Creation Science Fair??? WTF

[MrTuffPaws]

Okay, I am of the school that thinks creationist science is a bunch of BS, but being also of the school that thinks one can think what one likes I have no problems with it. Until this morning that is.

This web site: http://objective.jesussave.us/creationsciencefair.html just showed me how backwards and fucked up these people can be.

The sight is listing out the winning “Experiments” from the 2001 Fellowship Baptist Creation Science Fair. Let me quote you some

1st Place: "Life Doesn’t Come From Non-Life"
Patricia Lewis (grade 8) did an experiment to see if life can evolve from non-life. Patricia placed all the non-living ingredients of life - carbon (a charcoal briquet), purified water, and assorted minerals (a multi-vitamin) - into a sealed glass jar. The jar was left undisturbed, being exposed only to sunlight, for three weeks. (Patricia also prayed to God not to do anything miraculous during the course of the experiment, so as not to disqualify the findings.) No life evolved. This shows that life cannot come from non-life through natural processes.

And my personal favorite:

2nd Place: "Women Were Designed For Homemaking"
Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.

Jumping Jesus in a pot of jambalaya Christ all mighty. How can people condone and encourage this kind of thinking? ARRRGGGGG!!! NOT THE CHILDREN!!! ME MAD!!! ME SMASH YOU INTO GOO!!!

[cuauhtemoc]

That’s fucked up.

[Giraffe]

I’ll bet the experiments on evolution were great.

Disproving Evolution:

June 1st: Start with housecat.
June 2nd: Still just a cat.
June 3rd: Still just a cat.
June 4th: Still just a cat.
June 5th: Still just a cat.

Even if you extrapolate these results out 100 million years, you will still have just a cat. Thus, evolution is not true.

[butter_pie]

Damn, I missed it… I had a great project where I did my own alien autopsy… shaky black and white video, and everything…

Patricia Lewis (grade 8) did an experiment to see if life can evolve from non-life. Patricia placed all the non-living ingredients of life - carbon (a charcoal briquet), purified water, and assorted minerals (a multi-vitamin) - into a sealed glass jar. The jar was left undisturbed, being exposed only to sunlight, for three weeks. (Patricia also prayed to God not to do anything miraculous during the course of the experiment, so as not to disqualify the findings.) No life evolved. This shows that life cannot come from non-life through natural processes.

Of course it didn’t work, I bet the little snot completely forgot the crazy hair, goggles, Jacob’s ladder, and the big table where she can scream “It’s alive, it’s alive!” when the little charcoal briquet finally got up and started dancing around singing old showtoons.

Stupid kids these days.

[Munch]

I’d like to see the projects that fail. I bet they’re a bunch of microscopic civilizations inside a bottle, filled with tiny little dinosaurs eating a bunch of idol-worshipping heathens. “Sorry, Billy, you flunk.”

[Scylla]

Yeah but did you see this?

1st Place: “Using Prayer To Microevolve Latent Antibiotic Resistance In Bacteria”
Eileen Hyde and Lynda Morgan (grades 10 & 11) did a project showing how the power of prayer can unlock the latent genes in bacteria, allowing them to microevolve antibiotic resistance. Escherichia coli bacteria cultured in agar filled petri dishes were subjected to the antibiotics tetracycline and chlorotetracycline. The bacteria cultures were divided into two groups, one group (A) received prayer while the other (B) didn’t. The prayer was as follows: “Dear Lord, please allow the bacteria in Group A to unlock the antibiotic-resistant genes that You saw fit to give them at the time of Creation. Amen.” The process was repeated for five generations, with the prayer being given at the start of each generation. In the end, Group A was significantly more resistant than Group B to both antibiotics.

That about this:

2nd Place: “Maximal Packing Of Rodentia Kinds: A Feasibility Study”
Jason Spinter’s (grade 12) project was to show the feasibility of Noah’s Ark using a Rodentia research model (made of a mixture of hamsters and gerbils) as a representative of diluvian life forms. The Rodentia were placed in a cage with dimensions proportional to a section of the Ark. The number of Rodentia used (58) was calculated using available Creation Science research and was based on the median animal size and their volumetric distribution in the Ark. The cage was also fitted with wooden dowls inserted at regular intervals through the cage walls, forming platforms which provided support for the Rodentia. Although there was little room left in the cage, all Rodentia were able to move just enough to ward off muscle atrophy. Food pellets and water were delivered to sub-surface Rodentia via plastic drinking straws inserted into the Rodentia-mass, which also served to allow internal air flow. Once a day, the cage was sprayed with water to cleanse any built-up waste. Additionally, the cage was suspended on bungie cords to simulate the rocking motion of a ship. The study lasted 30 days and 30 nights, with all Rodentia surviving at least long enough afterwards to allow for reproduction. These findings strongly suggest that Noah’s Ark could hold and support representatives of all antediluvian animal kinds for the duration of the Flood and subsequent repopulation of the Earth.

