Total Stranger Screaming and Crying on the Street.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

(It’s been awhile, but here I’m back on the Dope again.)

I go to a writer’s group on Wednesday nights, and last evening there was some commotion as I left the library where we meet. I was with a Serbian lady that I usually give a lift home to since she doesn’t drive. There were three other members leaving the library too, which is on a side street, but not too far from a busy road.

As we walked towards our cars, there was suddenly a loud wail, and crying and screaming after that. A woman clutching a cell phone came around the corner of the building across the street, and she was just howling away.

Well, we just stopped and stared. A couple of other groups walking by did the same. If the others were thinking like me, they were think things like, “Ummmm…what?”

The crying woman was standing in the street now, and a car drove up to her and the driver hollered out the window, “Are you all right? Do you need help?”

The crying woman instantly calmed down a little and started a rambling story (loudly enough for everyone to hear) about some situation at her work, and how it had all blown up and now she had lost her job and so forth.

The driver of the car apparently didn’t want to stay for the whole story, and with some token assurances and lurching of brakes drove off, as we began walking past to our cars.

Once the driver was gone the woman started screaming and crying again.

We were all looking at each other and wondering what to do.

My Serbian friend with me said I should call the police, but I said that the woman hadn’t been attacked or anything, so I didn’t really think it was a matter for the police. My friend got a little miffed at me. (but not that much. We talked pleasantly on the way home.)

We all just got into our cars and drove home.

So, was my Serbian friend right to be annoyed at me? She thought we should at least go and talk to the woman, but I thought she had her cell phone and could talk to anyone she wanted. Yeah, I guess I didn’t want to get involved, but I don’t
think the woman was in any danger or anything. She was just really, really
upset.

The Serbian lady grumbled a little about American culture being so uncaring, and how in Serbia everyone would’ve come out of their houses to help this woman. But like I said, after a minute or two, we were talking like nothing had happened.

Thinking back, I guess I could’ve tried to offer the woman some sympathy since I know what a calamity losing a job can be. But to tell the truth I didn’t want to.
It was late, I wanted to go home, and all the other douchy excuses that apply to this situation were what I have used to salve my conscience since then.

I don’t know. Maybe I could’ve been a better person. But no one else was that much better. Even the person in the car drove away.

Just a little story that maybe I’ll use in our group.

2

TBH, especially if you had no other pressing concerns, I think you had at least a faint obligation to do something. Calling the police would be acceptable–that she’s behaving this way in public makes it plausible to think she could be a danger to someone, and anyway she’s certainly disturbing the peace. If you’re feeling up for the interaction, actually approaching her and helping talk her down (if she turns out to be amenable) wouldn’t be out of the question.

3

I would have been upset with you. And I would have talked to the woman, and then possibly called 911, depending on how the interaction went.

I’ve been in similar situations (as you, not as the upset woman) and I’ve always taken some sort of action. Can’t imagine just walking away and wouldn’t think highly of a companion who simply didn’t want to be bothered.

4

Although the woman hadn’t been attacked - the state of her sounds like someone could easily take advantage of her distress. Maybe she couldn’t get through to someone helpful on the phone and that was the final straw. I think I would have been annoyed at you. We could have spared a few minutes to try to talk her down, maybe she needed to borrow a phone to call someone. Maybe I would have called the police.

5

Yeah, I probably would have tried to help out too…compassion and all that. It seems there’s not much left of it in this world sometimes. :frowning:

However, why couldn’t your Serbian friend try and help? I don’t understand why she was upset with you when she walked away too.

6

I would have done exactly what you did. I guess I am not a good person. However, having once gotten involved with a crazy person screaming and crying on the street, which interaction did not go well (to put it mildly), I am not going to get involved unless someone is bleeding, in which case I will call 911. I don’t think you did wrong.

7

a person that upset might walk in front of a car due to inattention or if driving cause an accident. calling police would be a good thing that might give her some time to settle down.

8

I have called 911 in similar situations, and would again.

Police are trained. Or you could have alerted the librarians. Librarians are also trained to assist distressed people.

You are not trained, therefore it wasn’t your responsibility to intervene, but you could have reached out to someone who could help.

