Could Alton Brown BE any sexier?!?

At first I wasn’t on board with the crushes I knew some Dopers have on this guy, but I had only briefly seen him on the Food Network. But I’ve been catching Good Eats and Iron Chef, and whoa. Smart, funny, just geeky enough, cute but approachable, and he spelled out every step and detail for the perfect fried chicken. I’m pretty well hooked, but…

So I’m watching the replay of Feeding on Asphalt, where he’s at the The Biscuit Place somewhere down south. (Him wearing cycle gear didn’t hurt.) He’s chatting with the biscuit-making woman about her cooking. This exchange is what sent me over the edge, around the corner into Crushville.

AB: I had my grandmother on Good Eats and we made biscuits together.
B-MW: Oh, how nice.
AB: And then she died.
B-MW: <noises of sympathy>
AB: She owed me money.

Just deadpan, so funny, and you could tell he probably had good times with his grandma. It was the icing on the cake, so to speak.

Anyone picking up what I’m laying down? I also have a jones for that Giada woman, so chime in with foodie crushes.

I pretty sure this should be in GQ, because the definitive answer is “No, Alton Brown could not be any sexier.” :smiley:

I used to like to watch his show but no crush here. As a matter of fact, I thought he was a bit of an ass on the Next Food Network Star. No smiles or jokes or anything - I thought he was just having a bad day but he was like that on both episodes in which he appeared.

He could be, yeah.

I used to have a crush on him. But now that he’s gained weight and lost more hair… he’s got this bloated look. No, thanks. Bobby Flay is my new FoodTV darling.

I still love Good Eats (which blows almost all of their other progamming out of the water), regardless of his appearance. Go Alton! Whoo.

Actually, Feasting on Asphalt is ruining Alton for me. :frowning:

First we need to clarify which Alton your referring to- the young, hip Alton, or the fat balding Alton? Or maybe that’s the question, similar to the young Elvis or Vegas Elvis?

And I agree, Feasting is not well done at all- the people he encounters are pretty dull with nothing interesting to say, the writing and directing is not that great (neither is the editing), and they haven’t really gone to any really intersting places. And the thing is, travel/food shows are easy to do- there’s tons of them on TV, all superior to this one. Maybe the new episodes will be better?

[fingers in ears]LA LA LA LA LA! I CAN’T HEAR YOOOOOOOU! [/fie]

The Alton on my DVR looks as great as ever. Lots of reruns to keep me happy! :smiley:

There’s a Vegas Alton? :smiley:

I have kind of an attraction for Ming Tsai from Simply Ming, though he’s gaining weight too. The food he prepared on his show is quite interesting and looks tasty – unique and creative without being too complicated or exotic.

What’s this thing with people who work around food all the time for a living and gaining weight?

I don’t think he’s sexy, although I enjoy watching Good Eats and Iron Chef America. Probably that whole heterosexual thing getting in the way.

But seriously, I think a lot of peoples attraction to him is based somewhat on him being on TV- I mean, if you saw AB in the mall and he wasn’t famous, would you give him a second look? I’m not so sure. But anyone who names his pretzel episode after the Steely Dan album is OK with me.

If I stayed long enough to hear him explain how eggs work in an emulsion, or to prove that deep frying isn’t a high-fat method of cooking (and that’s it’s “dry”, on top of it!) while he told sarcastically funny stories about Mae Mae, then yeah, I would. I admit it’s his brain that I find most attractive (and his sense of humor is part of that). Of course, his being on TV is what made his brains apparent to me. If I happened to know him some other way I’d still have a huge crush on him (as long as his real life personality matches his TV character, which it may not) Say he was my college professor, I’d be making some appointments for ahem extra tutorials! :wink: But yes, really, overweight or not, I do think he’s also physically attractive.

::looks at pictures on google::
So this is a personality thing, I take it? I’m not interested in food enough to have sat through a cooking show. Besides watching Julia Child when I was three or four, that is.

Bobby Flay?! He’s a slimy bastard who thinks chipotle and/or ancho peppers go with everything. If you watch his old show Boy Meets Grill, you can see that his cohost (Jackie Malouf?) quite clearly hates his guts.

Yes. He IS an arrogent, S.O.B. Especially on his show, Throwdown! Doesn’t stop him from being irresistibly sexy in my eyes.

My wife refers to Alton as “my husband’s boyfriend.” Personally, I’m loving Feasting On Asphalt, and am looking forward to the new season that starts August 4th.

My loins long for Ingrid Hoffman of Simply Delicioso. :smiley:

But the one I follow as a cook is Bobby Flay. I love Throwdown! So he’s arrogant and puts chilis in everything. So what? He’s still a better chef than anybody else on the Food Network, bar none. He has yet to make anything on Iron Chef America that I wouldn’t at least try, and I can’t say the same for Mario or Cat. And I wouldn’t touch any of Masaharu’s dishes with someone else’s tongue!

Throwdown has actually begun to redeem Bobby in my eyes. A show where we see him experiment (and fail) in the test kitchen, then go out and get thrashed trying to make doughnuts or jambalaya against serious pros, is exactly what his image needed. Genius.

I didn’t really get the “Alton=Sexy” thing. Then I met him.

Is it hot in here?

I have a non-sexual male crush on AB. And like silenus, my wife also refers to him as my boyfriend. She doesn’t get it…it’s not like that.

I’m going to a cooking demo/reception he’s doing in Nashville in a couple of weeks. I’ll let you know after that.

Yeah, that’s it. I didn’t understand the crushes at first because I knew his looks alone, but then he started explaining the fried chicken. And then there was the pulley system he rigged for safe turkey deep-frying. And how he throws in a little science here and there.

And yeah, I love to see Bobby Flay get beat on Throwdown. :smiley: