Who said it doesn’t happen again? Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes you want to do it again, repeatedly with the same person, sometimes you want to try it with someone else.
Not to speak for Panache, but he and have been there and sown the wild oats and we are both now settled into relationships so we’ve experienced both. I like both; the random hookups were a blast and I wouldn’t change that part of my past but I also wouldn’t change my present. But I wouldn’t necessarily describe one as better by ‘a mile’ than the other. Both lives have plusses and minuses and I am very happy either way.
:rolleyes:, yourself.
I found that person, and we’ve been together (and monogamous) over 21 years. But we both had to kiss a whole lot of frogs before finding our prince. And if we hadn’t been out there kissing the frogs, we never would have met.
And the Sexual Revolution was a lot more than sowing our wild oats. The world was a very different place back then. We were coming out of decades of repression and ignorance and homophobia, and were pretty much in uncharted territory. We were breaking down the old barriers and stereotypes that needed to be discarded . . . and it was society in general that was evolving; sexuality wasn’t even the most important aspect of it.
If it’s only about being laid, all you need is someone with whom you’re sexually compatible. It doesn’t matter what his politics are, or his housekeeping habits, or his emotional availability, or his taste in music, or a myriad of other things. He may be great in bed, but in the back of your head you’re thinking, “This is nice, but perhaps the next guy I meet will be just as good in bed, plus be relationship material.” So you move on.
Because getting laid by the same person repeatedly tends to result in one finding oneself in a relationship, and some people don’t want that.
Because if you continue to sleep with them then they are going to want to talk to you about stuff. And that’s not really what they are there for.
It can be very difficult to maintain a relationship built only on sex - people want to talk and share emotions and intimacies like cuddling, hand holding and so forth when you continue a long term sexual relationship. If all you are in it for is the sex, it’s best not to even start down that path because most people that promise they can handle it are either lying or fooling themselves, because feelings end up coming out. So you just walk away after the first one or two.
Of course if you move on after a one night stand, then you’ll never find out if that person is relationship material will you?
In which case they are just some random person to fuck…next please…
I mean I get it. Sometimes you just gotta get laid. Or wanna have fun. Or whatever. But at some point the numbers get big enough that I have to wonder if
that person even views other people as humans with feelings, dreams, hopes, whatever, or just a biological machine to help them get off.
As a 22-year old already bumping against the century mark, no, it wouldn’t bother me. But some of that was during my escorting days, so I don’t know if that counts.
Is “escorting” code for prostitution? Just curious.
But yes, I would think they would count, whether paid or not.
Gay male here, 38. Having had hundreds of sex partners is the norm in my circles. I’m more put off by people who proudly proclaim they don’t “hook up” - it smacks of self-righteousness.
Exactly!!! Sex feels awesome and everything…but there’s a difference between just plain sex, and lovemaking. It’s like the difference between Easy Mac and your mom’s homemade macaroni and cheese with the baked topping.
Someone a wee bit sensative on this subject?
It’s good that you met that person, but you might have met them any other way besides randomly sexually hooking up…Lots of people date and explore hundreds of people without going all the way sexually.
I’m also so sick of the “sexual revolution” it was a different time excuse. Yeah…there were some uptight Middle America blahs out there…but you know, that sort of stuff had been around for millenia…it so wasn’t anything really new. And you know a bunch of gay guys or straight guys fucking like bunnies seems to be the most obvious stereotype out there. It was just new to YOU baby boomers. GLB folks have a long and varied history…Hell gasp SEX has a long and varied history. The only reason why you thought you were exploring uncharted terroroty back then is b/c some bowlderizing prude decided to whitewash history.
I’m entirely baffled by your idea that anyone needs an “excuse” for their sex life.
If you’re personally not comfortable with the idea of having sex with lots of people, that’s perfectly okay. If you’re not comfortable being friends with someone who has had sex with lots of people, that’s, well… a bit limiting, I personally *like *to hang with people who see things differently than I do, but it’s certainly your prerogative. But nobody owes you an excuse or an apology for not having the same sexual mores that you do.
It can be, or it could be the creepy old man who paid me to take me out to dinner at a crappy Chinese place while he hassled the waiter for having an accent and complained about the food.
I ignored his future emails.
true enough.
But on the flip side, don’t use some flimsy excuse that pretends you were doing something noble when in reality it was just you getting to do or doing what you wanted to do in the first place.
There is often “taking one for the team” in many social advances, but fucking a bunch of people that you apparently wanted to because you finally can aint it.
Please. Nobody is equating their sexual history with “doing something noble” or “taking one for the team.” Perhaps your own agenda is getting in the way of reading comprehension.
No problem, heck, I married a guy like that
Hugs and Hissessss,
Maria
They don’t. Not at ALL. I don’t think that it’s impossible to be emotionally healthy and have quite a bit of sexual history. However, it does seem like a lot of people who do have an extensive sexual history are not exactly emotionally healthy. Like they have deep seated self esteem issues (they see sex being advertised by the culture as a ticket to instant self esteem) or they are emoitionally stunted and don’t understand the difference between just lusting for someone, and the perfect combonation of sex and a real loving caring realtionship.
I know someone who slept around and looked at me like I had three heads when I told them that just CUDDLING with my girlfriend could feel as good as doing it.
I’m not anti-sex…Heck, go out and do what you want. But, it really does seem ironic that a lot of the ones with an extensive history out there are the same ones who are always whining that they don’t have any emotional connections with anyone.
As opposed to the paragons of mental and emotional health who spend their lives saving themselves and end up alone in a houseful of cats?
I’m just sayin… there are all kinds of people in the world, with all kinds of issues, that manifest in all kinds of ways. I know lots of people who’ve had lots of sex. Some of them are looking for love, some of them are desperate for attention, and some of them just really like sex. The ones in the first two categories are the most likely to have eventually “settled down” into *your *ideal life, some happily, some less so. Does that mean that the sex they had was ultimately healthier?
I pretty much don’t care about what sex people I know have or don’t have. In most instances I don’t want to know about it and don’t talk to them about it.
So yeah, I could be friends with said person. 47 male.
I’m Female, 54. I lived through the “free love” era, so many of my contemporaries have had easily 100+ lovers. This era influenced everyone in one way or another, not just abuse victims or prostitutes.
So, I’d have no problem with having a friend with a “history”.