Last night I was watching a show about transsexuals. Not transvestites, but the ones who actually went through the process of getting snipped (or, in some cases, they had an adadictome–say it out loud and you’ll get it).
I got to thinking, if I were to meet someone who I really liked and was physically attracted to, and I found out that she had once been a man, would I still sleep with her?
I realised that I’d be pretty freaked out at first, but would probably go ahead. (of course, at this point, I’m so hard-up that I’d f*** buffalo!:))
What about everyone else? Would you sleep with someone who had a sex-change operation?
Personally… no I wouldn’t be able to. And I can’t explain why without sounding like a homophobic wanker. I realise that someone who goes to the extent of having a sex changing operation feels that (or indeed WAS) he or she (is there an ‘or she’?) was born into the wrong body etc. etc. But I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking that ---- well, like I said, I don’t want to sound like a wanker! Too late I suppose.
But as an addition to this question - if the most beautiful person wanted to ‘be’ with you, but they suffered from bad BO or halitosis (can’t be bothered running for a dictionary on that one), would you tell them, give them a chance to rectify the situation, or run a mile?
Personally… no I wouldn’t be able to tell them. See you in the fast lane!
Is it really fair to compare someone who chose their gender to someone who smells bad? The repulsion to BO or halitosis is a physical, sensory one, whereas any repulsion to a transgender individual (remarkable PC term for me to use) would be wholly psychological–but not necessarily homophobic.
Sorry, maybe I mis-read the thread - I didn’t really, I have no excuses for my heavy-handed bundling. But if you were to tell someone that they smelled, surely that would affect them mentally? ‘I can’t sleep with you, you used to be a man’ compared with ‘I can’t sleep with you, you smell like an old sock’ - but then, maybe the person who has gone through the ordeal of having their bits and pieces lobbed off would be a very understanding person. They’ve probably head a lot worse - ‘So you want this cutting off? What, this little thing? What’s the point?’
Well, the difference is that saying someone smells is a personal insult (even when it’s true), but isn’t refusing to sleep with someone because she used to be a man along the same lines as refusing to sleep with someone because you don’t like the music they listen to? Granted, that’s exaggerating the point a bit, but it’s the same principle, looked at from a different (and rather extreme) perspective. Remember, it’s a personal choice that someone made.
Believe me, I’m not trying to say, BAD Stimpy! You won’t boink a chick who used to have nuts! I’m just trying to poll…
And to open the topic up a little bit more, how would you react if someone you’ve been dating for two month tells you that they used to be a diferent gender?
Now THAT is a difficult question! Because if you were repulsed you could always argue that they’d kept something very important from you…
I thiiiiink if I was very much in love then I would try to wrestle with my own problems, but in the end I’m not a very good wrestler. I remember recently that a friend told me he had doubts about a girl that I really liked - get this - because she had an adams apple. Admittedly yes, it looks like she does sometimes, but I think this is because her neck is very skinny. I’ve since gotten to know the girl very well, and no she was never a man. But at the time that he told me of his doubts a cold shiver ran through me.
Guess what I’m trying to get to here is that you can’t change the way you feel as easily as the way you look. But I do feel bad about the way I feel on this subject - I would drop the ladyboy, I know I would. And this doesn’t help me, but I AM BAD! Ren’s looking over my shoulder, gotta shoot.
Well I’ve just gotta put my $.02 in, because I’ve been there.
First of all, for those of you who don’t know, I’m a gay man.
I once met this really hot little skinny guy (one of my favorite types), and he made it very clear to me that we were sexually compatible (I love to receive head, and he loved to give it).
During our second night together, he told me that he had been, physically, a woman. Having been with a fair number of men who were at all different points on the butch-femme continuum, I had learned to accept guys for what they were. I hadn’t thought to “check him out” down there, because that wasn’t the part of him that I was interested in.
So, we just kept on making love, and saw each other, on and off, for a couple months. And I was grateful for the wonderful man he had become, rather than dwelling on his past, before I had known him.
I think that when straight people freak out about this, it’s gotta be from homophobia (My God, I had sex with someone who used to be JUST LIKE ME!). Get over it.
I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Six months, two weeks, four days, 15 hours, 16 minutes and 21 seconds.
8065 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,008.18.
Extra life with Drain Bead: 4 weeks, 5 minutes.
I dated a transexual briefly. (Actually, Morgan identified as lesbian at the time; he realized he was trans later and there was epic drama surrounding it.)
I wouldn’t rule out someone from the dating pool just because they were trans.
In the mid-1990s, I dated two women, one right after the other, who both turned out to be hermaphrodites that had been raised as men and had later decided to get a sex-change. One of them was post-op, with a functioning vagina. The other one, however, was pre-op, and still had her miniature penis and scrotum.
And blessedwolf – yes, I was freaked out at first. Especially with the first one (the one who was still pre-op). It took a Herculean effort not to run away screaming.
Then you’re a stronger man than I. I don’t think I could be with someone who still had his/her (it’s?) boy-parts. That would just be too creepy. Kind of like the school nurse on South Park. /shudder/
I don’t know. My ex-husbands brother went through all of that, and he (now she) has a boyfriend. I think that you have to be pretty secure with yourself in order to go on with the relationship.
