Creationism does not belong in Science class

Scene: A Science class in an American School (near future)…

“Settle down, everyone. The quicker we get started, the quicker you will receive God’s blessing.
We shall start by repeating the basic scientific truth ‘Jesus is God and we worship Him.’”

“Please Miss, isn’t that like a prayer? My Mum says Church and State are separate.”

“Washington, your Mother talks about things she doesn’t understand. This is Science - which cannot be questioned. Anyway it’s not a prayer – just a fact.
Now open your Science textbooks to Chapter 2. It states that ‘And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made’. So this shows us three facts:

  • God created the World
  • it took just six days
  • so-called dinosaurs did not exist.”

“Miss, my Dad’s a Palaeontologist.”

“What’s that, Crichton?”

“He digs up things and learns about the past. He says the evidence is that dinosaurs lived for millions of years, before men came.”

“That’s just silly. In Chapter 1 of your Science book, it says God created great animals on the fifth day. Within a few days He created men.
Your Dad needs to understand that all the evidence we’ll ever need is in the Holy Textbook. Any ‘evidence’ your Dad has was planted by Satan.

“Miss, my Dad agrees with the evidence. He tells me about evolution.”

“Lord protect us! Darwin, that is a crazy evil heretical lie and has nothing to do with Science. Your Dad doesn’t want to burn in Hell forever, does he?”

“Miss, I’ve been thinking. You said that Jesus was God – but my religion says the Messiah hasn’t come yet.”

“This is a Science class, Abraham. We don’t discuss religious myths here.”

Needs Jack Chick illustrations


Hope you wore your asbestos underwear. This message board does not take kindly to anti-Creationist slander.

Creationists deserve nothing less than to be ridiculed until their dying breath, unless they recant and admit it’s turtles all the way down.

I’ve nothing to add except… yep

That last line is beautiful.

And did anything spark this off, or is it just random-snark-at-religion time? I haven’t checked my watch lately.

Making creationists cartoon bad guys does not help the argument any more than Jack Chick comics showing non-creationists as mustachioed devil worshippers with bushy eyebrows and bad teeth who cackle “Har! Har! Har!”.

Non-believer = Satan supporter. Hmmm…that’s an interesting concept.

You don’t even need to lampoon creationists, like Scientologists, all you have to do is state their beliefs and laugh your ass off.

Sure it does. These jokers need to be ridiculed every chance we get. Besides, we are doing them a favor by feeding their martyr complexes. :smiley:

Blasphemer! It’s turtles on elephants on mice on okapis on…

Don’t feed the martyrs!

Who said they were advancing the argument? Ridiculing the ridiculous is a noble pursuit on its own. IDiots tend to be pretty immune to argument anyway.

I don’t think keeping religious myths out of science class is snarky.
Also stating that Creationism is not science is a fact.
The Church of England, the Catholic Church, the Royal Society (and probably the ghost of Galileo :eek:) all agree with me.

As for timing, we have both Governor Palin and this:

Sep 17th - The Royal Society’s embattled director of education resigned last night, days after causing uproar among scientists by appearing to endorse the teaching of creationism.

Which follows this lamentable stuff:

The move is in response to a campaign by Christian group ‘Truth in Science’ which last summer sent every school DVDs promoting intelligent design (ID), a Creationism offshoot, in a bid to get it taught.

Pupils taking Biology GCSE with exam board OCR this year became the first students in mainstream education to answer questions on the theory in a science exam.

What if we make creationists on fire?

Would that help?

You’re way off! My teeth aren’t that bad and my evil laugh is more like “BWAHAHAHA”.

I think that both evolution and ID should be taught in schools. It might look something like this:

Evolution: Change in the genetic composition of a population during successive generations, as a result of natural selection acting on the genetic variation among individuals, and resulting in the development of new species.

ID: Nuh uh!

A vote for nobody is a vote for Satan!