Creepiest Commercials

[Thudlow_Boink]

The singing belly buttons from a few years ago (advertising low-cut jeans??) were creepy.

And I thought there was something kinda creepy about the battery-powered family in the Duracell (??) ads (also a few years ago).

[Silentgoldfish]

@lieu

The ones where they’re encouraging parents to take out a life insurance policy on their child. There’s some situations where reassurances of financial reimbursement could’t possibly even be a consideration, thank you very much.

I gotta say, that’s so tasteless it’s hilarious! It sounds like something off a sketch comedy show.

Then again I found the list detailing the payments my parents got if I got injured when I went to a private high school (for six godawful months) funny too: I believe it was 80 grand a limb and 400 grand for death, or something like that.

[Honey]

@Biggirl

That Brawny commercial. Do the makers of Brawny want me to clean with the paper towels or masterbate with them? The cleaning up of the big, white dollop of “frosting” goes beyond suggestion.

That’s the one that freaks me out. “Somebody’s been a naughty boy”, “Happy Birthday to you Mrs. Parker” Ick. That guy has psycho killer written all over him.

[mobo85]

@h.sapiens

And the “Eat Beef” Boston Market commercial. I just can’t watch that woman chowing down on a big ol’ piece of cow flesh. Yuck.

I think it was Time that pointed out that the lyrics of Eat Steak go on to comment on how cows are chopped up and made into steak. Obviously, those lines aren’t used in the commercial.

@Zebra

Those faces are hard and you’ll hurt your hand. Kick them in the shins and run.

Why not just hit them in the groin with a baseball bat? Preferably a wooden one…kids today with their aluminum this and their George W. that…

[Little_Wing]

@Honey

That’s the one that freaks me out. “Somebody’s been a naughty boy”, “Happy Birthday to you Mrs. Parker” Ick. That guy has psycho killer written all over him.

If you happen to catch the full version of this commercial, at the end, as creepy guy is walking towards the camera, you’ll see him, ahhh…well, let’s just say that a cute puppy and a birthday cake isn’t the only thing Mrs. Parker will be getting. This was something that was pointed out on another message board. I had never noticed it before but now I can’t look away.

[Runestar]

@h.sapiens

The stupid talking baby on the Quizno’s commercials.

A second vote for the talking Quizno’s baby. Man, he just freaks me out - especially in the one ad where he’s sitting poolside and seems to be hitting on the woman next to him.

[Honey]

@Little Wing

If you happen to catch the full version of this commercial, at the end, as creepy guy is walking towards the camera, you’ll see him, ahhh…well, let’s just say that a cute puppy and a birthday cake isn’t the only thing Mrs. Parker will be getting. This was something that was pointed out on another message board. I had never noticed it before but now I can’t look away.

I’ve seen the full version. When I see it again I’ll be looking for Mrs. Parker’s 3rd gift.

[Max_Torque]

This one was so twisted that, after seeing it only once, I still remember it years later. It was a PSA for safe sex.

The ad started with a young couple in their underwear, on a large spread of white sheets, kissing and clearly getting things started. Suddenly, from around the perimeter of the sheets, other men and women start crawling toward them, clearly representing their past lovers. The couple looks down, and find that there are shackles on their ankles. The shackles are connected to the ankles of their past lovers, with clear plastic tubing running between them. A red fluid starts to flow down the tubing.

And, that’s pretty much the ad. “Remember, you swapped germs with all these nasty people in the past, and so did your new lover.” Pretty chilling way to deliver the message.

[Millit_the_Frail]

I don’t exactly know why, but I hate, hate, hate the America’s Best ads. The disjointed movement and giant photographic heads on tiny animated bodies thing creeps me out. They’re all grinning to beat the band, but their faces don’t actually move, they just jump from one expression to the next. Eeeee.

[astro]

The little car that loved kitties and birdies.

[wonky]

I can’t watch the smoothie commercial. And there’s another one that I find really disturbing but I can’t remember what it is. I’m blocking it out.

[Anne_Neville]

@Little Wing

a cute puppy and a birthday cake

This commercial bothers me for another reason:

Pets do not make good gifts, and I don’t like to see anything that encourages people to think that surprising someone with a puppy or a kitten for their birthday or Christmas is a good idea.

[5que]

@Millit the Frail

I don’t exactly know why, but I hate, hate, hate the America’s Best ads.

A-MEN! Plus there is the one where the store falls on the guy, and his legs stick out and keep “twitching.”

Yeah on the smoothie commercial too.

But I like Enzyte Bob, because I make a game of trying to count how many things are sticking up in the background. Subtle, I tells ya!

[Infovore]

My two are both older:

1. A Quizno’s ad from a couple years back showing how dedicated the Quizno’s cook was to making sandwiches, to the point where he ignored everything else in his life–including his pet bird, which was shown keeling over in its cage. That one always creeped me out and made me sad thinking about how that poor bird must have suffered in the hands of this idiot. (Yeah, I know it’s just a commercial and a stunt bird–it still bothered me.)

2. Anybody else remember Herb? The King wasn’t the first creepy mascot BK tried.

[Infovore]

@Chanteuse

That new Bailey’s Irish Cream commercial–the woman wants that last drop of Bailey’s hanging from the bottle, but instead of just swiping it with her finger, she lays back with her mouth open wide so the bartender can pour it in (someone else catches the drop in his glass before it reaches her mouth). Yeah, yeah, I get the blow job reference, but that ain’t what I want to imagine when I’m drinking.

(OK, giving or getting head, maybe–drinking jizz from a bottle, no thanks!)

Oh, good–it’s not just me with a dirty mind. That commercial squicks me out ever time I see it!

[Beadalin]

astro sez:
The little car that loved kitties and birdies.

Wow. I actually regret watching that.

[Dung_Beetle]

@5que

But I like Enzyte Bob, because I make a game of trying to count how many things are sticking up in the background. Subtle, I tells ya!

Oh, good. I thought I was Bob’s only fan.

[priapus]

Johnny Cochran,the lawyer,died last year (I think it was last year).Anyway,his law firm inserts him into their commercials,ala, Forrest Gump.Yikes,dead man walking,indeed

[Skywatcher]

@CalMeacham

The recent commercials for Burger King and Quaker Oats with those oversized, immobile plastic faces are way beyiond creepy. If I saw one of those suddenly appear in front of me, I’d instinctively punch them in the face and run.

At least the Quaker Oats guy is just statue.

[ryobserver]

I’ve actually been fascinated by the Enzyte ads ever since I noticed that “Bob”'s wife in the ads looks almost exactly like “Bob” in drag. What sort of narcissistic paramasturbatory message does that send?