Ha! I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. Maybe I could send her to hang out outside of some Republican lawmakers’ houses. Of course, the police would actually do something about that.
No silly…you need the Haldol blow dart. 
Unless she is presenting a physical danger to herself or others then the police probably can do little more than tell her to quiet down and move on.
I thought that might be the case, in which case I’m doomed, but there are laws against disturbing the peace and such. Not that punishment would get through to her, but if she was arrested maybe they could get her into a hospital or something. Or at least when she left the jail maybe she would stay in that area and not make her way back here.
You know if it was in a nice, residential neighborhood the police would figure something out!
It depends on if her actions are an arrestable offense. Police might only be able to issue a citation on a noise complaint. YMMV
I came in here to post exactly that. Open your window just enough so you can stick your blowpipe through (you have a blowpipe, right?) and hit her up with some all-natural Amazonian somatic tree-frog darts.
All kidding aside, the contacting-the-media idea might be the best way to go. I wouldn’t post anything to YouTube though. If not for the sake of Crazy Screaming Lady, at least for the sake of her relatives.
I was thinking slingshot & firecrackers. Those thumb sized ones with wax on the ends. Light it off a candle once drawn, quickly aim & release. Not too close to her. Let her wonder if it’s a gunshot.
I like the way your friend thinks.
There are people who don’t have blowpipes? I mean, it’s not my weapon of choice, but sometimes you need do the job without making any noise.
No, no, no. Time for a chamberpot.
Go to the police station and talk to them about the problem. If you don’t get satisfaction that way, go with a contingent of neighbors to a city council meeting and make a stink.
Unfortunately every community has its crazy screaming lady (CSL). Quite possibly more than one. And the police are not allowed to lock them up just because they are annoying.
Though the CSL may need mental health care she cannot be involuntarily committed unless she is a danger to herself or others. “Someone is going to hurt her if she doesn’t shut up” doesn’t count. The CSL can refuse to take prescribed medication as well.
If the crazy screaming lady commits an arrestable offence then the police might lock her up. If it is simply a noise complaint/disturbing the peace then that is going to put her away for a day or two at most but probably will not result in her arrest. Then she will be right back at it.
If you throw urine and feces (a chamberpot) or lit fireworks at a CSL then you are probably committing an assault and could be locked up yourself. That could get you away from CSL for a more than a day or two.
The most productive thing the OP could do is to try to encourage the CSL to voluntarily access appropriate mental health care. If your community does not have adequate mental health facilities then that is something to call the media about or complain about to your town council.
“The most productive thing the OP could do is to try to encourage the CSL to voluntarily access appropriate mental health care.”
Yeah, just go out in the street, stroll right up to the screaming psychotic, and politely suggest she go check herself in for competent psychiatric treatment. Do us favor and post video of this attempt. Seriously, Iggy? I thought my fireworks idea was funny, until I read that.
Only if she can tell which window it came from. 
BTW, CSL has not been back since the day of my OP. I hope that means she’s gone for good, but she’s been gone for several days before and did still come back.
She doesn’t even go all that close to my window actually, so I couldn’t throw anything or blowdart anything at her even if I wanted to. If she does keep coming back I might try the video taping her idea, if only so I can get people to feel my pain.
Here’s hoping you have good luck and CSL has moved on.
My opinions are based upon my routine experience fielding complaints calls via 9-1-1 about the mentally ill in our community. Every community of any size has a population of mentally ill persons and some of them engaged in behaviors in public that routinely attract complaints from the public. We have people who wander in the roads, lay down in the roadway, call 9-1-1 dozens of times a night because “they” are out to get him, strip naked in public, and/or cause disturbances in the family home. They all need mental health care and appropriate medication. Few are willing to do so voluntarily (one because the pharmacist is trying to “poison” him).
In my humble experience there is very little that can be done to attempt to deal with the root cause of the problem unless the CSL is willing to cooperate.
The media won’t care. A town council might ask a few questions of the police and then throw up their hands in frustration. The police have their hands tied. If the mentally ill person presents no threat to others or self then the police cannot do anything to forcibly medicate the patient.
If the CSL can respond to conversation, what about asking her if she would like to go on a trip? Take her to the bus/train station, buy her a ticket. . .
Call 911. This time ask for an ambulance and tell them there is a woman outside screaming that she wants to die. Close enough. In fact this may be a backwards attempt, sort of suicide-by-stranger.
I think it means CSL reads the SDMB and saw the OP; could be a Charter Member, maybe a Mod.
But Jaledin’s a dude.
Are we sure?