creeps with no pride, leave me alone

I’m sure you’re a great guy, really. Everytime you see me hurrying on my way to the office, you flag me down so that you can say something nice to me. You’re friendly and that’s good. I could stand to be more outwardly friendly myself, and it sucks sometimes that I’m not. There’s probably whole legions of people who think I’m some icy bitch because of that flaw of mine. And yet I still make an effort to exchange a quick pleasantry with you. When I see you, I smile and am cordial. But nothing more than that.

So when are you going to take the hint that I don’t want to have lunch with you? How many times do I need to blow you off on a request for lunch before you realize that I DON’T FREAKING WANT TO HAVE LUNCH WITH YOU? You look to be in your late 60’s (I dunno, I suck at aging people, but you look like you have at least 30 years on me), so obviously you’re not new to the game here, buddy 'o mine. So I’m wondering why you’re so clueless.

Get this: When you have to assail a woman 20-some odd times with the same question and you always get an answer you don’t want (“I don’t really ever take lunch.” “I’m really very busy.” “I eat on the go, sorry.”) then perhaps, just perhaps, she doesn’t want to have lunch with your ass and you should stop fuckin’ harrassing her. She doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by saying “Hell to the naw” with a scrunched up expression on her face, as if she just got a whiff of hot sewage. Her prefered method of saying no is more oblique than that. Should this woman grow some ovaries and just say no accompanied with body language that more explicity communicates what she is feeling? Yeah she should, cuz obviously the more subtle stuff ain’t sinking in. But just like being outwardly friendly sometimes is a challenge for her, sometimes being outwardly blunt is as well. She’s relying on you to TAKE A MOTHERFUCKING HINT so that she doesn’t have to stomp on your pride. Why oh why can’t you stop while you’re ahead?

You are harrassing me now. I went to grab some chips from the store downstairs and here comes you, following me right into the stairwell. I hadn’t seen you in a week and I didn’t even think to wonder whether you’d ask me about lunch again. I just thought you were going to talk about the weather or some shit like that. But noooooooo. No sooner than the second flight of stairs, you start bugging me again. Quite pointedly, with no smile on my face, I say “You’re quite persistent, aren’t you?” You know what that was? That was your cue to SHUT UP. But you didn’t take it. You plowed right along as if you didn’t understand that “you’re quite persistent, aren’t you?” is a polite way of calling you an obnoxious creep who needs to get hit with some clue-by-fours. Do I need to get a sharpy and spell all of this out to you on your hand?

Actually, I pit myself. Not you. Because when I came to my suite and you stood there waiting for my response like some dog waiting for a biscuit, I didn’t tell you to fuck off like I should have. I didn’t even say a flat-out, unequivocal no. I stood there for a couple seconds thinking of some nice way of blowing you off again, as if you even deserve that consideration, and I threw you some lame excuse. Just to get you to go away. But if the past is any indication, this excuse will only buy me temporary relief. I won’t be surprised if you bother me again next week.

And why is it that I run into you so often anyway? We don’t even work for the same agency and yet I seem to “randomly” stumble across your path more than anyone else in this 10-story building. You’re either stalking me or you’re spending too much time in the lobby or in front of the elevators, not doing any work. God, I hope you’re retiring soon.

Sorry about that. But you’re so FINE.

Why do some guys persist even after being told “no” many times? Because sometimes it works.

You need to quit beating around the bush and be upfront with him. Stop trying to get him to “take a hint”. Just say that you are not interested in having lunch with him EVER. Leave no room open for interpretation.

You probably need to tell him something like “Look, the answer is no. It has always been no, and always will. Please stop asking.”

Creeps With No Pride sounds like an Indian name from a Thomas Berger novel.

I’d get on board with the OP, but I generally have little sympathy for attractive women whose biggest problem is being too attractive. More people should be so burdened.

Time to stop with the oblique excuses and just no. Nancy Reagan would be proud.

But unwanted attention is STILL unwanted attention. Even ugly women don’t want to be harrassed.

And how do you know the OP’s biggest problem is being too attractive? She could be butt-ass ugly, for all you know.* Stalker Man might have a fetish for butt-ass faces.

*the OP isn’t ugly. But she ain’t all that either :wink:



Just on the off-chance that he is stalking you, now is definitely the time to put it in words of one syllable: “I don’t want to have lunch with you.” And if he persists, then add, “Not today–not ever. I am not interested.” You gotta be blunt.

Or, as Ann Landers once put it, nobody can use you for a doormat without your permission. :wink:

It really isn’t as fun as it sounds.

However, men just don’t take hints. Tell him in no uncertain terms, but be nice.

Go to lunch with him. Order everything on the menu. Belch, pick your nose and chew with your mouth open. Nevermind, it might turn him on.

Some people can’t get a clue of their life depended on it. I doubt if insulting him would help.

A guy asked me to dance once and when I said no thanks he asked if I had my period and maybe I didn’t feel well. :rolleyes: I said NO, I don’t want to dance with YOU. He asked me again a few songs later.

Hozzabout dinner with moi? According to my math I’m a mere decade older than you.

Tony Roma’s OK by you?

Oh please. She isn’t saying she’s beating guys off with a stick. She’s got a legitimate problem with one dude who won’t take a hint.

PS-Caridwen, afraid I’m not going to extend the same invitation to you. Surely you can understand why. :stuck_out_tongue:

A way to squirrel out of this, ywtf, is to make it clear that you’re off the market, whether you are or not. Of course honesty is always the best policy, but if you don’t want to have to do the “I DO NOT LIKE YOU, PLEASE FUCK OFF” conversation, perhaps dropping in “I only go to lunch with my partner” or summat like that might be the clue 2x4 that this clod needs to be whacked by…

Peripheral people and creeps don’t necessarily deserve honesty or frankness. I like to be honest and straight up with people as much as possible, but I have no problem lying to people to stop them from harassing or annoying me. (Of course, as a guy, I don’t think I’m as likely to have this problem as you.)

Wait a sec…you’re attractive, single, in your 30s, and you live here in PG county? How YOU doin’?

The thing that sucks about this admittedly minor (but still very annoying) situation is that this particular Creep with No Pride inevitably will ask for an explanation behind my explicit refusal. Being the prideless creep that he is, a simple “no” could never be enough. He’ll demand to know why. So I will have to pony up more bitchiness (because this is what it feels like to me) and be brutally honest. And that is very hard for me to do. whimper

And doing this inevitably means that each time I run into him, there will be a whole bunch of akwardness and a bi-directional flow of bad feelings. Every morning will start with me worrying about seeing him and dealing with tension. I don’t need that mess!

It sounds passive of me to insist that he “gets the hint”, but if he could manage to do that, then maybe we could keep things cordial between us. I won’t want to hide everytime I see him and he could still keep his pride intact. Seems real simple to me and I’m just a wee gal of 29. Why is a 60-something year old man unable to figure this out?

Because you haven’t come right out and said no. Also because (in your own words) you make an effort to exchange pleasantries with him. He chooses to interpret those things as ‘Not today, but maybe another time.’

Basically, you have two choices here. You can continue the hint game which he will likely never get and be miserable about the situation. Or you can take control of the issue and tell him no. You can even be nice about it, but you need to be clear.

Really its up to you. But I would suggest the 2nd choice. :slight_smile:

Just make up a lie and say your seeing somone and he wouldn’t like it.

RedFury, if we’re talking Tony Roma’s, I’ll behave!