Today I saw three separate couples who dressed alike. The first couple was just into basic matching…black tops, khaki bottoms, but not the same shirts/bottoms. The second couple was aiming for more perfection…same brand/style of shirt, same brand/style shorts. The third couple had matching windbreakers, matching t-shirts, matching shorts and matching shoes.
Now what I want to know is, where do they find each other and where in the intricate dance that is courtship do you introduce the idea of dressing alike? Do these people ever reject someone because that person isn’t interested in dressing alike? Are they ever rejected for wanting to match? Why would you want to dress just like your SO? Do they know that other people snicker at them behind their backs? Do they care?
When I was married, my husband was so violently opposed to the dressing alike thing that when it once occurred by accident (I got dressed in a navy top and tan skirt while he was in the shower, then went to pick up the babysitter…when I got back, he had chosen navy polo and khaki pants) he was almost desperate to change his shirt. His over-reaction made me start to notice couples who dressed alike, and they were a bit strange.
In fact, one couple that I waited on when I worked in a fabric shop was even written up in the paper for their dedication to dressing alike…she made all their clothes, and would make him a dress shirt in the same fabric she used for a ruffled blouse. They planned out what they would wear each day, shopped together for fabric (and really dreadful taste was very apparent) and they hadn’t NOT matched once in many, many years.
I think that if I dated a guy who wanted me to wear matching clothes, or who asked me waht I was going to wear and then showed up similarly attired, there wouldn’t be many dates past that point . But maybe I’m just boring.
So, Dopers, anyone out there into dressing alike? Or have experience in their past with someone who wanted them to? Have any relatives who do this? ( And for the record, dressing in matching outfits for square-dancing is entirely different from dressing alike to go to the mall…my sister and her husband are not dress-alikers!) How to these people find each other?
Good grief! I had always assumed that couples who dress alike did it because one person (I confess, my sexism is showing, and I figured it would usually be the woman) was very into the idea, and that the other partner didn’t really care. For example, Mr. Del and I happen to match the stereotype of Man=Not At All Interested In Shopping and Clothes and Woman=Very Interested In Shopping And Clothes. The only times Mr. Del gets new clothes are when I give him gifts for Christmas or birthdays, or frankly, if I get an urge to shop from a catalogue at 2 AM (not uncommon!), and the only catalogue I can find is menswear. Since we’ve been together, the only clothing I have EVER seen him purchase of his own volition are socks, underwear, and concert T-shirts. And, to complete your image of me this morning as a disgruntled haus frau, I should add that the socks and underwear purchases are usually generated by times I am away, and he wants clean socks and underwear.
I bet (and in a twisted and sick perverted way, I am a little bit tempted to try this out) if I started purchasing matching clothes, and then waiting for him to get dressed so I could put on my matching outfit accordingly, it would be DAYS, WEEKS, perhaps even MONTHS, before he noticed we were wearing matching clothing. My gosh, the mind boggles!
But your story of the couple who shops for fabric together for the matching outfits? Aaaahhh!!! That is scary. I am trying to not be too judgemental here, so let me just say it is scary To Me. I’m sure they’re very nice people, and probably kind to small children and animals, which is what counts. But my jaw is still hanging on the floor.
They were very nice people…good, salt-of-the earth types. Couldn’t ask for better customers, sure they were good neighbors too. But some of the fabrics she bought would get most men laughed out of their jobs! Floral prints…not big Hawaiian style prints, but dainty floral/paisleys. Animal prints…kitties and doggies, not leopardskin.
No, delphica - that is scary. It almost sounds like OCD, and there has to be some insecurity/control issues in there. In fact, a book I have just read about healthy relationships pointed out that a healthy couple recognizes that both people are separate people and don’t try to force one person into being like the other.
The people who dress generally alike are a different story - clothing is as much a function of social status and lifestyle as it is of taste. A couple who both like metal music are very likely to end up dressed in matching jeans and Van Halen tees without having any impulse to match.
My SO and I dress similarly sometimes (same color top/bottoms) but not by design. We both have similar taste/styles of clothing and tend not to get dressed in each others company so sometimes it happens.
