Creative Invective In A Chatroom

In Praise of jarbaby

Well, I hate to praise anyone in the Pit, but I must.
I went to a chatroom on Excite that I have not visited in many months. It is a Political chatroom, but I found it has degenerated into a forum for bigoted, racist assholes.

As I was trying to join in conversation in the room, I found myself increasingly getting yelled at and cut off.

So I decided to engage in “creative invective” as I have learned here. The following is fiction, but you will get the idea.

Asshole 1: Well, the dam (insert favorite ethnic slur) are taking over the world.
Me: What proof do you have to back up that assertion?
A1: fuck you
Me: back at you, you goat felching, monkey fucking cum droplet!
A1: Huh? WTF?
Me: You heard me, you weasel sniffing, rat licking shitball!
A1: Uh…
Somebody Else: Cool band name!
A1: You are fucking nuts.
Me: As are you, you slime sucking, pus riddled excuse for a pimple on my fat ass!
Somebody Else: “Wow, A1 left the room!”
Me: Good, now maybe we can have some intelligent discourse.

I realize that was juvenile, and didn’t really fight ignorance, but it’s a Friday night, and I couldn’t resist.

(I would post the log of the actual chat, but that would violate privacy)


I do this same sort of thing every time I play Counterstrike. Whenever someone acts like an asshole, I always let rip with the “Cum-marinated dish of Kentucky-Fried-Horseshit” or “Congealing sack of rancid hobbit semen”.

You’d think that the SDMB was the only place on Earth where people learned how to insult people with something more than “Asshole”, “Fag” (an overused expression among the lesser-class insulters), and “Fucker”.

“rancid hobbit semen”!

I am in awe! I don’t think jarbaby herself has heard that one yet.

Well, IANAL, but I highly doubt posting the trascript will violate privacy. First, everyone is completely anonymous. Second, they posted it out where everyone could see it. Third, I highly doubt their words were copyrighted. Fourth, even if they were, you played a part in their origination. Fifth, um, education is one of the many fair uses. Educate us.

If you don’t want to violate privacy, just change the names on the transcript. Come on! It could be interesting…

Speaking of online games…

Is it just me, or is calling someone/something gay the only “insult” most people who play Team Fortress Classic know of? I’m so fucking tired of playing with people who seem to have the mental state of a two-year-old. In fact, from now on, my official insult will be “homophobe”. Bwahaha…

POST IT, you stinking jug of wookiee smegma!



*btw; what’s a wookie?

Chewbacca is a wookie, daff. You know, like in the movie Star Wars, the big hairy chap?

[Star Wars geek]
Note that “wookiee” is spelled with 2 e’s.
[/Star Wars geek]

Same with Counterstrike, Diablo 2, Quake 3, Unreal Tournament, and any other game that is played online. Like I said, the SDMB is the last bastion of creative insults. Cecil’s next book should be a collection of such gems that are routinely hurled about the Pit.

Yes! Yes yesss!!!
Some guy in a Deus Ex online game was whining about getting shot, so I simply suggested that he needed a hug. He immediately began to sound forth on my sexuality. So I asked him if he was fourteen, and he was freaked out. Thought I’d been reading his hard drive or something.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

You’d be suprised. I’ve only seen insults in a Quake III game once, and then it was limited to one person.

Actually, last year I frequented a Nirvana message board on AOL which had the same degree of insult-slinging with a flair for creativity. I swear that some of the people on that board must have been here before.

Well, you have to remember that in a Quake III game, people can’t stop and type. In Counterstrike, D2, etc. they can.

Actually, you can. If I press “t” (for “talk”) or bring down the console, a little “:)…” icon appears above my head. Usually, no one will shoot at me(or anyone else who does this). Only a first-class lamer would, which would cause said cowardly putrefied vaginal fluid drinker to become my favorite target.
Or, you can type something before you respawn.

It’s REALLY funny in Counterstrike, because there’s a period of two or three minutes between matches where the people who die early get to rant and rave. They always complain about the “fucking campers” (thing is, in Counterstrike, “camping” is part of the game), the “fucking AWP” (oh, horrors, someone has a sniper rifle… there’re ways around that, you know!), or the “fucking cheaters” (half the time, the supposed “cheater” is just someone who’s doing good). There’s a lot of tough talk during these moments, but a little bit of pushing can show that they’re just full of shit.

It’s amusing…

One of the main reasons I don’t play Counterstrike. :slight_smile:

At least people don’t take much shit for being LPBs anymore. Back when I was playing Quake 1 on my college T3, I had both a good connection and some serious fragging skill. :wink: I took all sorts of shit for that, even on LPB servers.

Now everyone and his mother has broadband. Except me. :frowning: So for once I get to experience HPB-dom.


Hell, it’s one of the main reasons I do.