I know this is a really retarded question, but it’s because I’m tired and I think of really stupid questions when I’m tired.
Say I’m wandering in public woods and get lost at night and wind up on some farmer’s land. Suddenly, as I’m walking, my belt breaks and simultaneously my zipper and pants’ button break, instantly dropping my pants to the ground. In the pitch dark, I cannot find where they dropped as they slipped off my feet, and since I forgot to wear underwear I am now walking around completely bottomless.
As I’m walking, I hear a strange noise behind me. A whinny or a neigh. I’m confused and scared. I walk a little faster, but the sound is following behind me. Then, all of a sudden, a giant male horse mounts me and sticks his erect weiner into my butthole with pinpoint precision. Excrutiatingly painful as it is, I yell out in agony as the horse’s member tears and shreds my tender colon. My scream is so loud it attracts the farmer, who calls the cops on me for trespassing on his land. I then get cited for indecent exposure and bestiality as well.
Oh, by the way, I caught all this on film as I accidentally left my video camera running the whole time.
Could I sue the farmer for what his horse did to me? Or am I completely in the wrong?
(1) Did the farmer train the horse to rape trouserless people?
(2) Did the farmer know that the horse habitually raped trouserless people?
If the answer to both questions is “No” then the farmer had no reason to expect that his livestock would sexually assault you, and would have no tort responsibility for the horse’s actions. Horses are not dangerous animals, and in particular are not known to attack people in that way.
Also not a lawyer, but AFAIK, you can sue simply because you can pretty much sue anyone for anything though the case might not make it to court and there’s no chance in hell you’d win.
There must be a market for that sort of slapstick/bestiality combo. Again, not sure about the legalities wrt that.
Why do we have to go through this rigamarole every single time someone asks a question about the law? It’s just a common layperson’s way of putting the question. You know what the OP meant; if you have any useful knowledge, just get to it.
So, if person A tied $1,000 in banknotes to a brick, and threw it through person B’s front window, and person B used part of the $1,000 to pay for the repairs to the window, keeping the rest for other purposes, and used the brick to repair a wall missing one brick, could:
(1) person B be charged with the crime of theft or embezzlement of the $1,000?
(2) person B be sued by person A for conversion of the brick?
[moderating]
Since the OP is really looking for opinions here, I’ve moved the thread from GQ to IMHO.
[/moderating]
Incidentally, reading the OP makes me wonder whether horses are typically attracted to CheeseDonkeys. Probably, since that’s where CheeseMules come from.
(And don’t tell me we’re actually talking about CheeseHinneys here. I like my joke better!)
Did some out of the ordinary experience/stimulus cause this… such as saw a stud’s erect penis then took a walk in the woods or had some good(?) dope or all of the above? Just curious.
Wrong on both counts. Indecent exposure ordinarily requires lewd intent, which is not present when the person is trouserless due to a series of unforeseeable accidents.
Trespass to land, which is a tort and not a crime (although there is also criminal trespass), requires no showing of fault (beyond showing that the person entered upon the land as a result of his own voluntary act) or damages in order to prevail.
Not with human penis; I regularly see vet’s sticking their arm all the way in up to their arm pits on Animal Planet vet shows and that doesn’t seem to bother them much… or it could be that they enjoy it? I don’t know how to read horse’s face.
