Why was the phospherous male cow hot?
Glow-bull warming
What do you get when you cross Hannah Montana with a donkey?
Mule-y Cyrus
An ass that twerks itself?
or: I don’t know either, but I’m not Googling it.
Bumped.
A polar bear walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a beer and… [wait 15 seconds] …a bowl of pretzels.”
The bartender says, “OK, but why the big pause?”
The polar bear looks down and says, “I don’t know, I’ve always had them.”
My six year old loves this one. I created a few more for him to enjoy, keep in mind these are thoroughly enjoyed by a six year old:
Knock knock.
Who’s there.
Interrupting ghost.
Interrupting gho-
BOO!
KK
WT?
Interrupting Santa.
Interrupting San-
HO HO HO!
KK
WT?
Interrupting farmer
Interrupting far-
E-I-E-I-O!
KK
WT?
Interrupting fireworks.
Interrupting fire-
BOOM!
KK
WT?
Interrupting semi.
Interrupting se-
HONK!
And then:
KK
WT?
Daddy
Daddy who?
Excuse me? Don’t get smart. It’s your father, now open the door!
KK
WT?
Woody
Woody who?
Woody you like to know.
KK
WT?
Tanks
Tanks who?
Tanks for opening the door, it’s freezing!
KK
WT?
Laugh at
Laugh at who?
Laugh at me, I’m hilarious!
Q: What do you do if you’re attacked by a gang of clowns?
A: Go for the juggler.
Where does a hedgehog get chilli dogs?
Sonic
That may be too “inside”
What happens when you get a kilobyte?
–It megahertz.
Kilobyte? Megahertz? See above comments about “21st century”.
Why Harry Styles exhausted?
Because Taylor Swift!
Why did Michelle Duggar chop up and snort her aspirin?
She won’t use the pill.
My congressman wanted to stop Obamacare, but under his own proposed new rules, it counted as a pre-existing condition.
Why don’t buffalo use their cell phones much?
Roaming charges
Thank you! My big laugh of the day.
A mom notices her son has written his new password on a Post-It note and stuck it on the computer. The note reads, MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto. She asks, “Why such a long password, Timmy?”
He says, “The computer said it has to have at least four characters.”
A guy notices that his friend has 26 Nooks and asks what that’s all about. The friend explains he has put every book in the world into the Nooks, all alphabetically arranged for each subject.
“What if I want erotica?” asked the friend.
“That’s easy. It’s in Nook E.”
Why did the clown upgrade his smart phone?
He wanted more gigglebytes
Why did the guy delete all the German contacts from his phone? He wanted a Hans-free device
I asked my kid this one, and he immediately shot back on the cloud!That IS a more up-to-date answer! 
I misread that as “How did the guy delete all the German contacts from his phone” and guessed “Herr remover.”
Why did the guy with the wireless headset have to go to the dentist?
He lost his Bluetooth.
That’s a great follow-up! Toll!
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
For Drizzle.