Creation Science Fair??? WTF

Okay, I am of the school that thinks creationist science is a bunch of BS, but being also of the school that thinks one can think what one likes I have no problems with it. Until this morning that is.

This web site: http://objective.jesussave.us/creationsciencefair.html just showed me how backwards and fucked up these people can be.

The sight is listing out the winning “Experiments” from the 2001 Fellowship Baptist Creation Science Fair. Let me quote you some

And my personal favorite:

Jumping Jesus in a pot of jambalaya Christ all mighty. How can people condone and encourage this kind of thinking? ARRRGGGGG!!! NOT THE CHILDREN!!! ME MAD!!! ME SMASH YOU INTO GOO!!!

That’s fucked up.

I’ll bet the experiments on evolution were great.

Disproving Evolution:

June 1st: Start with housecat.
June 2nd: Still just a cat.
June 3rd: Still just a cat.
June 4th: Still just a cat.
June 5th: Still just a cat.

Even if you extrapolate these results out 100 million years, you will still have just a cat. Thus, evolution is not true.

Damn, I missed it… I had a great project where I did my own alien autopsy… shaky black and white video, and everything…

Of course it didn’t work, I bet the little snot completely forgot the crazy hair, goggles, Jacob’s ladder, and the big table where she can scream “It’s alive, it’s alive!” when the little charcoal briquet finally got up and started dancing around singing old showtoons.

Stupid kids these days.

I’d like to see the projects that fail. I bet they’re a bunch of microscopic civilizations inside a bottle, filled with tiny little dinosaurs eating a bunch of idol-worshipping heathens. “Sorry, Billy, you flunk.”

Yeah but did you see this?

That about this:

Poor gerbils. You know what they say though…

Creation science is a cruel mistress.

My favorite is the elementary school award given to a little girl who proves that her uncle Steve in not a monkey (thus disproving evolution.)

The funny thing is that Steve does look like a monkey.

Now there’s some real evolution — eyes that can make lists! :smiley:

[sub]Sorry. Couldn’t resist.[/sub]

I wish I could see the “thermodynamics of hellfire” exhibit, though.

I would really like to know what’s waiting for me.

…repeats, “Tell me this is a joke…” three times with fingers crossed…

The scientific problems with every “project” are so fundamental that the thought of trying to teach these kids real science in the future is just mindboggling.

I don’t even know what to say, except that I really really wish they had included the details of:

I can’t wait till I get my Nobel for “The Flintstones prove man and dinosaur lived and worked together”.

The website is a hoax. It’s done by the same people who do the Landover Baptist site.

Man, I’ve seen some parodies in my day, but this one is incredible.

quote:

2nd Place: “Pine Cones Are Complicated”
David Block and Trevor Murry (grades 4) showed how specifically complicated pine cones are and how they reveal God’s design in nature.


They were going to present a snowflake as proof, but the damn thing kept melting…

Whoa! Repeating a wish three times with fingers crossed makes it come true!

That’s it, I’m founding a new Church of the Fingers Crossed. Any takers?

You’ve just seen proof! Proof, I say!

[trombone]Waa-waa-waa-waaaaaaahhh…[/trombone]

I really thought you had all been whooshed, but no - the site is horribly earnest.

Elsewhere on the site on their page campaigning to close down the Landover Baptist site:

Bwahahaha! These are absolutely hilarious.

The scary thing is how easy it would be to believe this is real.

That’s what’s so brilliant about it. It always just skirts the edges of plausibility.

All the parody sites launched by the Landover Baptist people are part of the “Landover Baptist Shutdown” campaign. It’s a parody within a parody. It’s getting just a little old if you ask me.

I’m still not convinced it’s a joke. The links are to real Christian sites. Other than the science fair the other articles are not as obviously jokes as the ones on Landover are.

It’s a hoax. The site has been around for quite awhile…I started a thread about it probably a year ago.