Sometimes when he, our daughter and I are going out somehwere I’ll have the urge to have us all coordinate. Which means we’ll be wearing if not the same colors (i.e., one person with khaki pants/black top another with khaki top/black pants) then colors/clothes that complement each other.
I kind of like that, aside from satisying my asthetic sensibilities, it feels more cohesive. But it doesn’t happen often - most of time I am more concerned about everybody’s clothes being clean, neat and looking good on their person.
See? That’s my point exactly…it’s not something you list in your profile in a personal ad! Somebody out there has to be related to some of these people and can clue us in to the mating ritual. And I’m not necessarily interested in people like the oddballs above who dress alike everyday. Just those people who can’t seem to go to a game, or a concert, without being all matchy-matchy. Did anyone ever date someone who wanted them to match and they found it icky?
It’s never happend to me. Good thing, as I don’t like to be marked as “territory.”
That’s what it seems like to me; a territorial thing. “Look, we’re a couple! You can tell by our matching Eddie Bauer windbreakers!!” Blech. I think I was seven the last time I though it was cool if my best friend and I had matching outfits.
I don’t care if my SO and I both need windbreakers at the same time, or if we go to the mall together looking for windbreakers. We’re not going to walk out matching.
My boyfriend and I accidentally dressed alike the other day. We both wore dark jeans and orange hoodies (the same shade of orange, I might add), so I made him take his off.
On special occasions I like to coordinate my outfit with my boyfriend’s. It’s nothing particularly wacky - the most I’ve ever done was ask him to wear a burgandy tie on NYE because I was wearing a burgandy skirt. Somebody stop me, I’m out of control.
> Also – in terms of dating – if you have sex on the third date, on
> which date do you start dressing alike?
Usually on the fourth date. You’re so shagged out after sex on the third date that you put on the wrong set of clothes and get weird looks on the way home. In order that it never matters again, you henceforth always dress the same.
I knew these two girls in school, Christy and Christy, who wore matching outfits EVERY day for SEVEN years! One of the Christys told me that even their underwear matched EVERY day!
Couples going to an amusement park or concert, I understand. I wouldn’t do it, but I understand.
But just friends? EVERY day for SEVEN years???
They even went out of their way to have the same name. One Christy was actually a Christine, the other felt that Christy was an acceptable nickname for Carolyn.
“…the other felt that Christy was an acceptable nickname for Carolyn.”
This one still has me laughing.
I think couples that dress alike escaped from the same cult compound only a few days before and don’t have enough creativity or individuality to go around for one person let alone two.
Couples that dress similarly is another story altogether. That is normal and basically expected. Couples that coordinate their outfits are a bit nutty but not really that bad as the ones that dress like clones of eachother.
Take a walk down the Las Vegas Strip sometime.
You see it all.
Quite a few couples dress alike - young and old, gay and straight. Usually the people behind them are pointing and giggling.
But then again, almost every woman who comes to Vegas seems to find it necessary to wear a top stitched with every sequin she could find in a 130 mile radius of her hometown. Often with jaunty matching hat.
The men stick to the basic tanktop and shorts, even when the temperature is 2 degrees above freezing. The fatter the man, the brighter color the tanktop.
But back to the topic - how do they find each other?
I call it the Siegfried and Roy syndrome…living proof two people don’t have to be opposites to attract.
When I was a kid, I’d see the couple in the JCPenney advertisement wearing the matching ski sweaters and think, “That is so neat looking. I hope I have a man to wear matching sweaters with some day.”
But until I read this thread it had probably been years, maybe more than a decade, since the thought last crossed my mind. Still, I don’t see anything at all wrong with couples matching if they want to. Don’t you all think you match out there in SDMB land, when you’re wearing jeans and a tee shirt and your SO is wearing jeans and a tee shirt? It’s not as original as you think.
My husband and I, before we were married, wore matching clothes for ten hours a day or more for years. We were both in the Army. All our friends matched us, too. Nobody was ever embarrassed about it, and we were able to “express our creativity” through speaking, rather than with hairstyles, piercings, and tee shirts with slogans.
My husband would probably refuse to wear matching clothes, and the idea doesn’t seem particularly cool to me anymore. But I wish our costumes would at least coordinate on Halloween.
