That’s not disowning. That’s ignoring until they earn forgiveness.
They’ll always be my babies! 
Is there a name for the disorder that makes it impossible for me just to choose from among the options as presented? Those are some pretty dark topics to contemplate on a sunny friday afternoon.
Simple murder would not make me disown him. Murder without any remorse might. I’d like to think that I’d maintain a connection as long as there was help I could offer and he would accept.
A friend of mine has an adult son who has been an addict for years. Friend has put him through two private rehabs at no small cost. His son has caused turmoil and done all the stereotypical addict things (stolen, lied, etc.). Friend after a third relapse Friend had to decide what was best for him, his wife, and other two children. He established conditions for the son which so far he is not willing or able to meet, so I suppose you’d say he’s disowned him. The bridge isn’t burned though, there’s just a toll to get back over it. I’d like to think that’s how I’d be in a situation that looked irreparable.
I read a book about teen mothers in the 50s and 60s. There were a few women interviewed who told their parents they were pregnant and were turned out on the street immediately. I cannot imagine doing that to my child. I cannot imagine anyone doing that to anyone.
Sure, if he started getting on my nerves.
Common sense? 
Sorry 'bout that. I have dispatched 298 butterflies over various colorations to make things better for you.
Well, I did qualify the murder options.
None of the above. They’re mine, for better or for worse, forever.
Regards,
Shodan
True. But if your kid tries to shoot you, you may wish to reconsider having them over for Turkey Day. I’m just saying.
Am I the only one who misread the title of the thread originally and thought this was a discussion of Andrea Yates/Susan Smith?
How do you get that? Unless you were wondering if their parents disowned them for murdering their children.
:pI misread disown as drown. How often do you use/read the word “disown”. I be whoosh?
That seems reasonable, as all my posts contain typos. The one in this one is especially subtle.
You did, and that really should have been enough. But my mind races. If he killed my spouse as my spouse was throttling me I certainly wouldn’t disown him. If he killed my spouse for looking at him funny would I disown him? Perhaps eventually, after as many attempts and understanding and counselling as were possible.
Homosexuality, and interracial marriage wouldn’t be any sort of a deal, big or otherwise, for me. Neither would an opposing political opinion. If it strayed into the area of White Supremacy I’d have concerns, but would work to bring him out of it rather than disown him.
The more I think about it the more I think I wouldn’t disown him. I don’t think limiting interaction is the same as “you are no son of mine.” I have gone through periods of no interaction with my own parents and didn’t feel disowned.
I voted no, with cutting the kid off forever, in mind, before I saw this post, but if that’s what you had in mind, then my answer changes to yes, for all the situations where a person/animal is being purposefully harmed. If my hypothetical kid needed help, I’d be there (which is why I wouldn’t consider them disowned), but I’m not going to sit around having regular dinners and chatting with someone who, for example, is abusing people, and refusing to make an effort to change their ways.
I checked the “tried/succeeded in killing me/spouse/family member,” though I’m assuming that’d be for if it was unjustified (like, they weren’t just trying to defend themselves), or they were temporarily crazy or something and could be treated.
I’m also assuming “treason” was something completely unjustifiable or understandable. I mean, even I can potentially see a difference between “I leaked classified documents because I felt the government was acting immorally,” and “I sold our nuclear launch codes to the Commie-Nazis. Long live the glorious revolution!”
These kind of “What if” questions always bog down with me…I’d say that reveals something about my state of mind, that I answer horrible questions and scenarios with a “it depends if…” or “What if they deviated slightly and did…”
This poll is missing “Being ugly” and “Not getting into Harvard, Yale, or Princeton” as options.
I think his use of disowning for this is a bit exaggerated. Disowning means treating as if they don’t exist. It’s the old “I have no son” or “You’re dead to me” crap. As far as you are concerned, there is no forgiveness. You can see why I think it is immoral.
That said, I’m not sure I could go to just emergency contact, either, as that’s worse than people I don’t know. I’m going to be cordial if at all possible. The worst can be that I just won’t want to see you, but that would mean I’m still angry and unforgiving, and would thus be something I needed to deal with in myself.
Considering that Bing Crosby used to beat the shit out of his kids, it would probably be a blessing for her.
I interpreted “disown” in the sense of shutting off all contact. I would take reasonable steps to protect myself (and my wife, and my other child/grandchildren/family and friends), but I would still maintain contact. Visit them in prison, meet them in public places, try to get them medicated, all that kind of thing - sure. “You are no longer my son” - no.
Some things are irrevocable. Fatherhood is one of them.
Besides, if I shut off contact, how could I be sure they were eating properly?
Regards,
Shodan
I could imagine cutting off contact for a variety of reasons, and answered thinking it was more on that basis.
But saying ‘you are not my child’ would simply be something Id be doing to try and hurt them. I hope I would never do that, but I can imagine blurting it out as a possibility in some of the scenarios I guess.
Otara
My son will always be my child.
I would cut off contact and support for some of those situations, presuming I’d done all the reasonable things first. Turn them in if they’re hurting people, try and help them see reason if they’re stuck on stupid, etc. Some people just choose to be stuck, and there’s a limit, not a well-defined one, but a fuzzy line somehow that says at some point I’d walk away if I couldn’t fix it.