Couldn't be any dirtier

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Jogged and played tennis last night. Didn’t shower.
Woke up this morning spread mulch, weeded garden, spent two hours mowing a big dusty dry field.

Then, I ran 7 1/2 miles. While running, I noticed that I was dripping mud, and the sweat was streaking on me.

Then I played tennis.

Then I rolled around in the dirt and grass with my daughter for an hour or so, playing horsey.

Then I set up the smoker and started ribs.

Then I power-washed the house, and truck.

Then I changed oil in truck and messed around with the parking brake cable (laying in the dirt under truck.)

Then I ate ribs, and potato salad, and got even dirtier.

I am coated with a salty, dirty, sweat crust.

I don’t think you could tell my race by looking at me.

I blow my nose and mud comes out.

I hereby declare myself Lord High Emporer of the Mudmen.
I smell kind of rank as well, but I guess that’s good. Everybody’s leaving me alone. What they say must be true. Rank does have its privileges.

I will now drink a beer.

2

Nah, pour it on yourself.

3

:::sniff sniff:::
Mmmmmm. I know that smell. It’s my dad, after he got done doing most of the same stuff you just did.

Good smell. Happy memory smell. I like it. :smiley:

4

Eh, who needs hygiene when you have ribs?

5

Sounds like you might need to use that power wash on yourself. Or maybe your wife will.

6

Wow, you’ve been a busy boy!

I love getting physically dirty. I call it “clean” dirt until it starts getting smelly.

Enjoy the beer; you deserve it!

7

Ahhh…

The Straight Dope Message Boards, where hygiene is just another greeting.

8

Allow me to suggest that now would be an excellent time to go see if Mrs. Scylla feels like a little jump. :smiley:

I know how much I enjoy it when the Better Half’s been making like a feelthy peeg and comes into the house reeking. “What is that smell?” I ask myself. “Why, it’s Essence of Male! My man! My mate!”

[sub]heh[/sub]

9

Philistine!! Barbarian!!

10

True, beer is sacred. But a delicious sense of sacrilege is a good thing, mais oui?

11

God… Look at all that shit you did. I wish I was a real man. :frowning:

12

I love it when they talk that way!!!

You so fine, DDG! Youse hubby be a fortunate man!

13

Next thing you know, you will making peace in the Middle East, feeding the hungry of the world, is there anything you can’t do, Scylla?

14

Beat my wife at tennis.

15

Uh, Pigpen, the rest of the Peanuts[sup]TM[/sup] gang is out here wondering where in the hell you had run off to. And don’t worry, once you get back on the Thorazine those delusions of grandeur will slide right off.

16

shower? :slight_smile:

17

I’m with Lurker… take a shower dude! Then jump your wife!!!:smiley:

18

I hope you washed your hands before you ate those ribs.

(Incidentally, I prepared spare ribs Scylla-style Friday night*…as I have no smoker, I grilled them in a 250-degree gas grill loaded with smoldering hickory chunks for two hours. Indescribably delicious. Do you use a dry rub? I smeared them with a mixture of salt, paprika, chile powder, garlic, cumin, mustard, oregano, and black and red pepper first.)

  • However, I was clean as I did so.
19

Well, in a couple of geologic ages after all that mud has transformed into sedimentary rock, then you’ll be Scylla indeed. All we’d have to do would be drop you in the Mediterranean Sea.

20

Ike:

My rib theories are continually evolving. Currently I employ the Zenster method of soaking in Vinegar/water before cooking.

I use brown sugar (and lots of it!) in my dry rub. I also want Zenster’s secret dry rub recipe, and one day I will have it.

I’m currently working on achieving the ultimate in tenderness. To do this you need to make those connective tissues dissolve.

Currently I wrap my ribs tightly in tin foil with a little balsamic vinegar and apple juice for the second to last half hour of cooking.

That stewing in juices seems to dramatically increase the tenderness factor.

Then I take them out of the tin foil and resume normal smoking for the final half hour.

Still not perfect, but close.