Poor gerbils. You know what they say though…

Creation science is a cruel mistress.

My favorite is the elementary school award given to a little girl who proves that her uncle Steve in not a monkey (thus disproving evolution.)

The funny thing is that Steve does look like a monkey.

[Liberal]

The sight is listing out the winning “Experiments” from the 2001 Fellowship Baptist Creation Science Fair.

Now there’s some real evolution — eyes that can make lists!

[sub]Sorry. Couldn’t resist.[/sub]

[Scylla]

I wish I could see the “thermodynamics of hellfire” exhibit, though.

I would really like to know what’s waiting for me.

[LilyoftheValley]

…repeats, “Tell me this is a joke…” three times with fingers crossed…

The scientific problems with every “project” are so fundamental that the thought of trying to teach these kids real science in the future is just mindboggling.

I don’t even know what to say, except that I really really wish they had included the details of:

Honorable Mention: “Pokemon Prove Evolutionism Is False” - Paul Sanborn (grade 4)

I can’t wait till I get my Nobel for “The Flintstones prove man and dinosaur lived and worked together”.

[Diogenes_the_Cynic]

The website is a hoax. It’s done by the same people who do the Landover Baptist site.

[5_time_champ]

Man, I’ve seen some parodies in my day, but this one is incredible.

[Blonde]

quote:

2nd Place: “Pine Cones Are Complicated”
David Block and Trevor Murry (grades 4) showed how specifically complicated pine cones are and how they reveal God’s design in nature.

---

They were going to present a snowflake as proof, but the damn thing kept melting…

[LilyoftheValley]

Whoa! Repeating a wish three times with fingers crossed makes it come true!

That’s it, I’m founding a new Church of the Fingers Crossed. Any takers?

You’ve just seen proof! Proof, I say!

[cuauhtemoc]

[trombone]Waa-waa-waa-waaaaaaahhh…[/trombone]

[amarone]

I really thought you had all been whooshed, but no - the site is horribly earnest.

Elsewhere on the site on their page campaigning to close down the Landover Baptist site:

The Internet was created by the United States of America - a Christian nation [ref. 1, 2, 3] - and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hatespeech. This is our Internet, and we should exercise our position as its owners and as the guardians of civilization to stop its misuse.

[Tanaqui]

Bwahahaha! These are absolutely hilarious.

1st Place: “My Uncle Is A Man Named Steve (Not A Monkey)”
Cassidy Turnbull (grade 5) presented her uncle, Steve. She also showed photographs of monkeys and invited fairgoers to note the differences between her uncle and the monkeys. She tried to feed her uncle bananas, but he declined to eat them. Cassidy has conclusively shown that her uncle is no monkey.

“Rocks Can’t Evolve, Where Did They Come From Mr. Darwin?” - Anna Reed (grade 6)

The scary thing is how easy it would be to believe this is real.

[Diogenes_the_Cynic]

The scary thing is how easy it would be to believe this is real.

That’s what’s so brilliant about it. It always just skirts the edges of plausibility.

[cuauhtemoc]

*Originally posted by amarone *
**I really thought you had all been whooshed, but no - the site is horribly earnest.

Elsewhere on the site on their page campaigning to close down the Landover Baptist site: **

All the parody sites launched by the Landover Baptist people are part of the “Landover Baptist Shutdown” campaign. It’s a parody within a parody. It’s getting just a little old if you ask me.

[dropzone]

I’m still not convinced it’s a joke. The links are to real Christian sites. Other than the science fair the other articles are not as obviously jokes as the ones on Landover are.

[beagledave]

*Originally posted by dropzone *
**I’m still not convinced it’s a joke. The links are to real Christian sites. Other than the science fair the other articles are not as obviously jokes as the ones on Landover are. **

It’s a hoax. The site has been around for quite awhile…I started a thread about it probably a year ago.