a truck!” Feel free to make your wishes long and science-fictiony, but no half-page rants.
    All that in mind, here’s an example.

Me. I wish for $1,000,000,000

Post 1. Fine, but it is all counterfeit. You get arrested and get 10 years in prison.
I wish I could see dead people. (still in post 1)

Post 2. {another hopefully funny corruption}
{another wish}

Post 3. {yet another hopefully funny corruption}
{once again, a wish}

And so on and so on.
I wish I could be president!

2

Poof: You’re president, all right – of a small African country in the midst of a vicious civil war, and the rebel alliance has laid siege to your capital city, while your cabinet plots to unseat you, and your mistress has absconded to Switzerland with the bankbooks for your secret accounts. Machetes, anyone?

I wish I could sing like Kathy Mattea.

3

Poof: What a voice. Too bad you now look exactly like Kathy Mattea.

I wish I could understand Cat language, so I’d know what Maxx is telling me.

4

No problemo, you now understand and speak Kitty. Too bad for you, you only speak Kitty, so they will soon take you away and book you a long-term room at the “We Don’t Know What’s Wrong With Them” hotel.

I wish I could play and sing like all the members of Led Zepplin back at the peak of their talent. Not the same notes, you understand, but with the same creativity and talent they had back then. Without losing all that I now have (wife, kids, sanity).

Thank you, I’ll be here all week. Try the legumes.

5

Oooh. Nice wish. Unfortunately, you sound a bit too much like Led Zepplin. They sue, and a federal court orders you to never sing again.
I wish I could speak, write, and understand every major language in the world.

6

Sure, you can speak, write, and understand every major language in the world, but you cannot keep them straight. Italian blends into Esperanto blends into Mandarin blends into Swahili; as a result, you are a human Tower of Babel, unable to communicate with anyone.

I wish I was 5’8" instead of 5’0", but still the same weight, which would give me a supermodel bod.

7

Zap. You are now eight inches taller. Proble is that your SO is eight inches shorter and he doesn’t want to be with someone taller than him.

I wish I was the world’s best mathematician and had solved the Riemann hypothesis.

8

Poof You’re the world’s best mathematician… but you discover something that leads to nuclear bombs (ala Einstein.)
I wish I could find that special someone…

9

Zoweee!! You have found that special someone. The only thing is, so has everyone else. And you just have to wait miserably and unrequitedly in the queue behind a thousand other people.
I wish that I never got tired, never had to sleep and could have fun 24 hours a day.

10

Poof! You have a bag of cocaine, and snort it all.
24 hours later, you’re in your jail cell trying to sleep it off and wondering just what, exactly, you did to get here.

I wish I was an Oscar Mayer weiner.

11

Of course , as soon as I hit submit, I suddenly realised the obvious implications. Mind if I add the punchline to my own joke?

You don’t get laid musch do you?

Anyway, back to
I wish I was an Oscar Mayer Weiner.

12

Wish granted. But you are on the end of a stick held by little Tommy Bumgarter, the clumsiest kid in the world and have been dropped into the campfire. Ssssssss.

I wish I could play the guitar and all the greats (such as Clapton and Page) come to me for advice.

13

Unfortunately, the advice is on how to tell an amateur not to waste time on any more guitar lessons.

I want to sing with the Met.

14

Zap!There you are, on stage at the Met. Unfortunately its Tuesday. It Dark. You are singing to an empty theater.

15

Poof! You’re singing with the Met, all right – but you look like Luciano Pavarotti, only fatter.

I wish I could fly without wings.

16

Zonk! You’ve got you’re wish to fly without wings- however, you don’t have a clue as to how to land.

I wish I was Chancellor of Germany…

17

Bzzzzzzzzt! You’re chancellor of Germany, all right; but it’s 1933, and President Hindenburg has summoned you to his office.

I wish I could remember dates and not have to look them up.

18

You will never have to look up dates again. In fact you won’t be able to look anything up because you are blind.

I wish I had done some work today.

19

Shazzam! You did a BUNCH of work today, only to have your hard drive die at the end of the day and you have no backups, so you have to start over from scratch tomorrow.

I wish the company I’m doing contract work for actually sells something and is able to hire me at a six figure salary.

20

Kerwhizziwhizziwoof!

In order to make a profit your company sells your soul to the devil and your body on the meat market. Though it continues to hire you for a six figure salary, it seems that you have no right to contest ownership of your body and soul without a body or soul. You salary is paid in Venezuelan Bolivares.

I wish to live simply but comfortably, to be happy and to have the respect of others.