I pit all the presidents of the US since W.G. Harding and Calvin Coolidge. At least they promised nothing (except that Harding promised “normalcy”) and did nothing (except that Coolidge actually delivered normalcy). But what have the later ones done:
Hoover got the US into the Great Depression
Franklin Roosevelt got the US into World War 2
Truman bombed Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and got the US into the Korean War
Eisenhower was the first to send “advisers” to Vietnam
Kennedy got the US into the Vietnam War, nearly got into a war with Cuba
Lyndon Johnson kept the US in the Vietnam War
Nixon – well, we know all about Nixon and his tapes
Ford wasn’t even elected
Carter made a mess of things in Iran
Reagan blew out the deficit
George Bush I went to war in Kuwait
Clinton went to war in Yugoslavia, and got a blow job
George Bush II continued his father’s war in Iraq, and continued Reagan’s work with the deficit.
Bring back one of the great do-nothing presidents!
How did we get this far without a mention of tipping?
Screw you smarmy pretentious bastards who tip 20% of the aftertax total!/Screw you “helpful patron” who tipped a penny and wrote down why on the back of the check, next time you’ll get the spit for free! (instead of being charged 2.75 and having it written on the tab as Mountain Dew)
Starship Troopers is a cinematic masterpiece, and anyone who says otherwise is a kitten-raping, Bush-cock sucking, Sadam-loving, freedom-hating, dingleberry licking fattie named Fattie Fat McFatson.
Women should stop defying God, get back in the kitchen, and spread their legs when their man tells them to, the bitches. It’s their place. And none of this backtalk, either. They should be glad that a man is willing to take their parasitic ass in. They should praise him as God intended, as God’s appointed viceroy over them, the sinful Daughters of Eve.
Some retarded cocksucker was trying to gyp Wal-Mart out of a couple bucks on this package of faggy little dago-T’s (as if he had a Chinaman’s chance of Jewing down Wal-Mart on anything), and the balloon-assed white trash cashier started getting on the rag about how he was being a total cunt, and the Pigs ended up hauling him away in a paddy wagon. Man, I hate getting stuck in line when that happens.
I am sick to fuckin death of alla you know-it-all dickless bunny fucking dopers who think you know everything and hang around at your stupid fucking dope dicking fuck fests like you are Og almighty. I’m fucking outta here!
I pit people who hate telemarketing! Telemarketers are people, too! It’s a legitimate business enterprise and you should have no problem with them calling you at whatever hours are typically the most successful for the company! If you don’t want to talk to a telemarketer, don’t answer the phone! Furthermore, owning a phone means you implicitly invite telemarketers to call you at anytime! Telemarketers should have access to cell phone numbers!
(*Does not represent the opinion of the employees at Knorf ™ Enterprises. Neither does cat squishing. I hope this goes without saying…)
People complain when you compare Bush and Hitler that it’s unfair, that they aren’t they same, and they’re right. Bush lacks Hitler’s vision, his will to succeed. Bush simply lacks Hitler’s good points; that’s the difference.
I will not let anyone in my house wearing shoes. Wearing shoes inside private homes is rude.
[SUB]What? We had a zillion-page meltdown over that once.[/SUB]
Picky eaters ought to be shot. Especially vegetarians. Oh, and anyone with any kind of religious food laws, too. They should all just grow up. Also, allergies arem’t real and are just an attention grab.
Some bitch had a go at me just because I parked in the disabled spot! I told her that the other spots were all the way over there, and she didn’t care! Just started bitching about me not having a disabled sticker. I told her that in these shoes, I practically am disabled. She stormed off! Fucking cunt.
I was only going to be 5 minutes anyway. At least I would have, but I bumped into Cindy. I hadn’t seen her in ages so we had to have cigarettes outside while she told me all about her pregnancy. I’d run out, so I bummed one off her.
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