9

You witnessed her reaction to a sincere offer, she didn’t seem to want the assistance but rather to bemoan her righteous woes. Lots of people would be uncomfortable providing the latter, not just you.

Not your finest moment, perhaps, but no need to beat yourself up, I think.

10

You missed an opportunity, OP. You should’ve asked her out on a date!

11

How Serbian was she? I’m picturing really Serbian— knee-high wool socks, little black vest, pounding shots of Slivovitz— but you only said “Serbian” four times, so I may be jumping to easy conclusions.

12

You’re a writer and all you could come up with was, “Ummm…what?”
Your Serbian friend let it go because you’re her ride.

13

Oh, writer’s group jab, is it?

I only brought that up because she thought my heartlessness was American society induced.

She is really freakin’ Serbian though. In the group, she reads all her poems in Serbian even though none of us speak it. We get copies in English to read along.

It’s actually nice to hear them that way.

Actually, I agree, maybe I should’ve called the cops. I’ll remember that if something like that happens to me again.

14

You could have at least tried to get the woman out of the street. She was putting herself in danger by being there, especially while she was in such an emotional, distracted state. You could also try to assess whether the woman was just upset, or was having some sort of psychotic break or severe emotional breakdown. If it was more than just an upset, you could call the police and ask them to do a welfare check.

15

I’d have done the same, OP.

Public hysterics, particularly of the type you describe, are usually a good warning to give the crazy a wide berth.

16

Your story puts me in mind of something somewhat similar that happened to me.

I was filling up at a gas station, and a woman was nearby at the station’s public phone. She seemed to be having an agitated conversation with someone, and started screaming “I’m broke and I just need need money for the rent, godammit!” and then slammed the phone down and started sobbing. I was by myself and the station wasn’t in the safest part of town, so I didn’t engage. I pulled forward and parked around the other side of the station store, and went inside to buy some water.

When I came out, there was a new driver at the pump and the woman was on the phone again - screaming out the same script. It finally clicked; she was trying to grift money out of the customers pulling through the gas station.

Not to suggest that what you experienced was the same scenario, but the experience has made me very suspicious of this kind of public drama.

17

Distressed Lady: “Aggghhhhhh Ohhhhhh Aaaaaghhhh!”

OP: “What’s wrong, can I help?”

DL: "YOU AGAIN! (sprays OP with pepper spray)

OP: “My eyes! Aghhhhh! The pain!”

DL: “YOU BASTARD! YOU ATTACKED ME!”

Crowd forms: “Murmer mutter murmer, call the police…”

OP: (rolling on ground) “AGGGHHHHH!”

(Police arrive) “Hello, Hello, what’s all this then?” (inexcplicably, the police are British)

DL: “HE attacked me! For no reason! He stole my money!”

Police to OP: "Right. Come with us. (Thwack)

OP: AGGGHHHH! OW! AGGGHH!"

Roll credits.

18

I guess I’m a jaded city dweller. Having witnessed the exchange between woman in street and driver, that’s all I need to just move along. People acting like that in public are crazy pants or grifters. Honestly, I probably wouldn’t be able to walk away without muttering something like, “take your shit inside, nobody wants to hear it.”

If Serbian Acquaintance really wanted to help, she would have. It’s easier to admonish someone else. I say that as someone who may also be hitching a ride at any given point, but who has other ways of getting home if I really wanted to do something my ride didn’t. After all, I get around every other day of the week without said ride. I’m sure Serbian Acquaintance is similarly capable.

19

If your friend got upset at you, perhaps you should have let her walk home so she could think it over.

Or, you could have let her take a taxi home.

There was a time when it would have been appropriate to stop and help this lady.

But, today, with all the different kinds of scams happening and violence toward strangers, the extent of “help” would be to call 911 if you witnessed a crime. Otherwise, it really would be appropriate to just walk away.

IMHO, many people would really not appreciate you putting them into contact with police because you thought they needed some help. Half the time, they could have been arrested or jailed for some very stupid reason as a result. If so, you really didn’t do them any favor. So, … just forget about that option. It’s a dumb option.

20

Seen it before. Total scam.